When I'm Gone ( Nate Maloley AU)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Hayden's POV:

I hope he gets hit with a bus. Usually I'd never wish death upon someone. Nate's a different story. I get back in the bath, relaxing to hot water. I light candles, play calming music.

I lean back and shut my eyes. Memories only flood my eyes and I sit up. I move my hair and decide to shave a wash my body, and hair. Once I'm done I change into a pair of underwear, and a large sweatshirt. I lay back in bed and continue to let the music play. Where are you now by Union J comes up.

"I guess I wanted you to believe
That nothing really mattered to me
I told myself that if you were gone
I'd just carry on

But trying to move on only hurts
It's one step forward, and two in reverse
But since the moment I let you leave

All I see is you
When I wake up
You, when I talk
You, when I lie down
You, when I walk
You, when I'm sleeping
You, when I try to breathe

(You just keep on haunting me)

I'll get over the way that you got over me
I know that I'll make it there eventually
Get my heart to erase somehow
And stop wondering where are you now"

Tears want to build, but i shut my eyes and fall asleep.

•••

Four days since I kissed Cameron. It felt natural, and all I could do was smile. I've slept most of the day.

I look at discarded Polaroids of Nate and I. I put them in the box. Cameron comes in with food, and places it on the dresser. He proceeds to sit next to me. Lying in Nate's spot, and pulling me into his arms. I don't know what Cameron and I are. I do know I've replaced my love for Nate with Cam, and it hurts. He won't like me.

"Hayden," Cameron says forcing me to face him.

"Hm?"

"N-Nevermind."

Cameron pushes me into the mattress and kisses me. I pull him down and kiss back. I pull away and Cameron gets off of me. He leaves the room. I can't do this again.

Not this soon.

A/N: sorry that these are so depressing. Comment and say what you want in the next chapter -Dani