Royals: Next Generation

Chapter 29

Loriana POV

You know how you get that uneasy feeling in your stomach when you know something is wrong? Well that's how I feel. Im not really sure but my instincts are usually right.

"Hello Loriana. It's very nice to meet you. I am Dr. Banks." I shook hands with my therapist.

"Nice to meet you too." I said, shyly. I don't like new and unfamiliar situations. I tend to just shut down.

"Well from what your parents have told me, you are in the process of coping with the death of your cousin Ace." He said and I nodded slowly.

"Yes that is correct." I played with my nails to distract myself from how nervous I really was.

"Alright. Do you mind explaining to me your relationship with Ace?"

"Uhm..." I hesitated. "He was more like a big brother. All of my childhood memories include him and we've always been together. We planned our life together and it hit me hard when he died because it was so unexpected. It's true when people say that tomorrow is never guaranteed." I said, looking down at my flip flops. My heart is beating fast at the thought of Ace.

"Thank you for sharing Loriana. Now, I've dealt with a lot of people who have...different ways of coping. How have you been coping with the lose of your cousin?" He asked. I scratched my wrist without thinking but quickly caught myself.

"I'm doing fine. I just take it one day at a time." I lied then smiled.

"Please be truthful." He said, seeing through my front.

I sighed and felt the tears build up before they silently fell down my cheek. I don't like feeling like this right now and this is why I don't share my problems.

"In the beginning, I wouldn't leave my room unless it was for school. I didn't eat...maybe an apple or something but that would be it for the day. I blocked everybody out and didn't talk to anybody. On the weekends I'll go to sleep on time but wake up at like 2 in the afternoon. Uh...I...Uhm." I stuttered. I grabbed a tissue and cleaned up my tears.

"You're doing great Loriana. Continue, please." Dr. Banks requested.

"Uhm. I would go into my bathroom and grab a razor and I would cut myself. I would cut myself and let myself bleed out until my arm gets numb and then I patch myself up. It distracted me from my emotional pain momentarily." I shrugged. I frowned and looked down at my wrist. What's wrong with me?

"Self harm is a serious problem and is something that people can't control mentally. It can easily become an addiction and you can even hospitalize yourself. When was the last time you cut yourself Loriana?" He asked. I but my bottom lip and looked up to the ceiling.

"Last week Thursday." I mumbled. I looked at the therapist as he wrote things down in his notepad.

"This is obviously a serious situation and I think that this is something not to be kept a secret. I would like to meet with you at least one day a week. I want to give you a little assignment, is that ok?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"I want you to tell at least one person that you love about your depression and self harm." He said.

I sat silent for a second, thinking about who I could tell. Everyone in my family will just be devastated and look at me weirdly. I'm already different than all of them, now I'll really be the black sheep. I'm gonna look like as if I'm crying for attention when I'm really not.

"Ok Dr. Banks. I'll try my best."

...

"Babe I like these." I said, showing Rodney the purple suede red bottoms on my feet.