LGBT+ True Coming Out Stories

Forced Out

"17/ gender fluid but more leaning to girl / pansexual but really labels confuse me and so i just go with what i feel like.
my friend whos asexual and panromantic had helped me become more familiar with myself, i also have a crush on her, we hangout every so often (lets call her ace). i talked to ace about coming out to my sister who is much more calmer about things like this but also very religious, mormon. a month before i came out to my family i came out to her and its super cool and she's very nice about how she accepted me but not supported me which honestly her accepting me is all the support i need. and she understood where i was coming from and i told her in a way she could understand but not that i was born this way. but anyway life goes on.
during that next week we are given an assignment in class to go on a date for 2 hours and the most you can spend is $5 (usa). so i ask ace out and we hangout and get sushi then we go back to her place and cuddle. it was very nice. and i usually hate dates in general but id say that was my most favorable date of all.
and the next my sister who i came out to, i told about the date and she kept saying thats not ok. which i really didn't listen to and just shrugged off.
when i told my mom about the date thing she just thought it was the assignment nothing more, nothing less.
so me and ace keep hanging out and such which is all fun and she's super cute. i really like her. but when she comes over to my house its all tense and such. but when we're cuddling my mom notices we hold hands. (we do it just bc i like holding hands with anyone, but her especially). my mom doesnt say anything while ace is around and the next day after ace leaves my mom starts asking me is ace straight? i told her no and then she asked if she's ever hit on me and i told her no. then i explained to her that ace is asexual then my mom says don't worry she'll find a nice boy to be with. and i really just wanted to say shut up then something sassy.
i tell ace that just because i have no close friends other than her and i really needed that off my chest.
so we text back and forth before i come out to my family. and the night before i come out i hangout with ace and is super fun and awesome. i go home and sleep while dreaming of cuddling with ace. the next morning my mom does this phone check and this is completely new to me and so i start to panic. i hand over my phone and she starts to read mine and ace's texts about being pan, about other kids, or about just random things. and while she's reading them im having this huge panic attack, im wheezing so hard and my heart is pounding so hard and i already have a problematic heart so this just pushes me over the edge so much that i can't breathe let alone talk or even hold still. and everyone around me is saying breathe and that just keeps adding to it all, and while everyone is doing that my mom is doing nothing to help me.
so i keep saying call my sister (that I came out to) and my mom finally listens to me and does that. she is so far the only one to actually calm me down.
once i actually calm down my mom and dad start to yell at me about how how im a sinner and that im invalid and that im worshiping the devil. (my family is all mormon) i was expecting their reactions.
so i just sit there taking in what they're saying and ive already heard all of this but from different people.
in the end they still love me still hate me "decision". but its not a decision. dont force anyone out even if you know that everyone would accept. sexuality is not a choice but being proud is. im very happy with who i am and my sexuality. dont force anyone out who doesnt want to be out.
all love is equal."