The funeral was three weeks after she died. I wore the black button up that Bryn had always liked. When i got there i saw Emily and Brett dressed up in black dresses talking to Bryn's parents.
"Hey guys" I half smiled at them.
"Hey Kyle" Emily said as they reached me.
"How you guys been holding up" I asked as i glanced around the church.
"We've been better" Brett responded as she looked at the ground. I noticed some cuts on Bretts lower arm and reached out to grab it with my hand.
"If Bryn knew about this she would be so mad" I started calmly.
"I want her back" She broke as tears fell from her face. I pulled her into a hug as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I hated it. Not that Brett was crying or that i was comforting her. But because when she hugged me she didn't feel like Bryn. She was taller and it felt so foreign that i hated it.
"Hey stop that, you need to be strong, okay" I said as i pushed Brett's shoulders back to look at her. She nodded as she wiped her eyes and sniffled away her tears.
"Did you read the note" I asked randomly.
"Yeah" Emily smiled, "She got to say her goodbyes to everyone"
//
"Everyone take your seats, the ceremony is about to begin" the priest explained and we dispersed to our seats.
Through the ceremony the priest said pretty much every good thing you could say about a person you've never met. He talked about how all her friends thought she was kind. He talked about how she always had a way of bringing the people around her closer together. I caught a glance of Bryn's parents and saw that her mom was doing a lot better than when i last saw her that day at the hospital. Bryn's brother and sister were sitting next to them and they looked so lost and confused that i had to look away.
"Would anyone like to say any words" The priest asked. I looked around the room and saw that no one was standing up, so i decided i would. I stood up in the silent room of people and made my way to podium. The microphone was a little low so i had to hunch over a little bit.
"Hi, I'm Kyle Lowe, and i'm Bryn's-I was Bryn's boyfriend" I started, "And listening to what Reverend Michaels had said, it's clear that he has never once in his life spent a moment with this girl" I explained even if it might have been kind of rude, it was true.
"When you met Bryn you couldn't help but smile, she was always shy when you first met her but then you would get to know her and you'd realize just how out going she really is.
*Flashback*
"U-uhm s-sorry" she stuttered as her cheeks darkened to a cute pink color.
"It's fine, hey your name is Bryn right?" I asked hoping I got the name right.
"Mhmm" She mumbled with a nod.
"We have physics together?" I replied not knowing what else to say. What an idiot.
"Yup" She smiled, causing me to smirk at how cute it looked on her, before looking at her friend as if she couldn't wait for me to leave.
"Cool, well i'll see you around" I said awkwardly before walking away.
And she never sugar coated anything, she told you how it was, even if it hurt your feelings." I smiled to myself,
*flashback*
"You know, you kind of smell bad" Bryn smirked as she looked down at me.
"Really?" I asked with a laugh knowing she always had a way of ruining the moment in the most adorable way possible.
"Yeah, kind of like American Eagle worked out to hard and forgot to bring extra deodarant" she explained as she wrinkled her nose.
I quickly kissed her nose causing her to smile.
"Well you're a weirdo" I smiled.
"At least I don't smell bad" She laughed and she giggled too.
No one ever talks about how she snores when she sleeps, or how she hates it when people see her cry. No one talks about how she would cover her face when she laughed because she hated the way she looked, or how whenever she smiled it would always reach her eyes. They never talked about how silly she was and how much she cared for the people that were close to her. But the one thing i want for people to talk about-" i paused to clear my throat for a moment before looking out at the people sitting in the audience. I spotted Camille and almost shot her a glare but instead looked away, "I want people to remember Bryn Marie Miller as one of the strongest girls you would ever meet because damn she put up a good fight" I said before i stepped from the podium and started heading back to my seat. Apparently i was the only one gutsy enough to make a speech. Or i was just the only one that trusted themselves to talk about Bryn in front of a bunch of people without crying.
When the ceremony was over a lot of people came up to me and told me that they were sorry for my loss. It got old after awhile but i smiled and nodded as they passed.
"Kyle i am so sorry" I heard Camille say as she walked up to me. I put my hands in my pockets and looked at her with a bored expression on my face.
"I don't accept your apology" I smiled with gritted teeth before i gestured for her to continue walking. She looked at the ground and nodded before she continued walking. I saw Bryn's parents walking over to me and smiled.
"Hi Mr and Mrs. Miller" I said as i gave them each a hug.
"Hi sweetheart how are you" Her mom asked?
"I'm doing alright" I nodded.
"Thank you for that speech" I heard her brother say. I looked over at him and i wanted to just grab him and hug him, but i had barely spoken to him.
"No problem man" I said as i patted his shoulder.
"She would have loved it" Her dad explained.
"She probably would have blushed and then hit me for embarrassing her" I laughed.
"That's my girl" Mrs. Miller smiled as she looked off in the distance.
\\
When the funeral was completely over i started walking home as i kicked the leaves around the ground. It still didn't seem real. It didn't feel like she was gone. I still felt the urge to call her and go and visit her at the hospital even though I know she won't be there. Because a part of me was too I shock to believe that she was actually gone.
When i reached my house i sat down in the grass and stared up at the sky. At first i was looking at the stars but then i just stared off not really paying attention to anything in specific.
"I miss you" I whispered as a tear leaked from my eye.
