Once You Go Hood.....

Chapter 34: Letting Go (Filler)

This is real short but important for me to transition into what I'm tryna do. Um, the song on the side is MY SONG! lol But I felt like it was perfect for this chapter for some reason. Anyways, enjoy! Comment, Vote, Follow. Alladat! -Rae<3

-Kyra-

I held on to Dre's arm as we walked through the shops at Columbus Circle. We had touched down in NYC earlier today and I couldn't wait to go shopping. He carried my shopping bags like a gentleman as I coached him for his interview tomorrow.

"Make sure you pronunciate your words correctly. Nobody's gonna pay you to sound ratchet while endorsing their product." I said. He nodded as he listened.

"Oo, and also make sure you don't let the makeup artist put too much on you. It'll make you look pale on camera and your skin is too pretty for that." I said. He chuckled looking down at me.

"You know, you should really look into being a publicist. You're good at this kinda shit." he said. I shrugged.

"Ion know if I can be a 'behind the scenes' kinda girl. I'm diggin the spotlight too much. The money is in the spotlight." I replied. He sighed

"Lord, is that really all that's on your mind? Money is not that important." he replied.

"What else is there to look forward to tho, Dre? I don't have much else but my money." I said being honest. I had nothing else in my life that mattered to me. I virtually had no family at this point, Mia and Asia were hanging by a thread, and a love life was totally out of the question.. Although sometimes late at night, all I want is to be held by somebody who loves me. But then I chalk it up to just bein horny.

"You got me." he said, stopping us as he turned to wards me. He placed his hands on my arms and looked deep into my eyes.

"I know I made some mistakes and so did you, but me and you got this connection. And whether we be just friends or in a relationship, it doesn't matter, I'll always have your back. I'll always be there to make you happy, give you a reason to smile. I'm never goin nowhere. But I'm also gon be the one to tell you that you better than this heartless person you've become. Kyra the only reason you so emotionless right now is because it's convenient. You can tell yourself you don't want love and you don't need your family all you want to but I know you better than that. It's killin you right now not bein able to talk to your dad and you know it. Stop actin tough and stop runnin from your prblems. We grown now, Kyra. It's time to deal with our shit." he said.

I felt like he had just bursted my bubble. Maybe it was killin me that I wasn't on speaking terms with my dad right now, but regardless of that, what he did was WRONG. How in the fuck could he get married and start a family with a bitch I don't even know? And yeah, I was disrespectful, but so what? How the fuck was I supposed to react? I mean Dre was right. I know that at some point, I'ma have to be woman enough to deal with James and be civil with the bitch, but at the same time, she not about to just bum-rush her way into my life. And as far as the love part.... honestly, and I know I might sound stupid right now... but,  I'm startin to like Dre again. He's still my first love. He's still that cool nigguh with the curly hair, the hazel eyes and the high IQ that I fell in love with. It's just that now, he's grown and successful. Although, I always knew he would be. But even after all that, Dre was just consistent as a mutherfucker. Other than that Nicole bullshit, Dre was easy to be with, easy to figure out. I mean when I broke up with Dre, I was under bitch ass RJ's spell. I was so wrapped up in exploring my sexuality that I ended up hurting Dre, the only nigguh that ever really loved me the right way. Knowing what I know now, I'da never broke up with him if I knew it then. I guess a part of me was kinda hoping we could pick up where we had left off... Which really was still the beginning. We never really had a fair chance, after all.

"I know. And the first thing I wanna deal with is us, Dre." I said. He furrowed his eyebrows before he repied.

"What about us?"

*

-RJ-

I sat in my cell staring at the toilet in the corner. Jail was no fuckin joke, my nigguh. I hated this shit every fuckin day. My sentence was pretty short but just these few weeks so far felt like years. I ended up gettin 6 months in jail and then another 6 months of probation with court-ordered anger managements classes, twice a week. I really felt like this shit was mad unnecessary. If Sire wasn't such a bitch ass nigguh and not pressed charges, I would be wining and dining Kyra right now. I shook my head just thinkin about her and how I'd fucked up. I told myself the day I stepped off the prison bus that I would try and forget about her but I just can't. I lay awake at night tryin to imagine what our life together woulda been like had I not gotten locked up. My music was about to blow up, she was doin her thing, gettin her career and shit together. We woulda been the next Beyonce and Jay-Z. But life got a way of ruinin shit completely when you least expect it.

Life in jail wasn't too bad. I mean my dad had connects in jail so I still remained sorta higher up on the chain of command but you still can't trust none of these muvfuckas. Nigguhs will shank you in yo sleep and not give 1 fuck. But I guess it was the same way in the streets. Nigguhs will blast yo ass away in broad daylight and not give a fuck. So it was the same shit, just a different situation. I thought about just keepin my ass in solitary confinement the entire time but, I ain't no bitch nigguh. If a nigguh really wanna run up on me and try some shit, he can. Just as long as he know he gon die at that very moment. The food is trife and if the showers wasn't mandatory I'd never go in there. I'm a pretty nigguh so you know them fags always wanna test me but I ain't NEVER down with that shit. So I wash my ass and get the fuck out. I smoke cigs every now and then, work out when I can. I mostly keep to myself, I ain't in this muvfucka to make friends. I'm just here to do my time and be done.

Overall, I was okay. Just countin my days and thinkin about what the fuck I'ma do when I get out. I keep in touch with Frank. By some kinda miracle, he got me a record deal lined up for when I get outta here but I gotta find a differnet producer to work with me becuz of course, Sire ain't finna do shit for me now. But it's all good. I found out I broke that nigguh's nose and now he whistles when he breathes. I got weak as fuck when I heard that shit. Pussy ass nigguh. I also heard that Kyra is really makin a name for herself. She a model now. I even got my hands on a magazine that she was featured in. I kept it under my pillow so wouldn't none of these nigguhs be jerkin off to her picture and shit. She looked beautiful. I was proud of her. I missed her. I love her. But I know that at this point, she not even thinkin bout me. So when I get out, I'ma go bout my business and leave her alone. It's gon take some miracle of God to make us happen now. 

I'ma stop lovin her... eventually.