Between North and South

CHAPTER 18 - ESSENCE

"You were amazing!" Azren squealed as she hugged Sabina after her recital. A number of classical songs were rendered and her last performance was conducting two songs sung by the choir of her choice.

"Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!"

"Of course! Who wouldn't be proud and thrilled of a musician sister?"

The family went to Barkadahan Grill inside Centrio Ayala Mall to dine and celebrate. They were supposed to head home and enjoy Melanie’s cooking but Sabina wanted her to relax, hence, the decision to dine out.

They ordered the bestsellers of the restaurant and as they were talking, Azren made a declaration that they never expected to hear.

"Sab, after your thanksgiving, I would like all of us to go on a vacation. Let’s travel to different places in Luzon."

The De Gracia siblings stared at their older sister. Their parents though, seem to have anticipated this.

"Um…"

"Are you sure, Ate?" Gus asked.

"Yup. Since Sab is planning to take Masters at either UP or PWU, it would be great if she could personally visit those schools for her to decide which one to enroll at."

Sabina cleared her throat. "Thanks, Ate, but I've made a commitment to handle a choir next month and especially on December. We're preparing for a big event."

"Oh…" Azren slumped. "I wouldn't encourage you to stay for just a week, though. That span of time wouldn't be enough for the tour that I'm planning for us. Let's plan it when you two are very free."

Sabina smiled. "Thank you."

"We'd love to go but we don't have the budget needed."

Before any of them could speak after Gus, Azren replied, "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything. You just need to be there."

Knowing that their sister is well-off, they didn’t want her to have the impression that they were milking her, hence, the hesitation.

Four days later was Sabina’s graduation and a couple days more was her thanksgiving celebrated at N Hotel. It was graced by her friends and relatives.

She’s wearing a knee-length mint green V-neck chiffon, paired with rose gold high heels and accented with golden g-clef dangling earrings, golden bracelet that Azren bought her, and some necklace that a friend named Texas gifted her. Her make-up was light, as what she always preferred.

The stage was crowded with a keyboard, drums, mic and mic stands, and guitars for the presentations that her Burgos cousins prepared. 

The program commenced at six-thirty. Songs and messages were rendered but the highlight was her family's. Augustus went first. His tall physique made the podium look so tiny. He was wearing casual clothes—silver button-down polo, black skinny jeans, and leather shoes. His hair was clean cut and styled with gel.

"Can you imagine what I went through for having a musician sister? She creates so much noise! When she doesn't play, she sings. She sings when she cooks, cleans the dishes, does the laundry, takes her bath—just with everything she does! Often I imagine that her brain is composed of musical notes." The crowd laughed. "Kidding aside. Finally, Ate, you're done with college. The noise you created every night and day brought you success. Good thing that you sound-proofed the music room."

"You bully!" Sabina mouthed.

"No, no. Seriously. Congrats, Ate Sab. We believe that with your hardwork and dedication, you will reach your dreams and aspirations. We love you and we will always support you."

He went to Sabina after speaking and enveloped her in a tight, bear hug.
Next was Azren. She dressed simply but her sophistication cannot be denied. With the simple peach off-shoulder dress that hugged her curves, four-inches beige stilettos, hoop earrings, a gold watch, gold bracelet, scarlet lipstick, natural looking make-up, and hair down in waves—her aura screamed wealth.
Unbeknownst to everyone, she was hesitant to stand in front of the crowd, worrying about the visitors’ thoughts about Melanie having another child. But she disregarded that and reminded herself that Sabina was all that matters.

"Sab, you have no idea how fulfilled I am to be here celebrating with you this very important and long-awaited milestone. As your sister, I assure that you can count on my support for life. I know that we haven't known each other for that long but trust that I will do my sisterly duties. Congratulations and… I love you."

