Lovesick -- A Rocky Lynch Story

Chapter 24

I couldn't fall asleep that night. All I could think about was how my first baby felt neglected, and how I was an awful mother. No one could convince me otherwise. Eventually, I dozed off, but it didn't last for long. The sun came out and I was up with it, even though it was a Sunday. I left Rocky sleeping and went to look at the task for the day. These tasks were becoming a routine for us.

I sank to the floor against the wall. "Discuss your goals for the future," I whispered to myself as I read. I skimmed the examples and sighed as I pondered the possibilities. I honestly had no idea.

Downstairs, I heard movement. The sound of footsteps crunching across the carpet, then suddenly pattering on the tile floor. A few pots clanged together and the water started to run. I got up off of the floor and quietly left the room, making my way downstairs. Sure enough, I found Ryland making himself a cup of coffee. He was wearing a tank top and his boxers. "Want some?" he asked when he caught a glimpse of me. "All you have is decaf in the house, though. Rocky must have gone through and got rid of everything."

"Yes please," I nodded with a quiet laugh. I grabbed a bagel out of the pantry and popped it into the toaster before grabbing the cream cheese and a knife for when it was finished. "What are you doing up?" I leaned against the counter and watched him tinker with the machine.

"A lot of my mind, I guess," he shrugged. His apparent exhaustion made him a lot more tame than usual. "What about you?"

My bagel popped up and I hastily grabbed it, feeling its warmth nearly singe my fingerprints off. I dropped both halves onto the counter with a gasp. "Me too," I answered. The cream cheese melted perfectly onto the bread as I spread it with my knife. I sat down at my usual spot at the table and took a bite out of my food. "Fuck," I groaned. Not even a minute ago I had burned my fingers, and now my tongue. Great.

Ryland chuckled quietly and placed a mug of coffee in front of me along with my favorite flavored cream. "What were you thinking about?" he inquired. It wasn't often that I felt I could really talk to Ryland, but his demeanor was much different. It was as if he wasn't trying to impress anyone. He was just being him, and it was a welcome change.

"You first," I shook my head. Since my tongue was already burned, I figured it didn't matter if I waited for my coffee to cool. I lifted the steaming mug to my lips and took a sip. "Mmmm," I sighed.

He took a seat across from me and studied the mug in front of him. "Honestly," he started. Then he looked up at me and I saw something I hadn't seen in a long time: sincerity. "I was thinking about Karlee..." It looked like he was hesitating, thinking of whether or not he should say any more. "She makes me want to be a better man, Jules."

I was taken aback. "That sounds pretty serious," I responded quietly with another sip of coffee. "Even after such a short amount of time?"

"That doesn't always matter," he shrugged. "Haven't you ever gotten that gut feeling? She's so sweet. Very kind and so smart. Breathtakingly beautiful." He nearly zoned out and his words got quieter and quieter. "And she doesn't judge me. Even when everyone is trying to talk her out of liking me, exposing my skeletons for her to see. Despite everything, she's giving me a chance. I know it's too early, but... I don't want to say the 'L' word and jinx it"

"I'm really sorry, Ry."

"You don't have to apologize," he shook his head.

"No, I do," I said. "If a stranger can give you a chance, then certainly your own family should be able to. I don't mean to be selfish."

He rested his elbows on the table, then his head on top of his hands. "Thanks for the apology, sis," he said after a moment. "I hope you guys can see that I'm trying to change."