Spyder and The Avengers

Prologue

Superpowers? The Avengers Initiative? Real-life battles where your opponent's sole goal is to take you down? Saving the stinking world?

Ha! No big deal, especially not for the incredible, amazing, and utterly FANTASTIC Spyder!

Not.

WAY big deal! Seriously, it is. Don't believe me? Well, you should, 'cause...

Oh, geez.

Mmmaybe I should back up a bit. I'm not quite sure that any of you out there reading my, ahem, classified and top-secret S.H.I.E.L.D. file are ready for all this.

May I suggest getting up, right this instant, and leaving?

I'm sorry, was that rude? Yeah?

Good.

But don't leave, actually. Why? 'Cause that was just a little joke of mine.

Did you find it at all funny?

Oh. Uhm, well, anyways...

Welcome to my little mini-bio (and for the uneducated reader, that means full-blown, no-detail-spared biography of me-your new favorite Spidey!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note from Director Fury:

ALL YOU SCOUNDRELS READING THIS, GET LOST! THAT MEANS YOU, TONY. THIS IS A PRIVATE S.H.I.E.L.D. FILE THAT IS VERY... PRIVATE! I WILL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF FIVE, AND ALL OF YOU HOODLUMS BETTER BE LONG GONE, YOU HEAR ME?

ONE.

TWO.

FIVE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note from

[glitch]

[GliTcH]

[automatic reboot initiating...]

[program "Snazzypants" successfully installed]

<Welcome back, sir.>

<<request successful>>

Note from Mr. Ultra-Supreme-Supercool-Master-of-the-Universe:

Ah. It was so easy to hack that flimsy excuse for a firewall. I just love these old-school S.H.I.E.L.D. computers, don't you?

So, um, what am I doing here again? Right. So, this "Spyder" is one helluva character, let me tell you. Kind of reminds me of the old web-slinger himself.

<There appears to be a fault in your logic. You see, sir, Pepper Parker is actually----

<<FRIDAY override successful>>

Aw, shut it, Fri. They'll figure it out for themselves.

Oh, and by the way: Fury's gonna get it. Don't worry about that.

BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

Peace out.

<Goodbye, Mr. Stark.>

<<uploading file "Über-Embarassing Fury Bathing Suit Pix" to all known sites>>

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[~]

[program "Snazzypants" fail]

[glitchGLITCHglitchglitchGLIIIIIII-

[automatic reboot initiating...]

[S.H.I.E.L.D. computer now secure]

[]

[]

[~]

OR IS IT?!