Sabina and the rest of the Burgoses couldn't contain their tears when Azren said those three words. They felt her genuineness. They’re elated to finally know that in a short span, Azren has accepted and learned to love them. Unknown to them, Azren felt the same. She never expected that in a short span, she’s already so in love with her other family. It was a magical revelation for her. She didn’t grow up with these people. She’s only beginning to get to know them and though she hoped for things to go smoothly—thankfully, they did—she also acknowledges the times that she doubted how things were gonna turn out. She was broken then, but the warmth they welcomed her with filled the void and completed the feeling of incompleteness that she obtained from hearing the truth.
"Thank you. I love you too." Sabina whispered through tears as they shared a tight embrace.

"You'll mess your make-up!" Azren giggled and dried Sabina’s cheeks even if she had to also dry her own.

Melanie spoke next and almost brought Sabina to the road of breaking down again. It wasn’t a lengthy message. It was short but heartfelt. No flowery words. Just words that left a mark in the listeners’ hearts.

Gary took over the podium and delivered his message. It was followed by one more presentation from the Burgos cousins and then it was finally Sabina’s turn to speak.

“First, I thank all of you for gracing my celebration and extend your happiness for my success. To my family who travelled all the way from Camiguin, my college friends and fellow musicians who were with me during the ups and downs of our course; the Burgos clan who were also with me through thick and thin—I so love you guys.

“To Crystal River Academy Choir, thank you for continuously trusting my skills even when I was still a student. Thank you for enduring my tightness. As a teacher, I will not deny that I am strict because I don’t want our efforts to go to waste.

“To my sister Azren who flew from Manila just to see my recital and grace my graduation and thanksgiving tonight—this means a lot to me, Ate. Even before we didn't personally meet, I had wished for your presence. I had wished that on the day that I march, my family is complete, with you. And now that you’re here… this milestone has become more special and more memorable.” She pause and smiled at her sister who was already wiping her face dry. “I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for giving us—the Burgoses the chance to be finally part of your life. We love you, Ate Ren.”

Sabina went on but Azren was already swimming in deep thoughts.

Oh my God. I’m not complaining, but for someone who’s a product of a sin, did I really deserve all this love? How am I so blessed, Lord?

Thank you. Thank you so much for the abundant love that I’ve been receiving from all of my families. This means so much to me. The burden has become lighter. Day by day it did.

***

It was four in the morning when the Burgoses headed to Balingoan where the port towards Camiguin Island is located. They had to be early since it's two hours away.

Inside the pick-up that Augustus drove were Melanie, Sabina, Denise, and Azren. Outside were Benjamin, Hubert, and Alistair. In the Starex owned by their Uncle Ben and currently driven by Hector are Sarah with Bella, Jonathan, Trinity, and Harmony. Gary is MIA because of work.

They reached the port at exactly six o'clock. At seven, they got into the barge and chose the upper deck to enjoy the view.

Azren was stoked. The island of her dreams is finally within reach. It looked huge but if you see it on the map, it's tiny compared to the other islands of the country. It's also mountainous. Riding a plane, you'd see it located between Bohol and the main island of Mindanao.

From the port of Benoni, the group drove to Paras Beach Resort, located at Mambajao, Camiguin. They chose this particular resort as it was close to the tourists spots. Two different rooms were booked but Hector took a separate room for his own family.

The tour began after lunch and they visited the Walkway to the Old Volcano and Stations of the Cross at one o'clock. Their next stop was the Old Church Ruins followed by the Sunken Cemetery around quarter to three. Then they drove to Santo Niño Cold Spring and stayed there for almost two hours before coming back to the resort for dinner at seven o'clock.

While everyone was hanging out inside the ladies' room, Azren went outside to speak with Uriah who's been waiting for her call all day. They talked about how their day was spent. He said he went to the gym and played ball with Carlos and the others. Azren, on the other hand, told him how Camiguin amazed her.

"Let's visit it together next time," Uriah suggested.

"When and with who?"

"Just us," he laughed.

"Why not? But it's merrier if others came."

"So, basically, with or without other people, even if it will just be the two of us, you'd still go with me?"

"Sure. I don't mind." She meant it.

"Hmm. I'd rather we go in group. You know, to avoid temptation."

