The Devil Who Owns Me

Chapter 20

I was lying in my bed late that evening. Alone. The empty space beside me got me to a lot of thinking. I did not even what time it was when we got home. After I saw Weston left his spot at the other side of the street, my head got messed up with unanswered prayers and questions. I remembered clutching Sebastian's shirt tightly when he waved at me leaving. My breaths came short as fear eating me inside and Sebastian took my action as response to his hand roaming around my waist caressing me roughly gentle.

I remembered getting inside his car leaving mine in the care of his driver. I remembered him drove us on the busy street of the city. I remembered sitting on his office staring off at him but not really seeing him. Like my mind was somewhere else. Like that was some kind of unreality. And I remembered arriving at home with him, walking up to my room, him, on the phone whispering harshly to someone.

Feeling a hot liquid on my forearm, I sat up trying to inspect what it was. I reached for the lamp to at least help me see through the dim light. A small stream of blood was flowing there. Red and with a metallic smell. I threw the comforter away from my body and I swung my legs at the edge of the bed setting my feet on the cold floor. I did not bother to wear my fluffy slippers and head for the bathroom. The lights automatically went on when I stepped inside. I tapped for the water to clean the blood away. It seemed I unconsciously scratch my fingernails against my sensitive thin skin. A habit my body seemed to have. The sting from the wound I had made my eyes squint a little. When the flow of blood stopped, I looked at the person staring back at me on the mirror. She had a tears flowing freely from her tired eyes. Beaten black and blue. Her lips lost the natural shade of pink and the only left now was the cherry-color on the lower corner left from the dried up blood from the cut. Her cheeks were shallow reddish and swollen. Hair was a mess worst than a bird's nest. And that was how I remembered my last day spending and enduring a real nightmare and the first day I miraculously got courage to call my parents and ask for help.

I leaned downwards and splashed my face with cold water. I looked at the mirror again and saw the present day Trisha. A business woman. A fighter, my mom said. A survivor, William said. A mother, Nick said.

I shook my head slowly getting the past out of my mind. I reached for the towel and calmly wiped my face and forearm dry. I came back to bed closing my eyes. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep to forget all of that was happening. Forget all of what I was feeling. I wanted to sleep because they say that when you are asleep, you feel nothing, not even hunger. Just nothing.

I was nearly drifting to nothingness when I heard a loud clatter on the floor downstairs. It sounded like a something hard hit the floor.

I hastily made my way to the source of the bothering sound and found myself in front of Sebastian's office. I did not trouble myself knocking, holding the handle in my hands and twisting it with such caution. I carefully pushed the door open and found the room swimming in complete darkness. I took my time adjusting my sight in the dark. With the light coming from the moon through the window, I gasped at the figure leaning against the chair with eyes close. I continued to stare at him openly. And it was just then that I noticed the glass of brandy in his hands. The ice was resting coolly putting volume on the brown liquid inside. I searched for the thing that might have caused the noise earlier.

"What are you doing here?", his baritone voice startled me because he spoke so sudden. I thought he was asleep. And how was it able for him to know I was in there?

"I heard a noise", I answered quite lowly but I knew he heard me since the room was so quiet that you'll hear the slightest movement.

"Go back to sleep", he commanded still keeping his eyes shut.

"I was not asleep", a cold air rushed against my skin and I silently cursed myself for that I was only on my thin silky nightgown. No robe on, just this thin strapped nightgown.

"Just go and sleep, Trisha", he sounded like he just woke up from a long long sleep except for the fact that he never did. How did I know? Well, I just did.

"What are you doing here in the dark? You should be sleeping", I almost heard him smile.

"That made me really happy right now, love. Knowing you were that concerned about me", I turned my head away from his direction and hugged myself to fight the coldness from the air conditioner.

I heard a shuffling and saw him getting up from his chair. Him facing away from the light made him a dangerous looking figure with his intimidating posture even if he swayed a bit on his feet.

"Come here", he said.

But I stared at him. He was dangerous. He was dark and dangerous. But I like it. I like the fact that he was dangerous. He was the kind of danger I wanted to consume me. The kind of danger I was craving for. The kind of 'dangerous' that I love.

"Come here, love" and at last, my feet followed. When I was standing close to him, so close, he swiftly grabbed me by the waist and like a turn of a waltz, he sat me down on the chair he was once in. my heart rammed against my chest in frantic rhythm almost making every breath difficult to control. He was hovering over me, his shadow covering me from the moonlight. Still holding the glass in his hand, he put his hands on each side of the chair leaning close to me. His intent looking on his eyes pierced inside mine to the core. So deep, so intense, so compelling.

"Do you have any idea what you are doing to me, love?", his breath smelled like mint and brandy in mixture. My eyes drifted down to his lips and then back on his eyes.

"Do you?"

"No", I replied not blinking.

"Do you have any idea what it was like having you here with me? Right this time? On this chair?", I heard the ice clink on his glass and he brought it against his mouth taking a sip of the liquid but still pinning me with his burning gaze.

"Do you have any idea?", I gasped loudly and body stiffened not from fear but from something good when he traced my bare forearms with his cold glass. It made me shiver in delight and anticipation. He run it down to my hands and jumped to my bare mid thigh.

"Sebastian", I couldn't help but whisper his name.

"Yes, love?"

His eyes were following the movements of the glass on my skin, droplets of cold water landing on my dress and on my skin. I bit my lip to avoid another moan.

"Pl----", my plea was cut off by his lips covering mine. Unlike the once we shared for the past few days, it was a gentle kiss. No urgency. No aggressiveness. Just plain and pure soft kiss. It was not like him and that made me wonder what was wrong. When he pulled away, he smiled so gentle. He genuinely smiled. But it was not a happy smile, it was a smile of sadness and pain and it made my heart clenched painfully for him.

I was about to reach for his face to caress it and ease the urge to touch him, he dropped in his knees sitting on his sole.

He leaned his head on my lap.

"You have no idea", he closed his eyes and fell asleep like that but not before I saw a glimmer of tear at the corner of his eyes.

I put my hand on his head caressing and combing his hair with my fingers. I watched as his hair slipped in between the spaces of my fingers. It was so smooth.

"I don't have any idea, yes, but do you have any idea what are you doing to me?"

I leaned over and kissed his temple smelling his scent that long invaded me. I leanedback on the chair and stared out on the moon wondering why is it shining sodimly tonight?