When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Aftertaste: Chapter Nineteen

Hayden's POV:

"No, I'm scared of heights," I giggle, gripping onto Cameron's arms as we reach the spot.

"Just jump," he says softly, moving my hair from my face, "Or I can push you."

When I don't move, Cameron pushes me, allowing me to fall into the lagoon, only to be caught by Jude who was already at the bottom. My heart beats a thousand miles a minute. Jude sets me in the water and I feel arms wrap around me.

Cameron pulls me to him as we swim in the crystal clear water. He kisses my head, as I walk to the beach. I sit on the sand as Cameron plays in the water.

"I'd leave with me now," a voice says.

I jump and walk back. Cameron has me in his arms in an instant and I can see Madison calling the police. It was only minutes later that cops found us and arrested Marco. My heart races.

"Let's go back to the hotel."

Taylor walks over to me.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Cameron leads me to the way up, and we all walk back to the hotel. Silence was a danger in and of itself. It let me escape my reality. Though, it also offered a land in which I could contemplate all the bad things that have happened in my life. Cameron has become my coping mechanism to these thoughts and offered me a safe world with no judgment. He loved me. Yet I couldn't say what I felt, I love Cameron with all my heart, and I secretly knew one day I'd come back to him.

They all supported me, and even though they were all best friends with Nate, they knew he was dangerous and they helped keep him away. Jude protected me whether or not I chose him over Cameron, he still loves me for everything I am.

"Hayden?" Cameron asks.

"Sorry, what?"

Cameron sighs.

"We're heading back to the hotel then going out to eat, is that okay?"

I nod and look down, embarrassed that my thoughts have engulfed me. Cameron kisses my head as we sit in the car with the air on as the Hawaiian heat surrounded us. I never wanted to leave, but knew I couldn't escape and live in Paradise forever. Cameron keeps me close as we head down a steep hill.

My thoughts kept me sane from the torture, abuse and hunger that had surrounded me during my kidnapping. Brandon lied and followed us to the water, and I knew he was here. I nervously scratch at my skin, and I feel Cameron take my hands and hold them against my legs.

We arrive to the hotel and the two of us are the first out. I stop when I see Nate leaning against he hotel smirking.

"Well, Hayden really is a little whore," he laughs, making Jude walk towards him, "I mean she's sleeping with Cameron and Jude? Johnson are you next, or maybe Gilinsky too?"

"Nate I'm not-"

He pulls me from Cameron and I flinch, scared of what he'll do to me. I haven't trusted him in months. Carter, Taylor, and Aaron come over.

"Oh, are you screwing a minor too?" Nate laughs.

"No I'm not," I whisper so softly I didn't think he heard me.

"I don't believe that, Wilkinson."

Tears blur my vision as I wait for the abuse like when we were kids. Jude restrains himself, and I look for help.

"Nate, knock it off," Madison shouts, "You have-"

Jack covers her mouth and I look down. My fears come true when I feel his fist connect to my stomach and Cameron is quickly pulling me away, while Madison stares in shock as Gilinsky and Jude grab him. I cough hard trying to control my breath.

"Hayden," Cameron asks, "Are you you okay?"

"Just leave me alone," I whisper and run down the street.

It felt like minutes but I could see the sun starting to set as I reach a cliff and sit down. I curl in a ball and watch the waves crash against the wall.

"Hayden?" I hear Madison ask and I look up.

She sits beside me and looks at the view of the ocean. She hugs me.

"I'm sorry."

"He's mad that I don't trust him anymore, Mads. I don't know what to do."

"You ignore him."

I feel another hand and I see Cameron. I stand up and hug him. Feelings the tears threaten to spill.

"I'm sorry, Cam."

He just holds me in silence. Madison walks to Jack.

"I should go ho-"

Cameron cuts me off and kisses me. He pulls me close and I kiss back. He pulls away and kisses my forehead before we walk back to the van. My thoughts engulfed me so far I couldn't find anything to say when I heard them talking about Nate. How he would stay with Carter, and my heart dropped.

I would never be able to face them or go out as long as Nate stayed here. Cameron wouldn't touch me as I watched rain pour down around us. Tears threatened to fall but I stayed strong.

I hated them all, even Cameron at this moment, though he had no say. I know he hadn't.

I scratched my skin as once more the hotel came into view. I wanted to throw up. I found my escape as I took the stairs alone to the third floor. My solitude didn't last as I'm slammed against the wall. Nate's brown eyes stare at me.

"Nate-"

He kisses me. I shove him off as I race up the stairs and shut the door before finding our room and locking the door. Tears brimmed my eyes. He kissed me. Again and again he ruins any happiness I attain and I'm left with him. I curl under the blanket as I hear many voices come in.

Cameron will surely break up with me.

I wanted him to. I wanted to be alone in the world hurting no one but myself. Breaking no ones heart but my own as I secluded myself.

"Hayden," Cameron says softly.

"Go away, Cameron."

He moves the covers and I look at him.

"He kissed me. I wanted to kiss back."

I cheated on him and he wanted me to forget it as if it were nothing. I wanted to be nothing. I wanted to be the same invisible person I had been throughout junior high and high school, I wanted not to matter and I wanted to die.

"Cameron-"

He moves away from me and I shut my eyes. He hated me, and although I wanted him to, I knew they'd force me to leave.

"Nate leave," Cameron says.

"Why, cause your little slut of a girlfriend claims that I kissed her? She kissed me, Cameron."

I stand and Jude looks at me.

"Hayden-"

"I didn't. But it's better if I'm out of your lives."

"Cameron, I'm leaving," I say softly, touching his shoulder.

"Hayden-"

"I'm sorry."