Her solace was the tears she shed in the middle of the night, when she knew there was no one to listen to her sobs or notice her wet pillow..
He found salvation in the blood that often oozed out of his hand.
When their paths meet, will the blood be...
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I step inside the graveyard. This place feels more home to me than the house, I think to myself and laugh. What a weird thing to think.
Mom, dad and Teddy are buried beside each other. The places near to them have filled up. I feel sad because I know I would never get to sleep forever with my mother's warmth.
The flowers I brought two days ago, still sit there as nice as new. The ones I brought before that haven't dried up either. The place looks crowded and I make a mental note to myself to not bring flowers for a few days, so as to not suffocate my poor dead family.
I feel cheerful today. I don't feel like crying like I usually do. I can feel my mother in here. Her smile brightens up the whole place and makes it a lot lesser. I hug myself, as the cold wind envelopes me. Teddy would want a sweater, I think to myself.
I sit down between mom's and dad's graves but do not talk. The silence is my way of apologizing for all the hurt I have put them through when they were still alive. There is a lump in my throat and I am afraid I will cry again. So I move over to sit beside Teddy's grave. It is smaller and every time I look at it, it reminds me of the young age at which he had to bid the world goodbye. He didn't live when he deserved to.
I live when I don't deserve it.
"Whats up, Ted? You annoying my mom and dad? I am sure you are annoying the crap outta them."
I can imagine him flashing his toothiest grin at me. Its contagious so a little smile appear on my emotionless face too. "Are you having fun up there? Do you have new friends? Wait, you don't have a new sister, do you? I hope not. Do you still play the piano with mom? Improve your singing, okay?"
I shower him with all kinds of questions. The same questions I ask on all my visits.
The questions I know I would never get an answer too.
But asking them makes me feel better. I sit there for almost an hour. When my feet have grown too numb, I get up to leave, bidding my quick goodbyes to the three of them.
