More Than He Was Going For (Austin Mahone Love Story)

Chapter Twelve

After a very long, tiring flight we finally landed in Los Angeles. It was already about midnight, therefore leaving me to be extremely exhausted, especially since sleep clearly hadnt been an option the night before.

As I removed my headphones from my ears and shoved them into my purse, I turned around to see a red hazy eyed Austin staring back at me. He seemed to be just as exhausted as I was, not that I gave a solitary care in the world, but It was something I had noticed. Stacy and Rocco both had took a nap on the plane as I noticed earlier, so they didn't seem to be nearly as exhausted as us.

While stepping off the plane and into the hallway, I pulled my hoodie over my head preparing for the flashing cameras of the potential paparazzi. As the five of us walked into the lobby, I was unsurprisingly right and the flashes started. I let out a groan and kept walking towards the doors and out to the limo that was waiting for our arrival outside. Stacy, Rocco, and Bei instructed that we stay in the car while they went to grab all of our remaining luggage, leaving Austin and I alone in the car.

I watched as Stacy and the others walked back through the airport and looked in the corner of my eye at Austin who was just staring into the seat in front of him. It's so unfair how he could be so unbelievably attractive, even if he was so unbearingly exhausted. He didn't look the type of person to ever do what he did to me. The type of person to play a game that was so evil even one of its best players, myself, had failed miserably at. Love.

I knew I was still in love with him, even after what he did. I was the type of girl to fall head over heels so easily, and for so long it was just shameful. I hadn't even known Austin long enough, it felt like, for me to even consider loving him. But somehow in that short amount of time, I fell in love with the way he smiled, the way he talked, the way he looked at me when we were together, the way he would do such little things that wouldn't matter to anyone else. I fell for all of that. What's so sad is, no part of me mattered to him like those little things mattered to me. While I was the one catching feelings, he was the one living the lie and playing the game. Boy, did he play it good.

I considered the poem I had read in a book once, a quote that had fascinated me when I had broken up with Cody. It went something sort of like this:

Do the sandy beaches ever get used to the waves departing and leaving them to pull themselves back together again?

Would it have been so bad if you had lingered?

If your waters enveloped me completely, I would have welcomed you into my lungs because what was mine was always yours and what was yours was never mine.

Just like beaches are always beaches and forever waiting for the tide

Such perfect words of which I felt in this moment. What was mine was always Austin's, but what was Austin's was never mine. That pained me a little to think, even though I hated him. But I also did love him, and that occurred to me as well. Because I love Austin so much, will I forever be waiting for him to love me as I do him? Just like the beaches forever waiting the tide? Of course I wish I wouldn't, but a part of me knew I probably always will.

We pulled up to the hotel and I was so happy that I would finally be able to get some sleep. I knew I'd be seeing Beau tomorrow, which was a plus. I needed something to get my mind off of the horrible, yet so wonderful human being that was sitting in the same limo as I was.

Rocco had called the hotel in advance to let them know of our arrival so we'd be admitted immediately. I didn't even know that was possible but I guess being a celebrity comes with perks, and I also wasn't complaining.

I got out of the car and grabbed my bags from the back and walked in the doors. I was surrounded by bell hops, who took my bags as well as everyone else's. They had each of our room keys in their hands, leading us towards the elevators. In that moment in the elevator, I tried so hard not to look at Austin. I knew he was looking at me but I honestly did not want to make eye contact with him. At all. Of course this made the elevator ride seem as though decades were passing by, that and because I just wanted to go to sleep.

We walked off the elevator and the bell hop gave me my key.

"Your room, miss" he said. I took the key and swiped it in the door.

"Thanks." I mumbled, walking in and shutting the door behind me. I threw my suitcase and bag over on the couch and turned on the lamp. The room was huge, but I barely cared. I did notice the curtains were open near the huge windows, exposing the beautiful scene of downtown Los Angeles. I couldn't help but step outside and take a quick picture before posting on Instagram "Finally here LA. See y'all soon".

I stepped inside and shut the curtains, leaving me to the small lamp I had turned on and my awaiting bed which I crawled into immediately. I turned off my light and prayed to God for my healing of my wounded heart, and finally fell asleep.