Being Misunderstood [COMPLETED]

14: Secret Love Song

       Waking up the next day in my own bed, wouldn't know what to feel after last night's kiss with Fred. Am I supposed to like it? I don't hate it, obviously. Mainly because I was never kissed by any other guy after Karl but this is Fred, he's a good friend, we're partners on a song project, and he's kind, caring, funny, understanding, and is great with my family and not to mention so talented musically! I'm way out of his league, obviously and it's just a New Year's kiss tradition cause supposedly you need to kiss someone on New Years but why does it feel so right? Why does his lips fit perfectly onto mine? Why do I feel like his kiss make me feel good about myself? I'm over analyzing everything as usual, it's just a kiss. It meant nothing, it's just a casual New Years kiss. But we had a moment when our lips part, I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and felt...safe like a blanket just wrapped around me. Snap out of it, Lyla! He's a friend, a great one, you do not want to jeopardize this friendship just cause of one thing, chill will ya? Then we linked continued walking along the park and talk about million different stuffs, like I have known him all my life. I smile replaying last nights laugh in my head,  then there's a knock on the door. 

"Come in", I said and I saw his wide adorable grin and my intestines starts to twist into knots that I don't think I can unravel. "H-h-hi", I said cause it's possibly that I have a crush on Fred but I don't know, I'm gonna try to keep it casual.

"Hey, how you're feeling? Bad hangover?", he asked and my head doesn't hurt that much cause I didn't drink that much. "I'm good, what about you?"

He walked closer and sit on the edge of my bed, "I'm alright, I..err just wanna apologize that I kissed you last night. I was slightly drunk and meeting Jenny last night just reminded me that I wasn't good enough for her and felt lonely for quite awhile and.....", I put my hand on the back of his neck and his eyes look straight into mine, "hey, no worries. It's just a New Years kiss", I smiled and quite relieved that we are not gonna move into a different phase of our relationship but also like a sharp knife going scratching the surface of skin and my blood running out slowly because he did not think of me in such a way that I thought of him. He smiles, and like magic he just said the things that I needed to hear but, I gotta stay real. "but Lyla, you are wonderful, you''re an amazing woman and I'm glad that I....", "don't worry about it, let's have breakfast and start working on the song. I'll meet you down in 10 minutes, I have to take a shower, I smell like last year's resolution", I replied and he chuckled. I got up and walk straight into the bathroom and trying to avoid eye contact, just to show how casual I am about this whole situation. 

------------------------------------------------------

After a lovely breakfast with my family and Fred, Fred came into my room with his beat board and I let him sit on my desk and I already have a notebook in my hand as I sit on my bed. "So how far you've got with the song?", he asked me. I sighed, "you have to be patient with me, cause you know, I'm not like Taylor Swift where I could write a song about anything for 20 minutes".

He chuckled, "I'm not even expecting you to", I'm like holding onto my heart not to fall for him because it's not right. I flip open my notebook, and read him the lyrics I wrote so far.

Never have I thought that I would be happy with you,
Never have I thought that it would end as the season changes,
Never have I thought it would be this hard,
But I'll get through it, I will,cause never have I thought I could do it. 
And live a brighter day.

Being in the past, where everything has to do with you, just you.
I forgot me, myself and I. 
Look at me now, I'm walking in sunshine kissing on my skin,
Feeling the push of the wind, telling me to go hard or go home, cause life has so much to give.

But the scarred wound's always there, it will always be there
Reminding you what lovee should feel, but give it time cause 
love yourself before love comes to life. 

"That's...beautiful", he flipped his hand excitedly.I giggle at his reaction, "you're just saying that", I said.

"No, truly, that's great. I could feel that you are trying to get over the that you loved and focus on the one that needed that love all along, yourself", he said and we stood silence there for a moment and that feeling came again, where he's wrapping a safe blanket around me. Then he started to set his beat board to piano mode, and he starts to be playing it literally, it's music to my ears.

"Try singing to it, like what you did yesterday", he told me and I told him back, "how? I could do it yesterday cause I know how the rhythm goes, I don't know how this song should sound?".

"What do you want people to hear from this song?", he asks.

"the lyrics, of course", I answered and he chuckles, "let me rephrase the question.What do you want people to feel when they listen to the lyrics?"

Then I let out a loud ooohhh. I understand what he meant cause I feel a lot of things through many different songs, for example, when I listen to Justin Timberlake's Not a Bad Thing, I feel brave to actually believe in fairy tales, believe in happy endings even though it's bullshit and realistically people could convince me that love is just a reason for sex or it's only true for family and not strangers. 

"I want them to feel like they're more than they think, and any past events or breakups broke you once, it doesn't mean that have to stay broken. Another thing is, to be in love you got to know what love is and to know what love is then love yourself cause if you don't love yourself, you don't know what love is", he started playing a tune on his board, "let that show, Lyla. Tell them that with your voice through your lyrics". 

I prolonged my pronunciation to show that I understand how it felt to be powerless, and being overpowered by emotions, and then I raise my voice to make it sound like there's hope if we step up and focus on what's important, and we practiced a few times, and all of the sudden, we have a melody for this song. 

"What just happened?", I excitedly asked and he calmly answered, "we have a song". I jumped in excitement around the room, not believing that I actually wrote a song and helped Fred with the melody, this is all too exciting till I accidentally hugged Fred at his shoulders and his hands were on mine. Then I realized how close our faces are side by side, I immediately let go and try to shake off the jitters from touching his cheek with mine and his good smell. 

"But we're not really done yet, we need one more verse of this song and perhaps a bridge. You need help with your singing as well", he teased me. He is acting so calm that I'm truly convinced that he doesn't think of me like that so I got to shake it off. "Say the one that doesn't sing", I teased him back.

"Oh if you have heard it, you wouldn't get enough of it", he said and I disagree, "yeah, right. Show me what you got Frederick". He smirks at me, and before he sings, he turned to me, "any requests?"

"What a snob!", I exclaimed and he said,"I don't think I know that song, is that brand new?", I laughed at his ignorance and think of a song.

"Secret Love Song", I said and he let out a sigh, "that song just came out like 3 days ago, I don't think I know the exact words.

"I don't care, I'm in love with that song right now!", I persisted. 

"Fine fine, let me try".

  When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours

We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough
It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face

But we know this, we got a love that is homeless

The only thought that runs into my mind is, he's really not helping me to get rid of this little crush. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: Yas, I'm in love with this song right now. I'm listening to it bazillion times today, and trying to hit the high note everytime and hoping my flatmates are not annoyed by it xD hehe

Enjoy this chapter as much as I did, and please comment down below! :D

Much lovessss xx