Being Misunderstood [COMPLETED]

18: Love is Won

I look at my watch and I'm super duper late for my friendly date with Dylan, and I'm still standing in front of my closet. I mean, okay it's not practically a date but still I want to look good, not too sexy or too nice that implies that I'm ready for my relationship to go further but I see no harm in that? Right now, I'm starting to see real Dylan and tonight, I'm going to get to know him even more but at the same time I do not want to lead him on cause I don't even know what I want. First, I wanted Dylan but it didn't seem attainable at first cause what guy in the right mind would wanna date a shadow walking around campus and not a head-turner? Especially a guy as good looking as Dylan, and what girl in the right mind would turn down an opportunity to be with him? So, I accepted his proposal to be platonic cause I was hoping that he would fall for me through the times we spent together despite the fact that he spend his time with other girls as well. Sometimes I ask myself, why am I putting myself in this pathetic position? Fred mentioned once to me that be with someone that wants to be with me, and surely he made it clear. 

When I think about it, maybe it's because I know that I would not find anyone better than Karl and whoever comes my way, I should just take it as it is cause no one could replace Karl and love me the way he did, so if I only get the slightest affection from a guy that's only interested in a platonic relationship with me, I'll take it. Cause I have no belief that I'll ever feel happy the way I was with Karl. 

I accepted that, I made peace with it. Then spending time and making music with Fred makes me feel safe, sense of belonging and actually, happy. My feelings towards him escalated when we kissed but even before that, before that, I just like hanging out with him cause I could be real with him and he wouldn't even mind. Come to think of it, anyone could easily fall for Fred, he's sweet, kind, caring, passionate and understanding, and other positive adjectives in the dictionary. He would treat any girl the same way, so feelings could be easily misunderstood and I should know, cause being misunderstood is sort of my forte. Moreover, thinking that a guy like him would fall for a dork like me, and not to mention he stresses that I am a dork, is just unrealistic. 

Putting on a grey sweater-dress, with leggings and loafers, I grab my purse and make my way to meet Dylan. As soon as I saw Dylan's figure in front of the restaurant, I ran towards him and stop before I bumped into him and ruin the night before it even started. 

"Woah there!", he said, "I thought you're gonna stood me up". 

I smiled, "I would never do that, I'm just late. Do we still have our reservations?"

He walked up to the usher of the restaurant and asked about the reservation, and she said, "I'm sorry, we already gave your table away. You could come back within an hour and a half". "Half and hour? We're just..I mean I was only late for 10 minutes", I told her and she pursed her lips, "I'm sorry ma'am but today is a busy night, and you should know how busy we are, considering this is one of the best restaurants here". I was taken aback by her remarks, did she just mock my time management and my neglect on the restaurant's high standard? "Excuse me", I said. 

"So would you still want to try again? Do you want me to put you in the list?", she asked looking at Dylan, I replied without even consulting Dylan considering he asked me to dinner, "and see your face and arrogant attitude? Not to mention, your weak communication skills to customers. No, we are not coming back, ever. Even though you are working in one of the best restaurants, you are the definitely not one of the best ushers, the waiter in Papa John's is more likeable than you", I said and grab Dylan's hand and walk away from the restaurant. 

I could hear Dylan chuckle, "that was...impressive". I turned to him, "she deserved it, did you see how she told me off as if I don't have perfect time management skills? Well, she doesn't have to think what to wear cause she's wearing the same thing every single day!". "Calm down Lyla, let's go eat somewhere else, but I bet all the good restaurants are fully booked tonight, it is Saturday". Then I realized how stupid I am, I put my hands onto my face, "oh my God! I'm so sorry! You already have the decency to book a nice fancy dinner, and I showed up late, and probably banned from going there again. Ugh, I just have to ruin the night before it even started!". The Dylan I knew would react cool and offer to reschedule cause he wouldn't want to bring a girl anywhere but a nice restaurant to have dinner, but instead of doing that, he said, "let's have pizza".