Chapter Thirty Nine

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I bit my bottom lip nervously and twirled Oakley's fingers in my hand. I was extremely nervous to finally tell Curtis what was happening. I knew I fucked up big time but I knew the consequences and what I will be doing in order to help Jada with the baby, our baby. I told Oakley not to get involved and I'll do all the talking because it was my problem and not his.

I hoped Curtis didn't react violently due to Oakley's panic attacks and asthma because I needed him to be home and not in the hospital. Oakley sent me a sweet smile and I tried to form one back but it felt fake, it felt like a thin lined smile that I never had. I didn't know if Curtis wanted to be a grandpa or liked kids. He had to tolerate me because I was his only son and I was the only thing that made my parents fall in love. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad since Curtis made me and I was a kid.

"Tate?" I snapped out of my day dream and looked at Oakley. "Curtis is here."

I turned my head and saw Curtis talking on the phone. I thought back when he was talking on the phone and he found out I had sex again. He was pissed that I cared about sex when I should care about school. It's been so long since Curtis talked on the phone. Maybe things were looking up. I used to hate when he talked on the phone when he should pay attention to me but I was really hoping he pay attention to the phone now. I could wait a few months, when the baby is born and I could tell him how I got a girl pregnant and he's a grandpa. He would most likely kick my ass for hiding a huge secret but I was scared shitless.

Curtis glanced at me and smiled. "I have to go but we will talk more tomorrow, okay? Alright, bye." He hang up the phone and placed it on the counter. He placed his hands on his hips and he small smile turned into a large one.

"Guys guess what?" I shrugged. He was going to tell me either way. I haven't seen him this happy in months and I knew something big happened to him. "I got a promotion!"

Oakley jumped out of his seat and hugged Curtis. I stayed seated because I was unbelievable excited for him because he worked his ass for that promotion yet the announcement I wanted to make could ruin his mood. Curtis hugged Oakley and pulled away, smiling at me. I flashed him a quick smile before I jumped out of my seat and attacked him in a hug. He stumbled back, surprised that I hugged him, and pressed my face to his chest. 

Was it the perfect time? Probably not. Probably. Fuck, I don't know.

I felt Curtis wrapped his arms around me and I held my breath, intoxicated by Curtis' cologne. It was the first time in months that I could recognize everything about my dad.

"I got a girl pregnant," I said quietly. I waited for him to push me away, I waited for the anger, the disgust, I waited for "how would your mother feel...", I waited for every horrible scenario that ran in my head.

But it never came.

Curtis sighed, his heart pounding a bit faster, and his arms squeezing around my body. "I knew this day would come," he murmured. He leaned his chin on top of my head and another sigh left his lips. "We got this. Don't you worry, Tate."

At that moment, I knew Curtis would go through Hell and back for me. Sure, he wasn't there for me when mom died, but he was trying to make up all that time to be with me for my dumbass mistake. I felt a little guilty, shocker I know, that I ruined Curtis' mood.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Then he pulled away.

He looked me straight in the eyes and in his blue eyes held a small fire. Oh god, he was angry that he was going to be a grandpa. At least we had Jada's father to be the grandpa if Curtis didn't want to be one. "Don't you ever tell me you're sorry. Don't you fucking—" he stopped in mid sentence and stared.

I stared back and a rush of emotions held in his eyes that it was hard for me to explain. Why shouldn't I say sorry? It was my fault, my mistake that I got a girl pregnant when he warned me. I should had listened to him. "I'm so—"

Curtis pulled me a bone crushing hug and cried. I was puzzled, astonished that my own father was crying but I didn't know why. He only cried like this when mother died but nobody was dying, at least, not yet. Was he crying because he was going to be a grandpa? Was he crying about the promotion? I didn't understand my own dad and I was supposed to understand him.

"Dad," I said softly. "What's wrong?"

"Your mother always wanted a grandchild," he cried and let out a shaky breath. "She loves babies after she gave birth to you. She would always cry in happiness whenever we looked through your baby pictures." "Oh." Maybe I didn't understand what my father was feeling but I knew one thing: he missed her so fucking much. I missed her too. There's not a day where I don't think about her. I glanced at Oakley and his eyes were bloodshot. It clearly was an emotional father and son scene. I would cry if it wasn't the fact that Curtis didn't give me his usual remark, "I told you so." and kick me out of the house. He pulled away and wiped his eyes, chuckling afterwards. "So, how long is she?"

I shrugged, ignoring my warm shirt that was stained with tears. "I don't know but we already named the baby."

Curtis' eyebrows shot up. "Oh. Wow. What is it?"

A small smiled creep on my face. "Devon Mica Agee Tolan."

Curtis' eyebrows scrunched together, a thoughtful look on his face. I was hoping he would like the name since he would be taking care of his grandchild. Oakley looked pleased with the name, a smile etched on his face. I absolutely loved it and I hoped my soon to be child would love it too. It was difficult decision because I wanted my mother's name but if I ever have another child, most likely have to adopt, I won't hesitant to name them. "I like it," Curtis said and smiled.

~~~~~

Oakley and I were snuggling  on the coach while Curtis slept in his bedroom. Oakley was sleeping on y chest, his arms wrapped around my waist. I looked over his shoulder and saw that the sky was pitch black yet the snow fell slowly on the ground. I wondered how mom was. Was God taking care of her? Did she think about me everyday? I think about her everyday and every night, not letting Oakley or Curtis know. Curtis probably thinks about mom.

I moved my eyes away from the sky and looked at a peaceful Oakley. I didn't ever want to know how it felt to lose the love of your life. I didn't want to lose anymore people because they were all I got. Curtis, Oakley, Aggie, and now Jada, they were the only ones who making me stand tall and mighty. No more suicidal thoughts, no more craving for sex, and no more alcohol.

Just my family and I against the world.

"I love you," I whispered in Oakley's ear. Oakley made a hum sound and shifted in my arms. It was a simple gesture to show that he heard me and that he loved me back.

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