Doctor's Orders

41. Side Effects

Our time with Harry's parents was truly enjoyable, but I was sufficiently peeved at how it ended. After Anne and I enjoyed hours of small talk, music, and wine, Harry and his father staggered out of their man cave, completely inebriated. Harry said good-bye to his mom with an overwhelming hug and a sloppy kiss. She turned to me and said, "You're driving, right Ellie?" 

"Of course," I said, fishing the keys out of Harry's pocket. 

"Mm fine," he slurred, reaching for the keys. 

"Oh no, you don't!" His mom said, waving his hand away from the keys. She put her arms on his shoulders. "Ellie is driving, Harry. Either that or you'll have to sleep here."

He nodded lazily. "Yup. She's driving." 

I got into the driver's seat of the BMW while Harry climbed in the passenger seat. "Yur so pretty," he said, practically slobbering on my shoulder as he leaned in to kiss me. 

"No offense, Harry, but I don't want to kiss you when you smell like a saloon." 

"Saloon," he said, giggling. "Salooon," he said again. "That's a funny word. Salooooon."

"Shut up, Harry," I laughed, turning onto Lake Shore Drive. He was fairly quiet on the way home, but it proved difficult getting him out of the car and up to the penthouse without practically dragging him along. I hoped no one would see him like this; he was a respected resident of the building, after all. When I finally opened the door to his penthouse, he swamped me with his lanky, drunk body. I practically fell over with his weight on me. I scooted over to the sofa with him clinging to me in a monkey-like hug.

"Why do you do this, Harry?" I whined, peeling his limbs off me and heading to the kitchen for some water and Tylenol.

"Do what?" He called after me. 

I took my time filling his glass before I answered. Then, walking to him, I set the glass down on the table with the two pills. "Take this," I instructed. "You'll thank me in the morning." He sat up and actually managed to swallow the pills. "I was asking you why you insist on getting so drunk."

"Helps me relax," he said, lingering on the x sound at the end. 

"There are better ways to relax," I said pouting at him. I pushed him back against the couch and climbed on his lap. I gently held his face so he could look at me, at least when he managed to keep his eyes open. "I love you, babe. And you know this isn't good for you. Will you let me teach you some better ways to relax?" I kissed his nose gently.

"I know what would help me," he leaned over and mumbled into my ear. 

"What's that?" I whispered.

"I wanna fuck you," he said.

"Uhh," I growled at him, pushing him away. "How romantic." I got off his lap, went to the guest bed and climbed in, not caring if Harry ever got to bed at all. I knew he was drunk, but I was offended by his crude words. I wanted him to make love to me sober not fuck me when he was piss drunk. Perhaps we could be a little more casual about terminology as things progressed, but a drunken fuck wasn't exactly what I wanted at the moment.