Spyder and The Avengers

Chapter 32 - Alien Hammer God, Ninja Lady, & Capsicle

Turns out, it wasn't just... one. Apparently, they had decided to help me along by making this trial shorter. After all, what kind of (possibly) future Avenger is lazy and wishful?

Which is why there were three instead of one.

These three were Thor, Black Widow, and Captain America.

Crap.

I eyed them carefully. As of right now, Agent Romanoff seemed the most... prepared. She looked me up and down and up again, probably going over hand-to-hand combat strategies in her head.

Hands down, Mr. Rogers was the least excited to be here. He refused to look at me, and instead glanced at the walls, studying them as if they were the most interesting walls in the world. He tapped his foot nervously, fingering his shield.

But Thor, though, looked suspicious. He gripped his hammer at his side like he was about to hurl it at me. I noticed that his knuckles were white. Even gods got nervous sometimes, I guess.

Without warning, Widow rushed towards me and swept her hand towards my leg. Time seemed to slow down. I predicted that she'd trip me with her hand and then -somehow- knock me out. I wasn't about to go down without a fight, though.

I grabbed her hand and, using her momentum, I flipped her over on her back. Time sped back up.

I heard her breath leave her lungs in a whoosh as she massaged her wrist. I webbed her to the floor and, turning to the others, said, "Now, who's next?"

Captain America finally looked at me. "Well, if I have to," he said uncomfortably. "Thor, when you're up, play fair. Wait for me to... wait for something to happen."

Thor swung his hammer menacingly. "If you say so, Captain of America. I shall wait for Man of Spider's sister to be... something."

Just as Steve was about to take action, an iron-hard hand gripped my neck and raised me off the ground. I felt it tightening around my throat, slowly but surely suffocating me.

The hand whipped me around and I was facing its owner, Black Widow.

"Second time's the charm, right?" She said sarcastically, squeezing my neck until black spots danced before my eyes.

"Hey," Cap jutted in. "I really hate to interrupt your, uh, 'girl talk,' but you aren't playing fair, Ms. Romanoff. If you could please be so kind as to let the lady down and gather her bearings, then attacking her, that would be much more... suitable."

A true gentleman.

Natasha narrowed her eyes, but gradually lessened her grip.

I wriggled out of her grasp and fell to the floor, gasping for air. I don't know where that woman had trained, but she was beyond excellent at squeezing the life out of people.

After a blissful moment of recovery, I hastily scrambled to my feet. I didn't want anyone to think I was some sort of weak, little coward.

Black Widow looked up from cleaning her nail with a particularly wicked-looking knife. She allowed herself a tiny, Mona-Lisa-style grin. "Here goes, then. Good luck, because you're going to need it."

She steeled herself and sprinted towards me. I braced myself... Only to find that the impact never even came.

Instead, I heard a distinct metal-on-skin sound. But where had it come from, and why?

I cracked open an eye and spotted an unconscious Agent Romanoff sprawled on the floor, Captain America's shield lying next to her head.

Feeling a strange mix of confusion and elation, I snapped my head over to look at Steve and Thor, to see if they were going to, you know, attack me or something.

Another day in the crazy life of Pepper Parker...

They were awkwardly trying to do a fist-bump, and failing.

"I don't understand modern society," said Cap, slapping his hand against Thor's. "No, that wasn't it. Tony showed me this once, but I completely forgot how to do it."

"Mortal Earthling customs are so interesting," Thor said, laughing as he nearly punched Cap in the face. "They never cease to amaze me."

Oh, man.

"Here," I said, gently readjusting their hands and making them do a slow-mo fist-bump. "That's how you do it."

Cap glanced over at Widow, who was still out cold. "We should get her to say it now. She may wake up soon. Come on, Thor."

He crept over and slipped a miniscule black device from his pocket. Thor stood behind, watching with an obvious fascination. The small contraption grew eight needle-like legs and skittered onto her face. Using four of its legs to hold open her mouth, it began to glow.

I looked away, with a feeling that this was going to get very disturbing, very quickly.

"No, it's okay," Captain America whispered, his voice drawing me back. "This process amazes me every time."

I watched as the light thinned out into a laser-like beam. Somehow, this laser bounced around her mouth, reflecting every surface perfectly.

Like the Widow had a diamond in her mouth.

Suddenly, the device beeped. "ORGANISM RECOGNIZED," it said, a voice not unlike that of Peter's, but slightly more... mechanical. "NAT-NAT VOICE, READY TO COMMENCE."

Here, Thor touched a corner of his hammer to the center of the spider-like contraption. He grinned as he pulled it away.

"Fury," the mechanism stated, in a perfect impression of Widow. "She passed."

Then, it rotated, releasing its legs from her face, and jumped onto her wrist. All of its legs fused together in a way that would have made Tesla jealous. This new "spike" drilled into Romanoff's bracelet. After a few minutes of clicking and whirring, the bracelet glowed and she disappeared from sight.

The now-lifeless device fell to the ground. The Captain quickly picked it up and placed it in his pocket.

"Peter invented that himself," he said, patting his pocket. "But here is the question, Spyder. Do you want to fight, which neither of us will enjoy, or do you want us to pass you now?"

Holy smokes.

My eyes widened under my mask, a surge of ecstasy flashing through me. "Y-you would do that?"

He smiled, nudging Thor. In usion, they said, "Fury, we pass her."

As their bracelets shined like miniature lanterns, Steve and Thor faded from sight.

"Now," boomed Fury from the loudspeakers. "Your fourth will be... challenging. So good luck, because he may be the hardest of all."

Then, I heard a little beep, like something electronical was turning on. Or off. Or something.

There was some scuffling I heard as he whipped around. "What happened out there?" He spat, probably to Captain America and Thor. "How did a teen manage to take out the Avenger's most skilled assassin?"

I snickered. "Fury," I yelled. "You forgot to turn the mike off!"

"No, actually, I didn't," he said. "That's just you being you. Let the next test begin!"

Wait, I thought. I could hear through walls?

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<·<Pepper_B_Parker*Alias:_Spyder*Position:_S.H.I.E.L.D._agent>·>

You bet I can!

And it's come in very handy quite a few times...

Curious?

Another story for another day.