You see the shitty part of having shitty luck, is that, there isn't a pause where suddenly your luck changes and things aren't so bad anymore. Its just always shitty. Like how I ended up with shitty tumor inside my brain and now I live permanently in a shitty hospital.
There was a moment where i thought, maybe it's not so bad after all. I mean, I was finally friends with Kyle Lowe. But look at what a shitty station that turned into. Now here I was, laying in my shitty hospital bed, waiting for my mom to bring me some shitty food that I most likely won't eat. Then proceed to sit in silence as my mom reads a shitty book and my dad watches a football game on the shitty hospital tv.
"Im going for a walk" I mumbled most likely incoherently to my mom who has sat quietly on the couch playing solitary on her phone.
"Okay, just don't be gone long" she explained. I rolled my eyes before making my way out of the hospital room and down a random hallway. No one really bothered to pay attention to me, they just passed me without a second glance. I turned a corner and found myself walking down a hallway that had a mural painted on the wall. It was colorful and I couldn't really make out what it was. But I couldn't stop staring at it.
"Pretty cool huh" I heard a voice say next to me causing me to jump.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you" the boy smiled, "I'm Edwin" he said as he held out his hand to shake.
"I'm Bryn" I said awkwardly shaking his hand. He was only a few inches taller than me, probably about the same age, he had short brown hair and a scar that went from his left temple, to his right cheek.
"What happened to your face" I asked rather bluntly.
"I get that a lot" he laughed causing me to smile a little bit.
"I'm actually 100% blind in this eye" he said pointing to his left eye, "Obviously I still have one but it just doesn't work" he added. But I realized that didn't really answer my question.
"How'd it happen" I asked.
"Come on" he said as he nodded his head towards the end of the hall. We began walking together as he explained to me that he had been in a car accident when he was 10 where he was thrown through the windshield.
"And the only damage was that you're blind in your left eye" I asked figuring it would cause something much worse.
"It also shattered my right leg, leaving it pretty much useless" he added, "Thats why I have this" he explained as he pulled up his pants slightly to reveal a prosthetic leg.
"Why are you still in the hospital?" I asked. Even with being half blind and had a prosthetic leg that doesn't really require you to stay in the hospital. Especially 6 or so years after it happened.
"It just so happens I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis 9 months ago" he smiles.
"Why are you smiling about that ?" I asked knowing that wasn't really something to be happy about.
"Because what's the point in being pissed at the world" he shrugged.
"Hey Edwin" a girl with long brown hair popped out of no where. I hadn't even realized where we had been walking. We were definitely in some part of the hospital where all the teenagers were located because that's all I could see.
"Where are we" I asked looking around.
"We're in the permanent residence part of the hospital" he explained, "The place where everyone with the shittiest luck stays"
"Why isn't my room over here" I asked.
"What's your disease" He asked.
"Incurable brain cancer ?" I half asked and half shrugged.
"Maybe you're just to pretty to be near all of these sick people" he smiled.
"Did you just hit on me ?" I asked with a smirk.
"You're reading to much into it" he dismissed with a laugh before continuing to walk.
"So what made you start to wonder the halls of this enchanted castle" he joked and just like that I was back to thinking about Kyle. I was also thinking about Taco Bell, but that's only because I'm hungry.
"Stupid people" I shrugged not wanting to really dump my life story onto a random kid I had just met.
"The worlds full of em" he smiled. I nodded in agreement before being led over to a group of people who were currently arguing over who won in just dance 3.
***
"How was your walk" my mom asked when I had finally reached my room well over 3 hours later.
"I want to be moved to the permanent residence area" I explained.
"Why?" My mom asked confused.
"Because they're people my age, who are dealing with a disease just like me" I explained.
"Honey" My dad started.
"Just think about it okay?" I suggested. They nodded before getting up to leave considering how late it was. We exchanged I love you's and hugs before they were finally gone. I laid down in my bed as the tears formed in my eyes and made little trails as they rolled down my cheeks.
"Why are you crying" Kyle asked causing me to jolt up from my bed.
"People cry, we've been over this" I explained not even bothering to ask how he got here.
"Listen, i'm sorry i didn't stick up for you, i should have, and i'm an ass for just standing there and letting her lie to you like that" He started, "But i can't go back and change it, there isn't a rewind button on life. So can please just forgive me already" He asked with a pleading look in his eyes. I didn't know what to say, i wanted to forgive him, but part of me didn't at the same time.
"I can't" I said as i laid back down in the hospital bed. The looked of hurt that fell onto his face was enough to cause more tears to spring to my eyes.
"Why" He asked his voice coming out low.
"I can't keep saying goodbye" I explained.
"What do you mean" He asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
"When i die, i'm gonna hurt people, i'm gonna hurt a lot of people. I can't keep saying goodbye because it's too hard for me" I said as the tears poured from my eyes. My voice cracked and grew shakier and shakier as i continued to talk. He put his hands on either side of my face and looked into my eyes.
"Then don't say goodbye" He whispered. I smashed my face into his chest as my arms wrapped around his back. I let out a sob as he laid down allowing me to lean into his chest soaking up his shirt. He rubbed my back and kept telling me everything was going to be okay. But sometimes you just know when it's not.
