Being Misunderstood [COMPLETED]

20: Love me or leave me

I have been staring at my phone for an hour now, I'm not even listening to a damn thing what the lecturer is talking about. I've been staring at it for two whole days now, he didn't call or text to apologize or explain what the hell happened? Did I say something wrong? I did not say anything, and that's the thing. I didn't say anything. My fingers have been itching to call him or drop him a text but I better give him space, let him calm down and take his own pace to explain everything to me cause he left me that night, standing there under a street lamp as if it was a spotlight, where all eyes was on me but that only matters if he looked at me. He didn't. I was confused, still am actually. 

To make things more awkward, the performance of our song project is within two days and tomorrow I am supposed to go to his place for a last practice, will he treat me differently? Will he give me a cold shoulder? 

"Give chapter 5 a read, and we shall discuss it next week, have a great weekend", I heard the lecturer said and I put my unwritten notebook back into my bag and walk out of the class. I plugged in my earphone to let Spotify lift my gloomy mood but then my phone suddenly rings. It's Rosie. I'm seriously in no mood for talking, I just wanna...walk. Walk in silence, like how I did. I declined the call and press play on the Heartbreaker playlist. Am I heartbroken? Why would I be? Fred is just my friend, and nothing more but giving the fact that I have feelings for him and he doesn't want to talk to me anymore is heartbreaking. Plus, I know how heartbreak feels like and...God! Just thinking about feelings make my chest hurts from holding onto the tears in my eyes. Why am I so emotional about something that is not even there? Am I so gullible? Why did I let myself fall for a person that's everybody's favourite? Why did I fall for the popular guy? I'm so stupid! Why am I so emotional about something that is not even there? I really feel like screaming my heart out because the thing that's worse than mutual feelings is losing a friend, a good friend. Best friend, even.

As soon as Little Mix's song came up, my feelings starting to pour out and admitting to things I'm scared to admit to. So what everything he says make me smile like I'm on cloud nine? So what he understood my every move and not judge my silly antiques? So what that his smile lights me up brighter than New York? So what if I'm gonna fall for him every time that he calls my name? So what if he makes me feel comfortable in my own skin? So what that he made me feel happy again? I lost him.

You used to tell me that you loved me once

What happened, what happened?
Where is all of this coming from?
What happened, what happened?
You say I'm crazy and there's nothing wrong
You're lying and you know I know
Baby what have we become?
What happened?

I sit on a bench, just cause I needed to sit. I know that the only thing to resolve this is to give him a call and just let him tell me that he doesn't want to talk to me but I don't have the guts. Plus, I'm meeting him tomorrow for practice. That's just it, when I see him tomorrow, I just want an explanation and if he does give me one, great but if he's not then it's alright. If he wants to stop talking to me then no ones stopping him, but if he still wants to talk to me then, I have to back off cause this feeling is just eating me up and I don't think I want to fool myself any longer and obviously, the way I treated the situation by ignoring him makes him go bonkers then to sustain my sanity and his, I better back off. I just feel it's for the best. 

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As I am on my way to Fred's place, I've been hearing to the same playlist since yesterday. But then a call interrupted my soul treatment, it's Rosie again and when I was about to decline the call, I could hear her voice through my earphones.

"DON'T YOU DARE, GORT! DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!", I turn my head and I could see an angry smurf with heels walking to my direction. I've been preparing myself to face Fred, but I definitely have not prepared myself to face Rosie. "I'm sorry I have not called back or even text, it's just..I'm going through some stuffs...", I tried to explain myself as she was walking closer and closer but then she just unplug my earphone from my phone, "this is used for communication, when someone's calling, you pick up the damn call and if you can't talk, you'll call later and if you're fucking busy, you drop a text! It's not only a device for your Spotify thingy or edit pictures or even slaying some angry birds. Before it's all of that, it's a phone, so use it!". 

I nod my head, "Sorry". 

Then she calmed down, "it's alright, sorry for yelling but you deserved it". I agreed, "sorry". 

"Don't you think you owe me an explanation for not calling me back?", she widened her eyes and I clear my throat, thinking on how to explain this. "I'm...I'm just trying to sort out my feelings for Fred. We went out a few nights ago and it didn't went well..what happened was..", before I could tell her the whole story, she place her hand in front of my face. "No need, I know what happened. Fred told me". 

I roll my eyes, thinking on how could I forget, they're seeing each other. "And please stop assuming that I'm seeing him. I'm not", she said. Then I cross my arms, "if he told you then you must have known why he acted like a rogue bandit, tell me then". "I can't", she simply stated.

"What do you mean, you can't? Isn't that why you called me? To tell me what actually happened?", I demanded. She shook her head, "I called you to tell you to provoke him onto telling you why he was being a rogue bandit". I furrowed my brows, "why can't you tell me?". "Because if I told you then he would not admit", she said. I raised my voice slightly, "admit what?"

"Just ask him, if he avoids then provoke him. Let him tell you", she insisted as so did I. "Just bloody tell me, Rosie! You know how I feel about him! I'm marching my ass down to have a practice session and yeah, I was going to ask him once, I'm not gonna provoke him and make me look like I'm desperate!". 

Rosie hold my shoulders, "Lyla, for once, could you use your big brain of yours. Analyse this like how you over think every single damn thing. Why would he feel abandoned when you ignore him? He kissed you and said it was just a kiss, because he knew that you were seeing someone. He called you a dork to cover up his adoration on every dorky thing you do. He brought you to dinner, and you two had a good time, heck you two have great time whenever you guys got together and don't you ever think that he would miss you? Why he was being so over-judgmental about your relationship with Dylan? And whenever I go out with him is only to talk about you, because he thought he had a chance but now when he sees you that you're happy with Dylan, like a gentleman he is, he backs off but I guess he just miss you too much, Lyla". 

I look into Rosie's eyes, slowly processing every word she says. Is she playing with me? This is not something to play with, I may look like I could throw a canteen table across the hall if I'm in the mood for it but my feelings as fragile as a chinese vase. 

"Rosie, how can you not tell me?", I asked her.

"You would not believe me, you would want him to say it", she said. 

I smiled and hugged her for being there for me even though I was an asshole to her, I let go of her, "I'll call you, I promise". 

I continue my way to Fred's place and I'm going to make him tell me. 

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a/n: Hi guys! Shit!!! Shit's gon go down! 

I'm in a rush now, but hopefully you guys like it and vote and comment, and certainly I will reply and let's be friends, and if you guys have not read my latest status/update that after this book I'm gonna work on a book that supports the #ProjectManDown campaign. I hope you guys hope on board with me, and let's enjoy this journey while it's going to last :DDD

Much lovess xx