Life As A Shadow Knight

Chapter 17

She knew I was her sister. I know that she knows. So why didn't she tell me? The look in her eyes looked so happy and bright that I know that she recognized me. Why didn't she say anything? Did she not want me to find out? Did she not like me? No, the look in her eyes was too bright for that.

I massaged my temples in stress. Questions whirling through my mind. Why had I not mentioned her in my diary? 

So many secrets and questions were buried among my past. What I left behind. None of this would've ever happened if I hadn't read my diary. If Sasha hadn't let me go. What would things be like now if I had remained in the nether.

Looking down, I knew what they'd be like. I would be determined on getting the Shadow Lord to his full potential and finding a way out. I would be training in a gloomy room. I would have never discovered these things about myself. Gene must've not wanted me to find these objects in fear that I would betray them. But how many secrets had I uncovered? Gene didn't give me these things because he was scared I would turn. Not because he didn't want me to get hurt with more betrayal.

But the Shadow Knights are still better than my father. He betrayed me!

It was true. My father had left me behind, still proving more reason to stay to the Shadow Knights. Even if I wanted to turn I couldn't. There was no where to turn to. My father hated me. My entire village hated me. This was the only life I could ever have now. I would just have to move past these horrible things I've encountered. 

Slamming the scrapbook closed, I still knew there was secrets of my past life. Like where is Alta now? Why do I have this bracelet and scrapbook? Who did I get them from? 

I would figure everything about myself. I would find all the information that was buried from me. I had gone this far, might as well finish it. 

Standing up, I decided to go and see Sibyl. She had plenty of actions that needed to be responded to. 

I walked across the familiar plains, heading straight towards the forest. Towards Sibyl. On the way, I began to think of everything. All the emotions that were building up inside of me... I let them out. I let all of them out, I regretted it but I also didn't care. As they swirled around me, touching every nerve, I remained silently and waited until it was all over.

First off, what had happened to Eknarah. Err-well, the new one. The Shadow Knights did destroy their village twice. Was Lord Regina still in power? She was a kind, benevolent leader. When the Shadow Knights invaded, she immediately organized a patrol of guards to escort the villages away and sent the rest to fight with her alongside them. It was her I killed, it was her father. I'm talking about when we invaded when I was a Shadow Knight. Lord Reginald was the one I killed. I know, Reginald, Regina. They sound similar. Reginald wanted someone to continue his legacy or whatever. Were the people happy? We weren't that big of a village, with only a population of 13 but it was still a nice village. One that I was proud to call home... 

Swallowing, I forced myself to continue along the path and moved on to the next subject. 

Alta. My best friend. The way that I described her made me want to find her. I wish I knew where she was or had some idea. Maybe I could question Sibyl about that. Does Alta still live in Eknarah? Somehow, I don't think so. Must be a part of the past me that knows Alta well, unlike the person I am now. I feel a lump in my throat and I reach towards a longing to not be alone. To have someone walking alongside me, footsteps matching mine. Someone that cares about me. Someone that would fight alongside me and journey with me until the very end. Was that someone Alta? Did I throw that friendship away when I joined the Shadow Knights? Yes... yes I did.

Aphmau and Laurence. I know this isn't a subject I shouldn't pay much mind too, seeing as I only saw them twice. But still. They're threats and I know their going to make an impact on my life. Whether that impact is good or bad, I don't know but I do know that whatever happens. I have to be ready to ride along with it. To fend it off and keep myself safe. Keep everyone safe. Who is even is everyone though? Sibyl, Alta, and the ones who are good? Or the Shadow Knights, who saved me when I was down. Both have done someone good for me and someone bad. But the thing is, the Shadow Knights may have lied to me, but that's their nature. All of the relationships in the nether, are built upon lies. But we ignore this factor and continue on with our mission. It seems neverending at some points but it will end one day. And when that day comes... what will I be? Who's side am I on anymore? Obviously not the good side with Aphmau or Sibyl or Alta but lately I've been drifting off the path the Shadow Knights walk. I've been weaving amongst a bright yet dangerous forest and possibly might have lost the path that made me who I am.