"Oh? Am I tempting you?"

"A little," he chuckled. "The kiss we had… that was really enticing. I didn't intend to kiss you until we're officially together but…"

She flushed. "That was your fault. I only asked you for a hug."

He stifled a laugh. "I'm not sorry, though."

I’m not either. But she didn't say that out loud. To shift the subject, she said, "I have an idea. My friends are planning to visit here on May. Come with us."

"Really? In Camiguin?"

"Guess so. We've always been interested with the island."

The call lasted for a while before she decided to end it to join her cousins. But before she could leave, she saw Melanie already approaching her.

"Hi, Ma."

Melanie sat across her. "How long have you been out here?"

"Twenty minutes, approximately. I was talking to Ice."

She nodded and went quiet for about half a minute. Then, "Are you enjoying your stay with us, dear?"

"Of course, Ma. Why'd you ask?"

She breathed in and softly spoke. "Nothing. I am just afraid of the thought that you're just forced to be here. I wouldn't want that."

Azren studied her. She's getting old but she doesn't look like her age. She's turning forty-seven but she looked really young that they—Sabina and Gus included—were often mistaken as siblings. Except that they don't look alike. Physique wise, she's slender and her aura's like Sandra Bullock.

By looking at her, Azren thought of her father and what he did that brought her into this situation. I wonder how it happened. I know Mama is attractive but was that enough reason for Dad to cheat? She quietly sighed. At least, it is comforting to know that Mama wasn’t aware about him being married and that she chose to move back to CDO to avoid further conflict. That clearly means that she didn’t intend to destroy his family. That means she tried to correct her mistake.

"Ma, if I wasn't enjoying here… if I didn't feel welcomed… I would’ve not returned. I should've just stayed in Manila. But I came back because I liked it here. And I wanted to strengthen our relationship and my relationship with my siblings."

Melanie smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry that I had to ask."

“It’s okay, Ma.”

She went silent again. Then her mouth reopened like she was about to say something but she thought otherwise. In the end, she breathes out and said, "You should go in and bond with your cousins."

"How about you? I don’t mind talking to you instead, you know."

That earned her another affectionate smile. "I'll follow later. I need to call your uncle."

She nodded and kissed her on the cheek before heading to her cousins. Was it right to leave her? She seemed bothered about something.

"Hey, Ate Ren! What took you so long?" Alistair moved to give her a spot between him and Harmony.

"Phone call. What did I miss?"

"Nothing much. Just catching up. But we'd like to ask you something." She motioned Denise to go on. "It's been more than a month since we met. Are you enjoying your stay?"

She chuckled. "This is actually the second time that I've been asked that question. Mama asked me that. And my answer is yes. Because if I didn't, I would’ve not come back."

"I just hope that you're here because of us, Ate Ren."

Her eyes moved to Trinity. "Hm?"

"Because it seems like you're just here for Isaac. If you haven't noticed, you've been spending a lot of your time with him. So, I'm sorry that I had to ask. Because it's like you're only using your family as an excuse for him."

WHAT. THE. FUCK. Azren’s eyes narrowed while the others went awfully silent. Except Benjamin who called his sister our out.

"Not again, Trinity!" Harmony warned too.

“I repeat,” Azren spoke. “I didn't know that this was the situation. And what’s wrong with being with him? We’re friends.”

"Because the essence of you coming here is now gone! You came here for your family but you're more focused on Ice." Trinity pointed.

"What is your problem? What is your issue about me and him?"

"You are forgetting about family!"

Instead of showing anger, Azren smirked. "I don't think it's that, Couz. Why are you more affected than my siblings? You're just my cousin and you're complaining this much? Acting like it's my obligation to always be with you," she paused. "Do you like Ice? Tell me."

"This is not about—"

"Stop it, please!" Sabina interjected. "Ate Trin, please! She does not disregard us. We've been away for two decades but she treats us like we grew up altogether. So, please? Stop having false assumptions. We appreciate your concern but you are out of this. Don't worry. We're all putting in our efforts for a better relationship."

