Finding You

chapter 13

Zay's POV

I go back to the hall where I left Amber. She isn't there. I look around And panic. She isn't in the kitchen either. I check the bathroom and she's not there either.

An itch in the back of my brain tells me that my dad is trying to mind link with me. Something most werewolves lost the ability to do because of the Decreasing.

Son, I feel your panic. What's wrong?

I can't find Amber!

Silence.

Really dad? No words of wisdom? I'm serious.

Your feelings are very jumbled right now. you're panicking and only using your eyes. She's there, don't worry.

I stop my racing heart and listen to hers. And I focus on her smell again. Her being lulls me to her, and I find myself in my room.

"Sorry. I got bored and wanted to sit." She's sitting on my bed.

"So you came to my room?" I ask, relaxed by her voice.

"Uh, yeah. You guys were in the living room so I came here." She blushes for some reason, and I find it so adorable. "It's a nice room," she states.

"Oh, really? What's so nice about it?"

She looks around my boring room. "Your, uh, ceiling is a pretty white."

"Alright what else?" I tease her with an open smile.

"Uhh. It's roomy. Big and open. Um.. Yeah."

I sit on the bed with her, closer than I should be if I'm going to explain things. But explaining is not what's on my mind.

"I wonder how big yours is. Do you think mine is bigger?" I whisper.

She blushes again. "Y-you're talking about the rooms, right?" She stammers.

"Whatever you want me to be talking about, princess."

"The rooms. Yours, I think. Uh, but I like this better anyways."

"Why?" I lean in towards her neck, making her stutter more.

"It g-gives more room to, uhh.. put stuff..."

Her words fade away as I place my lips on her jaw. Being this close, it's almost impossible to not hear how her heart speeds up. I feel it thrum through her veins.

I avoid kissing her neck, that's not a safe idea. I put one hand on her side, pulling her closer as I kiss her cheeks. I move to her nose and then chin and everywhere but her lips. My hands go through her soft brown hair, and I smile from the feeling.

"Kiss me," she pleads. And god do I want to.

"No. Next time don't tease me."

I wrap her in my arms, forcing myself to keep her off my lap. She grabs my body and buries her head in my chest. I feel myself hum. Or what it's called when you're getting teased by other wolves, purr.

Mine.

The word runs softly but powerfully through my mind. I didn't actually think it myself. I look around but of course there is no one who could have mind linked.

"Was that you?" Amber asks, looking up at me.

"Was what me?" Did she hear the word too?

"That purring." She places a hand on my chest causing me to "purr" again.

"Oh, that. Uhh..no," I say, avoiding her gaze.

She raises both eyebrows and wraps both arms around my neck for an even closer hug. I can't help myself.

"It is you. Zay, why are you purring? I thought cats purred. Are you like a cat too?"

I growl quietly. Those creatures are weak. "Don't compare me to a cat. That's just offensive. And don't call it that."

"Then what shall I call your purring?"

"It's humming."

"Oh. Do you always purr? I mean hum?"

I am actually embarrassed to answer that right now.

"I'll explain that later. But on the subject of explaining," I say, untangling myself from her. "I need to tell you what's going on."

* • * • * • *

"Yeah. That's pretty much the most important things."

I just recapped everything my dad told me to her for the second time today.

"I'm still sort of confused. I don't know what the decreasing is. You talk about it like I should know what it is."

Oh yeah. "That was when the whole werewolf society broke apart. The wolf gods must have been angered."

"What happened?"

I take a deep breath. "It started with a disease. Wolves all across the world were dying from an incurable sickness. Mostly the higher in rank. So one by one, Alphas would get sick and the disease would spread to the rest of the pack.

"The pregnant females in the packs would move. They were afraid for the pups, afraid that if they got sick, so would their baby. But even the most innocent, healthiest females felt the wolf god's wrath. The fetus would die in their mothers womb, or right at birth. Every pup died. The survivors gathered near this area somewhere. But as you said, no wolves higher than a beta have been found."

"Wow. So you guys will die out completely?" she asks.

"No, the Decreasing is over. We are still recovering from it, though. The females are starting to conceive again. But that's not the only thing that happened. Without an Alpha, most wolves lost the ability to mind link. And we all lost our wolf."

She looks confused. "Mind linking?"

"It's like telepathy for wolves."

She smiles. "That's sorta cool."

"Not always. I had some annoying, perverted friends who mind linked with me way too much."

"Can you send, like, images?"

"Yeah, if the bond between the two wolves mind linking is strong enough."

"And if you lost your wolf, wouldn't that make you human?"

I chuckle. Sadly, no. "No, let me say it a way you would understand."

I think for a bit, without looking at her. "I'm human, but I'm also a wolf. That's two things in one. My wolf used to be like another being inside me, my head. We could communicate with words, feelings, and sometimes actions. In my wolf form, it was the other way around.

"But after the Decreasing, we could no longer communicate with it, and they couldn't with us. So along with losing them, we lost the ability to find our mate. We were confused, because of course, we could still shift. Those who didn't get along with their wolf were toast. Their wolf took over as soon as they shifted and didn't give back control. Good thing I loved my wolf."

I look darkly at her. "But it's almost as if I am the monster now, not just something inside of me."

"Zay you-"

"Don't tell me I'm not a monster. You're lying to yourself," I snap.

I don't look at her, afraid to see her hurt. "C'mon, we have to go to your house."

I get up and walk out of the room before I make any more stupid mistakes.