Ouchie! (Wade Wilson)

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It was a cold night as you lay snuggled up with your pillows in your bed, kicking the blanket off of your body. 
You were trying to fall asleep for hours now.

As an attempt to relax, you rubbed your cheek on your pillow. 
And may or may not thinking about someone... in a special situation...

"Peter... oh, Peter..." you whispered while smiling, hiding your face in your pillow.

Tap.

Frowning, you buried your face deeper into your pillow.
You were on the brink of falling asleep, dammit!

Tap.

Slowly, you were drifting off again and-

Tap.

"(y-----/n-----)! Come on, wake up! I need your help!"

TapTapTap.

"If I'm pretending I'm not here, he'll go away." you whispered while suppressing a groan.

TapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTapTap.

"Ugh. (y/n)! Stop having sex dreams!"

Your bloodshot eyes cracked open, one of them almost starting to twitch.

Turning red, you stood up and walked towards your closed window.
Putting the curtains aside, your revealed... your worst nightmare.
Come one. Your bedroom was on the second floor.

There he was, sitting in the tree that was right in front of your window. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. 
He tapped on your window again, mouthing "Open!" and waving at you.

The full moon was shining in the dark night sky as you opened your window for him.
"What the fuck, Wade?!" you screamed at him furiously, crossing arms as cold wind brushed your skin. "Are you out of your mind?!"
"Totally." Wade Wilson aka Deadpool aka friend for several years now smiled at you. "But pssst! Don't be so loud! He could be everywhere!"

And there it started.

Your hair was tousled, your left eye was twitching and your mouth was twisting.
And worst of all, he had woken you up from the coolest almost-dream ever.
You definitely had crazy eyes.

"What are you talking about? Fuck, Wade, I was sleeping!" you glared at him, leaning out of your window towards him, almost shaking.
"Psst!" he gasped and looked around fearfully. "He could hear you!"
Now your other eye started twitching, too.

Mentally facepalming yourself, you took a deep breath. 
The sooner you could get him to talk and leave, the sooner you could go back to dreamland.

"Okay, Wade." you said more quietly, trying to keep your cool. "Why are you here?"

Wade started to laugh. "Weeeell, that's a funny story, y'know..."  
He leaned back against a bough while talking, which cracked under his weight.
To be honest, he almost seemed... sheepish.

You raised your eyebrows. "Okay, Merc with the Mouth, you scare me. What happened?"
Avoiding your gaze, he scratched the back of his head. "I might have pranked Parker."

Oh, god.

Narrowing your eyes, you leaned closer to him, making him gulp and back away from you. "What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do?"
"Can't I just come in and hide?" he asked and put his hands on his masked face.
"No!" you cried and closed your window aggressively, closing the curtains again. He made a pretty good puppy eyes impression before he vanished behind it.

"(y/n)! Don't be that way! You have to help me!" you heard him shouting.
Taking a seat on your bed, you crossed your arms. "Go away!"
"(y------/n----)! Come on!"
You rolled your eyes as he faked crying noises.

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