Unavoidable Attraction

Don't Ever Let Go

Hermione sat in Severus' private quarters alone curled up on the couch with a large book in her lap. She had been sitting there for almost two hours and there was still no sign of Severus. He had gone to speak with Professor McGonagall and hadn't returned.

She took a deep breath and pulled herself off the couch and into the bedroom where she crossed into the bathroom. The tiles were cold on her bare feet. She looked in the mirror and frowned. She looked exhausted. There were large blue bags under her eyes and still a large cut going across her left cheek.

She had straightened her hair and pulled it back and she was now realizing how bad of an idea that was. Her whole body ached and she turned on the warm water. It may have been almost 2 weeks since she had escaped Malfoy manor, but her thoughts were as if it had happened just seconds before.

She had been violated, tortured, and neglected. She watched as the love of her life barely clung to life in the cold empty basement. She could still see all the blood that came from both her and Severus and she still felt the glass beneath her feet.

She leaned down and splashed a small amount of water on her face and looked back up. How had she survived? She had been face to face with death so many times she had lost count, but each time, she escaped with a few battle wounds and another memory to be kept forever in the back of her mind.

She felt overwhelmed. She was only 18 years old, but she had suffered more than 18 lifetimes worth of torture. Nobody knew how she felt. She kept most things locked inside because everyone had their own struggles and she didn't need to add hers onto them.

She took a step back and it became harder and harder to breathe. She pulled at her shirt and gripped her chest as her heart rate increased. She backed slowly into the wall and collapsed to the floor.

She felt as if she was having a heart attack. She had no control over what her body was doing and she struggled to breathe. The room began spinning  as she tried to ground herself but nothing worked. She lost control and began crying and screaming. The room became very small very fast.  She lay alone crying on the bathroom floor not knowing if this would be her last moment.

She shut her eyes as tight as she could and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She soon felt two strong hands grasp her shoulders tightly. She fought against them kicking and screaming. She refused to open her eyes as Severus pulled her into his chest and held her as tightly as he could.

"Shh darling. It's alright. I'm here" he whispered to her calmly.

She continued to fight but soon lost all her energy. It took several minutes for her body to slow but her breathing became slower and her heart grew tired.

She relaxed in Severus' grip and sobbed into his coat. "Severus..." She coughed

"Shhh darling. Everything is fine. I have you."

"I'm going crazy aren't I?"

"No. No sweetheart. You're not."

He gently lifted her off the floor. He grunted slightly and stumbled as he exited the bathroom and sat on the bed with her in his lap.

They sat in silence for almost an hour. Hermione didn't move at all as she gripped Severus' buttons tightly. She breathed in his scent and laid her head on his chest. His heartbeat was getting stronger and it was her favorite sound. 

"Are you alright?" Severus asked quietly as he kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Just keep holding me."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and back tighter as he laid back against the headboard. She closed her eyes and pushed her arms around him.

"Please don't ever let go."

"Never."

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I'm sorry that this chapter is a long time coming but it's a very personal one for me as I am currently struggling with depression and anxiety which consists of severe panic attacks.

This was a therapeutic chapter to right because I've never really explained a panic attack from my point of view before.

I would like to thank all my faithful and wonderful readers that support me and this story. This is has been a hard journey and this is my escape. I couldn't ask for anything better. I love writing for you and hearing what you have to say. Your comments make me smile, laugh, and even cry. When I started writing this, I never thought I'd get to this point. You all are so amazing and thank you!

Hopefully I won't take as long to write my next chapter. 😊