Rebirth

Chapter 41: Journey

To no surprise, the guild was in horror when I came back. Among them, Richard and Michael were by Cynthia. All eyes locked on me, my wounds all apparent, and Jocelynn's corpse in my arms. I fell to my knees, breathing heavy, and breaking down again. I wept, for how long I couldn't say, but from what Cynthia told me, it was hours. Michael took the news pretty hard. Richard and Cynthia gave him comfort all night. Zhaniah was the last to find out, and she felt nothing but sorrow. Everyone could see it in her eyes.

Garlos, giving his apologies to me, quietly cursed Beowulf when he thought no one was listening. I always did. Not by choice, but I felt a void envelop me as time went on. Loneliness was a terrible acquaintance I've had before, and it was nothing new to me, but when the realization arrived the week after, I began taking things in more than normal. It could've been a result from the magic I gained from Jocelynn, letting my senses develop more than they had before. My eyes certainly seemed sharper, and my sense of taste and smell increased quite a bit.

We held a ceremony at the guild earlier this week. Not one word. No sounds, aside from Zhaniah offering a gentle song to send her soul off peacefully. They came to me, asking if I prefered cremation or being buried. It was a hard choice, but in my head, I had the feeling she'd rather be cremated.

The flames went up, my eyes gazing at her gentle face one more time, before the fire licked and consumed her. The guild began filing out afterwards. Not me. I stayed, watching the flames as they raged. Even though I didn't look their way, Zhaniah and Richard were waiting for me, ready to race by my side incase I broke down again.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, unconsciously increasing the heat and size of the fire, and when I exhaled, the flames died, with nothing but ashes from their remains. I knelt, scooping them up and placing them in a vase, then turned to the Queen of Wolves and King of the people. I gave a weak smile, and walked past them, head low, not saying a single word for fear that my voice would choke and tears would flow. I made my way inside the guild, moving towards the second floor, and into my room. By the window, I placed the vase, and sat quietly, my thoughts lost in the void of my mind.

I hadn't realized I fell asleep. I awoke to a few shakes, my eyes fluttering and blurry. At first I thought it was Beowulf, come to apologize and say it was a sick joke. No, life doesn't work that way.

Zhaniah smiled at me, placing the tray she was holding on the table nearby and sat across from me. "Thought you'd be hungry." She picked up a mug, sipping from it. "Just a sandwich and tea."

I watched her, then slowly moved my eyes down to the tray, and picked up the second mug, drinking deeply. Placing it aside, I picked up the sandwich next, taking a big bite and chewing quietly.

"You seem to be holding up pretty well.. I'd broken down again in your position."

I swallowed, taking another big bite. She watched me carefully, then kept speaking. "I heard about Beowulf.. I'm sorry. I wish I could've stopped him."
"Don't care about him." I said as I swallowed. "I'm more worried about what we're going to do now. Amaterasu and his.." I paused, shivering a moment, then kept speaking, "... His wife, said they'd leave us be for a while."

"You want to hunt them down?"

"No. I'm leaving the guild."

She jumped to her feet, mug still in her grasp. It was then I noticed she was dressed in a robe, and it seemed like she was heading for bed. "Like hell you are! You're not leaving us too!"

"Hey, easy." I said, rubbing my throat. I was strangely thirsty right now. "I'm not leaving forever. Just going away for a while."

"... Why... What are you gonna do?"