When i woke up i was shivering, but my stomach was warm at the same time. As i opened my eyes i was instantly met with the gray shirt of a person laying next to me. I quickly sat up only to realize that the gray shirt belonged to Kyle.
"Shit" I cursed under my breath as i got up and walked around to his side of the bed. I grabbed his stomach and pulled him towards me causing him to fall to the ground.
"What the hell?" He asked sitting up quickly. I tried to ignore the fact that his morning voice was so attractive. The way it went three octaves deeper while being slightly hoarse at the same time.
"We're late for school" I explained before walking into the bathroom and pulling on a random outfit. Realizing I had about 3 minutes left, I through my hair in a bun and brushed my teeth before heading back into my room to grab my shoes. Kyle was sitting on the bed rubbing his eyes taking is sweet time as i raced around the room like a mad women. When i found my white converse, i slid them on and grabbed Kyle by his shirt.
"Hurry up and drive" I explained.
"Does this mean-" He started.
"No it doesn't mean i changed my mind about what i said last night" I cut him off as I got into the car.
We made it to school just as second period was starting. I took my seat next to the kid that never talks and Emily turned around and looked at me.
"I slept in" I mouthed to her. She nodded and smiled before turning back around to listen to the teacher.
*****
During lunch i was sitting down eating my salad, but when i looked up i realized Kyle was walking towards me.
"Don't do it" I whispered under my breath as he took a seat right next to me. I looked at him before slamming my fork against my tray. He instantly looked at me like he was confused as to my sudden outburst. I shook my head before standing up and throwing my food away. Did he not understand how hard it was to not be his friend ? Did he not realize how hard this was for me ?
"Bryn" I heard him yell.
"Leave me alone Kyle" I growled without bothering to turn around.
"Bryn stop" He said as he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him. I crossed my arms over my chest trying to get ride of the butterflies in my stomach. I looked at the ground and then at my nails pretending to be uninterested.
"I don't know what it's like to be in your position or how it feels, and I'm not trying to say i do" He started. I looked at him suddenly interested as to where this conversation was going, "But i do understand that not being my friend is hard for you, and dealing with this cancer is hard for you, and you think that by not being my friend that it will make this friendship we have disappear. But it won't" He explained.
"You're right, it won't make it disappear and i'm not saying it will" I started, "But it will make it easier to say goodbye"
"What if you're wrong" He asked?
"What do you mean" I asked looking at him with a furrowed eyebrow.
"What if it doesn't make it easier?" He asked. I thought about the question. It seemed so logical that it would make it easier. He wouldn't be able to get that close to me, therefore when i died it wouldn't hurt him as bad. Sure it would be hard, but it would be worth it right ?
"Why are you fighting so hard to be my friend" I asked curiously as i stopped my sudden thought. He looked at me for a moment as he processed my question.
"Because i like who i am with you" He replied slowly as he stumbled over his words. That was just about the cheesiest thing i've ever heard.
"What movie did you hear that from?" I asked.
"It was a book, but it's true" He admitted. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face at how dorky that was.
"I don't think you understand how bad it's going to hurt for you" I explained to him as my smile dropped and my tone grew serious.
"Do you not think that maybe it hurts a little more to not be your friend while i still have the chance" He asked? I opened my mouth to reply but closed it. It hurt him to not be my friend ? I didn't really expect for that to happen. I mean he was Kyle Lowe. He was the quarter back. He was Mr. Big Shot at our school. He was envied by most guys, lusted over by girls, and appreciated by almost every teachers. But it hurt him to not be my friend. Me ?
"Me" I asked pointing to myself. He smirked before he nodded.
"Yeah you" He laughed.
"Is it even worth it" I asked him. The question that was ringing through my ears. It was honestly the only thing i could manage to say. Partially because i was asking myself the same question, and partially because i was curious to know.
"Your worth it" He said back instantly..
