Defiance • Bellamy Blake [1]

46. What doesn't kill you makes you Stronger

I paced back and forth as I watched Clarke mend Lexa's wounds. The entire time, Lexa's eyes followed my movements. I could tell she wanted to say something, and I was growing impatient waiting for her to speak.

"Just say what's on your mind," I said, stopping and crossing my arms over my chest.

"You should've left me behind." She said. "Now three will die here instead of one."

"I'm still new to your culture, but when someone saves your life, my people say thank you."

"I'm serious. To lead well, you must make hard choices."

"Hard choices? You're telling me that?" I asked, astonished.

I was the one who had to put a knife in Atom's neck to keep him from suffering. I was the one who burned 300 of her people alive in a ring of fire, and left the man I loved out there to die. Who was she to say that I couldn't make hard choices?

"I've seen your strength -- it's true -- but now you waver. You couldn't kill Quint, you couldn't leave me to die. That was weakness."

"I thought love was weakness." I said bitterly, replaying the words she said to Clarke and I.

"Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Harley."

"You want to know why I saved you? Because we need you. God forbid one of your generals becomes commander. You may be heartless, Lexa, but at least you're smart."

Lexa smiled the smallest of smiles. "Don't worry. My spirit will choose much more wisely than that." She said.

"Your spirit?" Clarke asked, suddenly becoming very interested.

"When I die, my spirit will find the next commander." She explained.

"Reincarnation. That's how you became commander." 

"How are your leaders chosen?" 

Before either of us could answer, a slamming came from the door, along with roaring. I tensed up, as I loaded my bow with an arrow. 

"It found us." I said.

"Don't be afraid. Death is not the end." Lexa said.

"Thank you, I feel much better now." I snapped.

"We are not dying here." Clarke stated, looking at me, before her eyes landed on Lexa. "I need your spirit to say where it is."

"Then get ready to fight. He's coming in." Lexa said, stepping forward.

"Maybe we let it in." I realized, running for the door. "Over here."

Clarke and Lexa followed me, pressing their backs against the wall beside the door. I had a plan, and I really hoped it wouldn't backfire.

"Now!" I shouted, lifting the sword from its place. The door flew open and the beast ran in. "Go!"

Clarke ran and I grabbed Lexa, pushing her out. Once I exited the room, I slammed the door shut before dropping the steel lock. The roaring continued as the beast tried to slam open the door. We all took a deep breath, and I couldn't help but feel a little proud that my plan worked.