"Ate Trin, we don't have issues with what Ate Ren does. In fact, we should be ashamed because we couldn't spend enough time with her. She's aware of how busy we are but she chose to come back and stay," Gus added rather calmly. "And we actually thank Isaac for keeping her company."

My siblings are defending me. She thought about Trinity's words. Am I really giving more importance to Uriah? I don't know. I didn't see it. Is that why Mama asked me if I'm enjoying here? Does she and Trinity have the same sentiments?

"Precisely! She knows that you can't spend much time with her given your studies and Auntie being busy with her catering yet she keeps on coming. Like I said, you're being used as her excuse!"

"How shallow of you." Azren rebutted.

"Oh? And I wonder, don't you have plans on getting a job?"

She ignored her last remark. Focusing on what she'd said earlier, she hated that her cousin might be right.

Oh, come on! Why am I doubting myself? My siblings and I are in really good terms. When we're all free, we hang out—to know each other better. To be siblings. I even went as far as cooking our meals. And, God! I don't even do that for my family in Manila! Back there, I just wait to be called unless I present to cook!

“Trin, do you really think that if I'm not interested in knowing you—my family—I'd spend so much time in a place foreign to me? To spend money? Effort? Fuck it!” She spat. And for the first time, her cousins were stunned to hear her curse so crisply. “I defied my Dad so I could come here. I gained all the courage I had to ask for my Mom's approval. Telling her that I wanted to come here and meet all of you was not easy because I feared that she might think that I was turning my back on them. But she understood me, Trinity. So please? I'm fed up!” She paused to calm herself. She wanted to say more but she decided to leave again to prevent herself from saying anything that she might regret the next day.

Tsk. I don't know if I should be grateful for Trinity's concern or be pissed with her being so judgmental.

Sabina, Gus, Denise, Hubert, and Alistair followed her while the rest stayed to chastise the other.

“Ate, I’m sorry for what she said. She’s really sensitive when it comes to our family.”

She halted and coldly faced Sabina. “Don’t apologize on her behalf. I won’t take it. I want to hear a sincere apology coming from her. She’s tactless, Sabina. I’m sure you know that. And I’m not saying this because Benj told me so. I’m saying this from my observation.”

“She is. I get that. And even if I know that her intentions were good, I’m not denying the fact that she handled it poorly. Please don’t believe her, Ate. We appreciate you being here.”

“And we mean it, Ate. We’re ashamed that we couldn’t spend more time with you.” Added Gus.

“Look,” Azren sighed. “I admit, I’m bored here most of the time but that was something that I already anticipated before coming back. And I don’t mind because I’m telling you, after this, I won’t be around anymore. I’ll be back in Manila working on my career. This is as free as I can get. I’m taking advantage of this freedom because I don’t know when I’ll have the chance to be back again.” Her voice softened. “I’m contented with our current arrangement, so don’t feel too guilty. And I’m sorry—if I ever did something to make you feel unimportant.”

“No, Ate.” Sabina disagreed firmly. “You’re doing a good job. We can all see how you’re balancing your time with us and mom and even our cousins. And you know that what Ate Trinity said was untrue. You’re mostly with us. Not Kuya Ice. So don’t doubt yourself.”

“And it’s totally normal and understandable for you to also hang out with your friends. And even if you date Kuya Ice, we will fully support you. That’s your right, Ate.”

“Sorry for butting in,” Alistair said after Gus. “My sister overreacted. I’m sorry, Ate Ren. We already told her to stop making a big deal out of it but well… she didn’t listen. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you, Alistair, but you have nothing to apologize for. I’m saddened, though, that even before she apologized for what she said back in Santa Barbara, she offended me once more.”

“We’ll talk to her, Ate.”

She tapped Denise’s shoulder. “I’m sure she’s had enough chastisement from our other cousins. And she’s old enough to own up to her mistakes. Let’s wait for her to take action willingly. Because I’d rather we don’t speak than be fake.”