Psychopath. (bwwm) ✓

32. condom problems and i love you

... hey, guys...

| 32.| condom problems and i love you

Getting home at 6 o'clock in the afternoon post-emotional breakdown with your boyfriend, you really just wanna lay down. Besides the cloud I felt like I was drifting on and the smile on my face, I was exhausted and ready to pass out at any given moment...

But life couldn't throw me a bone as I made my way onto my street and neared my house. Jackson was sitting on the steps, hunched over and hands digging into his curly black hair. There was a frown creased into his eyebrows and I could've sworn tears were dropping from his eyes. He was staring at the ground when I'd made my way up the steps, his head tilting up and brown eyes hitting mine briefly before he looked down again, instantly wiping at his face with the heels of his palms.

Carefully sitting down next to him, I leaned my head on his shoulder and hoped that he would find comfort in that.

Sensing that he wasn't going to go out on a limb and tell me, I voiced my question, "What's wrong?" We had been sitting there for a few minutes, cold nipping at the exposed skin of my ankle. Christmas had been a few weeks away as it was the start of December, break not that far away... A lot had happened in a short amount of time and my mind was still spinning.

According to Oliver, I wasn't qualified hot enough to be out in fifty degree weather without being bundled in a thousand layers. When I'd left his house that day, I was wearing a sweater of his over my original sweater and underneath my coat and really, I was thankful. Jackson, however was out here in just a flimsy long sleeve that held absolutely no warmth and some jeans. Pulling off my coat, I handed it to him before tugging Oliver's sweater further over my hands.

Jackson shrugged, "just some stuff." But I knew it wasn't just stuff. He'd been off for a little while, mood shifting hazardously and although I was sure it wasn't something as deep as what January was dealing with, I was pretty worried about my brother. He still didn't seem to want to talk about it and I wasn't that pushy of a person with him so I let it slide, waited for him to elaborate.

When he didn't, I attempted to tiptoe around the situation but I was never very subtle, "Football?"

Shrugging again, he tugged my once-rejected coat over his arms and clasped his hands in front of him. Staring out at nothing in particular, he spoke. His voice had been getting a little drowsier lately, eyes a little sadder and he never gave a straight answer. "I've been thinking a lot, I don't know."

"About?" There was this kind of thing that hung in the air and I wasn't really sure if it were about recent events. There were things going on in his life that I wasn't sure about yet and I never realized how much things effected him until I sat down next to him and we had a conversation.

"I could..." Sighing, he attempted to put his thoughts into words, "I could, you know, die... at any time, Em..."

I didn't get it, where did these thoughts come from? Was he thinking about it often? How long had this been a thing. "Is this about Jan?"

He shrugged again, "somewhat." But I knew that wasn't all and he could tell so, sighing, he tried to explain himself further. "Dre was arrested yesterday for nothing, charged him on possession, he wasn't even smoking I'm worried about him too."

Andre, I'd forgotten about all Jackson's friends, they didn't seem that important to him anymore.

"He'll get bailed out, he's a minor."