Chapter Forty Three {FIN}

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~EighT Years Later~

Don't be surprised.

I didn't have suicidal thoughts after what happened eight years ago.

I didn't go back to Rider's Journey.

I didn't see Mom, Mica, and Oakley when I was home alone while Grant was out or when I was in the cemetery to place flowers on their gravestones.

Don't be too surprised, I should have said.

Life was treating me somewhat good. Jada had our baby and we named the baby Zainee Mica...I knew the name would be too long for the baby but we couldn't help ourselves. Jada found herself a boyfriend couple of months ago and they were happier than ever. But Jada still wanted me to be around Zainee and I couldn't leave the little dork. He had a toothy grin, shaggy brown hair, and beautiful green eyes, just like me and his grandmother. He would loved his grandmother. Jada was kind of sad that he looked more like me but I told her once he grows up more, he'll have her smile (he already does but she doesn't see it.)

Jada's boyfriend didn't like me at first but I told him that if he wants to be a dumbass for being angry at me then he wasn't worth being with Jada. He never crossed me ever again. Curtis would sometimes visit Zainee because after his promotion, he worked long hours that dealt with more people and trying to make deals for the customers. I didn't care as long as he was taking care of himself and that he ate the chocolate cupcakes that I gave him. Later on, I found out that he gave the chocolate cupcakes to Zainee and kept the notes I gave him on his desk. I didn't know if I should be angry at him for giving away the chocolate cupcakes or cry in happiness that he was keeping the small notes that I sent him.

I didn't take him as the emotional collective type of father. Hell, I didn't expect myself to be a father, and I was doing a damn job so far. I turned on my phone and noticed that Aggie and Grant sent me a couple of texts. Aggie and Grant never got together even if the chemistry was there. Aggie was too stubborn and she didn't like the idea of dating our high school enemy. Grant tried getting her to like him but he knew that she wouldn't change her mind and tried to move on. But behind closed doors, they were somewhat in love with each other. I didn't know how but I knew that one day Aggie would leave things in the past and try to see that Grant wasn't completely Grant.

Grant was out of juvenile detention center and he had to start fresh. I took him under my wing of course. His high school friends didn't visit him when he was in the center nor did they try to trace him when he got out. Like I said, I was the only friend he got.

Grant and I worked for my dad's friend, a mechanic and heavy paper work about cars and sales. We didn't exactly like it but it made our life a bit easier in New York since our landlord decided to raise our rent. We weren't in debt. Actually, we could pay for three months rent and we would still in our middle sized apartment. Sometimes I thought of Mica living with me but I had to remember that Mica was gone. I tried to respond to Aggie and Grant's text messages but I found myself shaking my head and turning my phone off. The two love birds were asking about each other yet they (or should I say Aggie) didn't want to date. They were acting like they were in middle school, afraid to tell each other how they felt about each other. I almost envied them. They found each other while my boyfriend was six feet under next to his mother.

I held the cup tightly and took a few sips, looking out the window. I needed my daily coffee or I would snap at Grant for no reason. It was so bad that I made Grant cried. I noticed that my suicidal thoughts were gone but my temper was underneath, wanting to get out sometimes. I stopped going to the help centers after Oakley dies but I thought about going back for myself and Grant. I didn't need Grant crying again when all he did was drop a plate—accidentally. I remembered when he almost left and flashes of Oakley leaving me appeared in my mind. I was being a selfish jerk but I didn't want to be alone nor someone to leave me. I ended up crying myself to sleep mumbling Oakley and saying sorry to Grant. We never talked about it again. I licked my bottom lips when I taste the sweet French vanilla stained my lips.

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