Doctor's Orders

59. ICU

"There's been an accident." 

The words hung thick in the air as my mind tried to process them. Gradually, a lead weight pressed more and more heavily on my chest. "No," I snapped, shaking my head violently. "No!" 

Ian tugged me into his warm embrace and Bridget wrapped her arms around both of us. "Please just tell me he's alive," I choked.

"He's alive," Bridget said. "Apparently my number was in his phone. When they couldn't contact you, they called me. We came to take you to the hospital." She dragged me away from the door and into my room, where she dug into my closet and pulled out some jeans and a light sweater. "Get dressed," she urged me. 

"Right," I said, floating towards the clothing. I didn't remember getting dressed, and I barely recall grabbing my purse on the way out the door. I followed them absent-mindedly to Ian's car, parked illegally in front of our building, that part, I noticed, for some reason. Everything was a blur on the way there. Nothing mattered anymore – not the relapses, not the new ER project, not the status of our relationship - nothing mattered except finding out if he was going to be okay. That was the curse of having a career in medicine, I suppose, knowing that "alive" didn't necessarily mean he would walk out of the hospital with us after they examined him. I didn't even know if he was conscious or if I'd be able to see him right away.

When we passed the turn for CMI, I asked, "Where did they take him?" 

"Mercy," Ian replied. Shit, that was further away. I focused on deep breathing, in through my nose, out through my mouth, over and over again, to ward off the panic that was waiting to pounce on me at any second.

Finally, Ian pulled up in front of Mercy Hospital and I jumped out of the car while he and Bridget went to find a parking spot. I raced to the emergency department. "Harry Styles," I said impatiently. "There was an accident and-"

The nurse at the intake desk placed her warm hand over mine and it felt surprisingly comforting. "Calm down," she said, giving me a warm smile. How odd to be on this end of the emergency department. "Let me just check here." After a few computer clicks, she revealed, "Dr. Styles has been moved to ICU 3." She pointed in the direction of the elevators that would take me to the ICU. Bridget and Ian caught up with me in the lobby. "He's in the ICU," I said, practically sprinting to the elevators. I jammed my finger into the call button and held it tight. 

"Ellie," Ian said in a soothing voice. "Relax, okay? Just take it easy." 

He was trying to help, but he had no clue what I was feeling inside, that I was on the verge of hysteria. When we arrived at the ICU, Bridget and Ian took a seat in the lounge while I pressed the buzzer. "Ellie Jansen," I announced. "I'm here to see Harry Styles." 

"Come in, Ms. Jansen," the nurse said as if she was expecting me. She met me at the door, saying, "He asked about you already."

"He's awake? And talking?" I asked, relief rushing into my body.