Save Me - H20Vanoss

5:4

I soon awoke to the door being knocked on I groaned pulling my headphones out and opening the door to find my sister with a confused look on her face " Are you ok" she said and I could feel the tears threatening my eyes.

She pulled me into a hug and held me tight as she walked me to my room and pulled me into her chest as she rubbed my back.

Im so stupid I shouldn't be alive.

" Shhh" she whispered into my ear and I couldn't hold back anymore the tears where now like water falls and it was hard to breath.

She held me tighter rubbing my back she may be my sister but she can be a hell of a mother figure to me at times.

Evan.

" Is Evan still here" I asked trying to calm down " No he's not and I'm guessing something happened by how upset your are" she said kissing the side of my head.

" Yeah I fucked up" I said harshly and she just stayed calm rubbing my back " And how so did you fuck up" she said and I clenched my jaw thinking about what happened.

" I kissed him" I finally said and she just held me closer " Well how did he react" she said and more tears started to flow.

" He kissed back" I said and she hummed " And what happened next" she said softly.

" I asked him if he was even into guys and he said no" I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her burring my head in her neck " If he wasn't then he wouldn't have kissed back" she said.

Like I fucking know.

" I don't know I cut him off before he could finish because I was already to hurt" I said and she pulled me back making me look at her " Hunny you should have let him finish you never know what he could have said and the fact he kissed back tells me it wasn't a fuck up and did he seem grossed out" she said and I shook my head.

" No he wanted to kiss me again but I pushed him off" I said hanging my head low.

" Hun he could be confused remember the first time you kissed a guy... he's probably never had it happen so he stayed with girls and the fact he wanted to kiss you again should tell you something because instead of freaking out on you or acting grossed out he must have liked it because he wanted to do it again" she said giving me a soft smile.

If I waited any longer what if I heard something that hurt me more or maybe it was just a heat of the moment thing.

" What if he said something that hurt me more" I said and she placed a hand on my shoulder " You never know but I'm sure you wouldn't have and no I think Monday you should try to talk to him when your more calmed down" she said getting up.

" And tomorrow I'll take you to that spot you need some rest in a bed and not a door" she said giving me a soft smile and shutting my light off before closing the door behind her.

I laid in bed not able to think so I pulled my phone out and texted Cry.

J - You awake?

C - Yeah what's up?

J - Did you ever kiss a guy first or did he kiss you?

C - Well I was always dating girls and then a this guy I was hanging out with started to act funny around me I knew he was bi but it didn't bother me and one day he kissed me I didn't know how to react because I liked it but on the other hand I thought it was wrong, once I realized it was ok... I was to late.

J - What do you mean too late.

C - He moved and I never saw him again.

J - Im sorry to hear that and thanks.

C - No problem :).