"Because why?" He asked with a smirk as if he knew the effect he had over me. How my heart rate had increased. How i could feel the sweat forming on my palm. How I couldn't form or even think a coherent thought. All i could find myself focusing on was his lips and how badly i was craving for them to touch mine.
"Because i'm falling for you" I said staring into his eyes. Then i blinked. I literally paused and realized what i had just blurted and instantly stepped back. That wasn't supposed to happen. I pushed my hair from my face and looked at him. He was just standing there staring at me in confusion.
"I didn't mean- that's not what it- i don't -" I started to say but i couldn't finish a single thought or come up with an excuse that would even remotely begin to explain why i had just blurted that.
"Bryn" Kyle said causing me to stop fidgeting and moving, and just look at him.
"Yeah?" I said as my voice cracked.
"You're crazy" He smiled.
"I know" I admitted. And then he was in front of me. As in right in front of me. I could feel his chest against mine.
"Can i help you?" I asked staring at his chest. I could no longer bring myself to look at his face. I was embarrassed and confused and knew that my face was 5 shades darker than the average human. His fingers burned against my skin as they dipped under my chin and pulled me to make eye contact once again. I closed my eyes finding them too heavy to keep open and that's when i felt his breath fan across my face. It wasn't like i was expecting him to kiss me, but more I was hoping he would. Even though that logical part of my brain thought i was absurd for even thinking that someone like Kyle would want to kiss a girl who was dying of a cancer she couldn't even fight. But that fantasy part of my brain, that part that's fed off movies and books that always had a happy ending, still gave me hope.
But for someone reason it happened. He kissed me and i found myself unable to breath. His lips were soft like the feeling you get when you rub your lips together after applying chapstick, but instead of carmex they tasted like peppermint. It was like a kiss that wouldn't let me go. I found myself grabbing his arms to pull him closer as our lips molded together. It was warm and inviting and i couldn't comprehend how in the world i had gotten myself into this position, or why i would ever want to leave it.
But my luck only went so far as we were suddenly bombarded with water as the sprinklers turned on. I gasped pulling away, coming to my senses and remembering where i was, before being yanked off the field.
"Kyle stop" I said when we'd reached his bag.
"Are you okay" He instantly asked with worry lacing his tone.
"I'm fine" I smiled, "I'm just tired"
He looked at me and smiled. We didn't say anything, and I didn't really see a reason as to why we would have to. It was a just a kiss. Sure it was mind blowing, like the climax of your favorite book. But that didn't sign and seal a relationship between us. Our story was still a work in progress.
//
When we pulled up to the hospital I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to face Kyle not wanting to leave just yet.
"So" Kyle started.
"So" I repeated with a smile, as I bit my lip and looked at the middle console between us. Then I looked back at him, to see he was still looking at me.
"Thanks for tonight" I said meaning it probably more than he could fathom.
"It wasn't that big of a deal" he shrugged smiling back.
"Well it was to me" I admitted as I looked out the windshield. He pulled my hand towards him as he began toying with my fingers. I watched him curiously before he intertwined our fingers together and kissed my knuckles.
"I should probably get going" I said glancing towards the entrance of the hospital than back to him. I wasn't really eager to go, despite how fatigued I felt.
"Good night" he smiled.
"Good night" I repeated before he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, causing my eyes to flutter closed momentarily. It was like all these gestures he made towards me, were his way of showing me how much I meant to him. He put more emotion into them than the words that game out of his mouth.
As I walked through the entrance of the hospital smirking at the floor I realized how much I hadn't really noticed about Kyle. He was like a jaw breaker. On the outside he was average and plain. But as you peeled back the layers, you found that their was always something new underneath.
\\
"It's pretty late don't you think" I heard a familiar voice fill me ears. I looked up to my brother Zach sitting at the edge of my bed.
"Zach" I almost shouted before realizing how late it was. I charged towards him before capturing him in probably the tightest hug I've ever given.
"I take it mom told you what happened" I guessed as I sat down on the bed next to him.
"It's not like she had a choice" he said, "We kind of started to notice when you stopped coming home"
"Does Anna know?" I asked knowing she was probably too young to understand what was going on.
"Yeah" he nodded, "She doesn't really understand though, she keeps asking when you're gonna get better"
"What do you tell her?" I asked as my voice cracked.
"I don't" he admitted, "I just kind of ignore the question" he shrugged. I rested my head on his shoulder. Sure we weren't close, we didn't show that we cared about each other, and most of the time we could barely be in the same room for more than 10 minutes. But that was before I realized that those 10 minutes were all I really had.
"What exactly did mom tell you?" I asked.
"She said you have a tumor in your brain, that they cant remove" he explained as he faced me. I just nodded looking at the ground.
"Look at us" he laughed "We're acting like siblings who actually care about each other"
"Whatever" I found myself laughing along, "You've always cared about me"
"Sissy" Anna shouted causing Kyle and I to look her way. I barely had time to respond before she was running into me and crushing me in a bear hug.
"Do you want to play this game with me?" Anna asked eagerly as she pulled on my pant leg. I looked down at her a rain my fingers through one of her pig tails.
"I would love to, but i have to go to bed" I explained.
"Tomorrow" Anna asked?
"Definitely" I smiled. My mom and dad were standing near the door looking at me.
"Come on guys it's time to get going" My mom explained. I hugged them quickly before they made their way out of my room. I wished I had been able to walk out with them. Go home and climb into my bed, under the covers, and fall asleep. The thin sheets of the hospital bed, and the stiff mattress I slept on didn't really feel like home.
