LGBT+ True Coming Out Stories

I Can't Come Out

Name: Logan

Gender: ABSOLUTELY MALE (trans)

I can't come out. Not because my family doesn't support me, not because I'm in an unsafe position, but because I myself am afraid of what will happen. What if I'm wrong? What if even though I feel dysphoric about my body, and want to scream every time I look at myself in the mirror, I'm wrong? What if I'm just a girl, confused, and maybe just a lesbian? Of course, I know that that isn't true, but I can't convince myself that it's not.

I tried to come out to my family this year through a letter, basically saying that this is how I felt, and outlined what I wanted to do about it. I pushed it off and pushed it off. I was so nervous that I wasn't eating, and my mom noticed. I knew I couldn't stall anymore, so one day I came downstairs, and stuttered for a while, then basically threw the letter at them and said "read this" as I ran back to my room and started to cry. My mom and sister walked into my room and I freaked out. I sort of copped out of coming out, saying that I was being extreme, and that I just was looking at some gender issues, and things like that. My mom said we could talk to a therapist or something, to figure stuff out, but that was a year ago. Everything has gone back to normal, as if nothing changed at all, and even though I know they are entirely supportive, I am too scared to try and come out and push the issue for a second time.