Breakeven

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"Ashley if we don't leave now we're gonna be late." I tell my girlfriend as she continues to apply eyeliner.

"I'm trying to look hot for you baby." She turns from the mirror and kisses me.

"You always look hot. You don't have to try." I counter causing her to smile widely.

"One more second." She tells me turning back to the mirror. "All done." She declares a moment later.

"Finally." I sigh out dramatically and smile. She pulls me into her arms, wrapping them around my waist.

"I love you." She tells me as she kisses me softly.

Oh no! I know exactly what she's doing.

"We promised no goodbyes Ashley." I tell her, pulling back to look in her eyes.

"I wasn't saying goodbye, I was simply telling you that I love you." She pecks my forehead then my nose, then my lips again.

"It feels like goodbye and I told you, I can't do goodbye. I only just got you back a few weeks ago." I tell her leaning my forehead against hers. I knew this day was coming, I've been dreading it. Ashley and the band have to go on another small tour around the country to promote their upcoming mix tape. As much as I've been preparing myself... this day still hurts. A measly eighteen hours is not nearly enough time.

But it's all we have left before she goes away for four whole months.

"I know baby." She sighs and pecks my lips again. "I don't want to upset you, I know this is the longest we're gonna be away from each other since you know..."

"I left California three and a half months ago." I finish for her.

"Right." She nods and forces a smile. "It still hurts to think about those three months. Months of crying, trying so hard to figure out a way to get through to you. You wouldn't answer my calls, emails, texts anything. It was horrible Spence." She tells me. I nod knowing exactly how she feels. "Why'd you do it? What were you thinking when you left?"

"I wasn't really." I answer honestly. "I guess I just figured leaving would be easier on everyone, you know. Leaving felt like something I probably should have done before things went as far as they did. Maybe if I had removed myself from the situation sooner-"

"No." She cuts me off, shaking her head. She grabs my head in her hands. "There was nothing either of us could have done baby. This..." She places a hand over my heart then takes the same hand and places it over hers. "Was meant to be. And whether we admitted it then or five years from now..." She rolls her eyes and smiles. "It would have happened eventually. I'm sure of it." I can't help the smile that forms on my lips. Ashley always seems to know the right thing to say to me.

"Yeah." I agree, kissing her lips. She pulls me back by my shoulders and stares at me. "What?" I question, confusion evident in my tone.

"Those three months," She starts, quirking a brow. "How'd you manage to not go insane like me?"

I shrug and shake my head. "I don't know. Madison's a pretty good distraction."

"Seriously?" She asks.

"I mean her and other things." I nod.

"Other things like?" She steps back and sits down on the bed.

"Ash seriously, we're gonna be so late." I whine, but she just looks at me expectantly. "You're seriously gonna do this? And now?" I question my stubborn girlfriend.

"I wanna hear every detail." She replies, scooting back towards the headboard.

"Ugh!" I groan and take a seat on the bed. "Fine. But everything though?" I question in disbelief cause I mean come on, three months is a long time to play catch up on.

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