Confessions

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Confessions

I somehow ended up at my parents house.

In the midst of all this chaos, the only thing I wanna do right now is cuddle under my mother and have her tell me that everything will be okay.

Even if deep down, I know it's not going to be.

I sigh as I drop Lexi's keys in the bowl by the door, trudging into the living room to sit down. "Mom." My eyes open wide as she looks up from the TV. "I thought you'd be asleep." I tell her in a low voice, flopping down next to her on the couch.

"Late shift." She says, scanning my face. "Spencer, what's wrong?" She sits up and faces me.

The tears that I'd been fighting the entire car ride over decide that now is as good a time as any to present themselves. I fall into my mother's lap, not being able to stand it any longer. She doesn't push me to talk or anything. She just does what she knows I need right now. She rubs my back and tells me everything is gonna be okay.

When I finally settle down I tell her everything that happened tonight. From karaoke to kissing Ashley. I tell her how guilty I feel for kissing Stacy when I know how I feel about Ashley. She doesn't pry or ask for more information about a certain thing, she just lets me tell my story the way I want to.

To be honest, I've never seen her like this. When I'm done she clears her throat, pushing me up gently off her lap to look at my face.

"You are a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman." She says as she cups my face, wiping away my tears with her thumbs. "You deserve to be just as happy as anyone." She gives me a small smile as she nods her head. "And if Ashley makes you happy-"

"But it's wrong." I cut her off, shaking my head in her hands. "It's wrong mom. Lexy is my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."

She drops her hands from my face and sighs. "Then you have to distance yourself from Ashley." She says and I nod, knowing she's right. "This Stacy young lady sounds lovely, Spencer. Maybe you should try with her. See if she makes you happy and if she doesn't then... then move on, but at least you can honestly say that you tried.

"Mom..." I say softly, turning to face her. "I think... I think I'm..."

"I know honey." She cuts me off, nodding as she rubs circles in my back. "I know." I fight the urge to cry again. "I have to get to work, but we can talk more when I get home okay?" I nod as she stands from the couch. "I love you, Spence." She leans down and kisses me on my forehead before grabbing her purse and leaving out the front door.

I sigh as I sink down into the couch. Taking out my phone to text Lexy to let her know I borrowed her car and will have it back before she has work in the morning. I drop my phone onto my lap, turning up the volume on the TV a little.

The Golden Girls.

I've always loved this show. It's always had the ability to make me feel better.

My phone vibrates in my lap, pulling me from the TV. Is this Lexy texting me back already? She should be asleep right now?

What if she was awake that whole time?

What if she heard and saw everything?

What if she... will you just check your damn phone already! My subconscious screams at me.

Fine! I scream back.

Mature I know. I'm screaming at myself.

I finally pick my phone up and see that it's a call from Carmen! Ugh! I really don't have time to deal with this right now. I groan and sit my phone down on the couch next to me when it buzzes again. I growl, fully ready to curse Carmen out when I see it's a text from Stacy. Oh, so I was freaking out for nothing. Nice.

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