Mute Girl AU n.h

Part 26

Anna's POV

I've ruined everything, but when I tell you everything is everything.

I don't know what to do anymore. This fear. This stupid constant fear is consuming me.

It's been 4 weeks since I've last spoken to Niall. My heart feels as if it's been stabbed 50 times. My stomach has been grumbling and this depression is killing me. My mom, I'm killing my mom with her worry.

There has been days which I won't even get up to go to the bathroom, there has been days in which I would feel angry, other days I'd feel betrayed, and there are days in which I would not feel anything.

I'm selfish. I'm stupid. I'm an idiot. I'm worthless.

My mom deserves a daughter who instead of worry would bring her happiness. She deserves a daughter who would come home from school and tell her how her day went, how her boyfriend and her had a fight and how are girls being bratty bitches towards her.

My Niall. My beautiful and perfect Niall. He deserves the world, he deserves someone who would come up to him and make him laugh. He deserves someone who is there to comfort him whenever he needs it. He deserves someone who would give him advice whenever he is sad. He deserves a girlfriend who would fight with him and end up cuddling while apologizing for the words thrown at each other. He deserves to be with Simone who would never get tired of telling him how much she loves him.

In other words, he doesn't deserve me.

Remember that I said that they were days which I would feel betrayed. I felt betrayed with the fact that he hasn't even tried to ask my mom if I was alright. He just forgot about me. He just stopped caring.

Now, do I blame him? Of corse not. Never.

I just. I wonder if he is thinking about me. It's been a little more than a month. He has so forgotten about me. Do I blame him? No. Never.

He even has stopped sleeping in his own room, but I helped his problem and closed the curtains. I haven't opened them in more than two weeks. It probably smells as if someone died in here, but let's be real,

I'm pretty much near dead.

Niall's POV

"Niall, you have to stop mopping in this room. It has been weeks son, go out at least to the patio." My mom says.

I got up and left the house. I obeyed because I needed silence, I really needed to be alone. I haven't felt like this in my whole life.

I feel so useless so - "Niall?" I turn around to meet the voice. It was Anna's mom. She has huge bags under her eyes.

I get closer to her. "Hi Sarah, how are you?" I ask. I really don't want to talk, but I want to know how is she.

"I've been better, we've been better." She shrugs. I notice that she has some groceries. "Do you need help?" I ask as I point to some of the bags left in the cars trunk.

"Sure, why not?" She says. I make my way towards Sarah's car.

Will Anna be in the living room when I get in there? Is she even home?

"Leave them here son, thanks." I can't help but notice how tired she looks.

"I'm noticing that you've been getting quieter. I think you've spent too much time with her." She tries to joke, but the fact that her joke is a lie hurts me. I haven't been near her for like a month. She even keeps her curtains close so I won't look at her.

"She is not good Niall, not even close, I'm trying so hard for her to move on and to keep her mind busy, but she won't budge." Sarah says with tears threatening to spill her eyes.

"Can I go and talk to her?" I Ask. I don't know if I will be able to talk to her, but I have to see her at least.

When Sarah approves I head my way upstairs. I didn't bother to knock, so when I open the door I want to cry, I want to scream bloody murder at my sight. This is not my baby. This is not my girlfriend. My girlfriend is all smiles and giggles, my girlfriend would be sitting near her window while she reads her favorite boom for the 100th time.

The girl in front of me looks dead. Her skin is white as snow, her eyes dead, open, watery, but dead. She feels someone staring at her and turns her head to look at me. I stood there looking at her while she looks at me. Non of us say anything. Not that I'm surprised.

"I miss you." I whisper. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

She sat up and went up to me. As soon as she was just one foot away from me I couldn't believe what my ears heard.

"I love you."