Life As A Shadow Knight

Chapter 14

What kind of pathetic display of sadness is this? You're a Shadow Knight. So what if you suffered reading that? Suffering is a part of your existence

I knew my brain was right but it still pained me to see this. Why? I wanted to protect and help but did I do that? No! I only destroyed and made everything around me suffer.

I'm like glass. Fragile and strong when its in its structure, but when broken hurts everything in it's path. I was broken and harming everyone and everything when I just wanted to protect. But I wasn't protecting now was I?

If I was when why was my kill rate higher than my save rate which hadn't moved from zero.

Taking a deep breath I knew I had to calm down and continue my mission, spy on villages. What I found here was very groundbreaking but I had to forget all about it. I had a mission, a goal and I couldn't lose that in my sorrow.

Let's just.... forget this ever happened. That's the best choice right? Remember we can't ever change now. We're going to be good at what we do.

As I stood up, I could barely keep a strong posture. My legs were shaking with every step and my eyes kept darting left to right, as if believing that the demons that had haunted me throughout my entire Shadow Knight existence were going to leap out at me and pummel me like they always did.

Only then, I had been able to take it and used it as a strong barrier to keep my Shadow Knight self going.

Now, I was charging in unarmed with my hands tied while broken inside. I mean, I was always broken but I used to be broken with a purpose. One that I was happy to fulfill.

Now my purpose was gone. I was nothing. I was no one.

A strange sensation began to rise into my sight, it blurred out everything in the world and I felt a watery substance creeping down my cheek. It felt sad, disappointed and seemed to be agreeing with my utter failure. What was this?

Tears. Something I had not felt in a long, long time. It felt weird to cry and I wasn't used to it. When I was a Shadow Knight, I would never cry. How could I when I was pretty much emotionless? I was a monster, a cold-blooded killer.

And now what was I?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Trekking quietly, I payed little attention to my surroundings and just focused on the ground though in my mind, I was only thinking about myself because I was completely selfish. Here I was with all this emotional pain when there was others who were dealing with physical pain, one that you could actually feel. One that was real.

My emotions nor pain wasn't real. Pain physically and mentally didn't exist for me. Want to know why? Because I was a Shadow Knight, I was immortal and emotionless. I had just been in the overworld too long so my emotions had returned.

"Ack!" I grumbled instinctively when my foot tripped on something. What? Something just lying in the middle of nowhere in a field? Curiously, I bent down and picked up a book. A leather one. It looked eerily familiar. Bewildered and curious, I opened the book and was greeted to smiling faces. As I kept flipping the pages, I kept seeing more and more faces.

They all looked so familiar! It was usually just the same two girls, one kinda looking like me but way younger and with bangs. The other was blonde with light green eyes that paled in comparison to the girl with dark green eyes. Both seemed happy and under was always a caption though I ignored those. 

I had no idea who these people were or why I recognized them but for some strange reason I felt oddly.... happy to see them. A nice change from the absolute sorrow I'd been feeling a few moments before. Hugging the scrapbook tight, I slipped it into my backpack then saw something glistening in the distance.