November Snow

t h i r t y - s e v e n

I wasn't proud when I wore the Inquisitorial Squad badge on my robe, it made me everyone's enemy. Gryffindors looked like they wanted to cut my head clean off, or even meaner, cut it halfway like Nearly Headless Nick, Hufflepuffs looked as if they had a big ambition of throwing me in Azkaban and the Ravenclaws looked like they would claw my eyes and throat out if they had a chance. On the bright side, I gained trust from most Slytherins, though Parkinson and Greengrass still loathed me. Maybe that wasn't much of a bright side, I suppose.

My plan worked miraculously, that was the only ray of sunlight I needed in this eerie dark pit. Ginny had stopped talking to me, Luna avoided eye-contact with me, Harry and Ron and many others turned from hating me to loathing me. Fred and George, well, Hermione was still trying. She said it was hard to sway their trust in me. That was something I needed to work on, I couldn't just rely on her when it came to them. But at least it was working, since they weren't allowed to see me. Others stopped them from doing so, and I refused to give them an opportunity to.

My private classes with Hermione was agreed to start some time in the next week during our free periods in some empty classroom we found. I thought it would be better if we started it later, but Hermione insisted that it was necessary for me to catch up as soon as possible. The only time we got to meet each other was during free periods or late at night, few minuted before curfew. We had to be secretive, of course, if people found out then it would be bad for me, or worse, for Hermione.

I was sitting alone in the corner of the library, feeling eyes on me from other students sitting far away. They were whispering, sometimes threw a dirty glance at me before returning to their conversation which was probably about me. I was the hot gossip topic of the week: November Avery and her shocking betrayal. Bite me.

Someone walked towards my table. I didn't look up, but I recognized the presence. That presence of the two people I didn't want to talk to the most, of the two people I had been avoiding ever since Hermione began to spread the story about me. Half of me told me to sit still and ignore them, another half advised me to walk away and avoid any contact. Idiotic enough, I chose the second option, though I knew none of them was going to help. They blocked my way immediately when I clutched my book closer to my book and proceeded my way past them.

"Get out of the way, Weasleys." I growled, looking down.

"Tell us it isn't true." Fred said, an obvious hint of pain showed in his voice.

"I have nothing to say to you." 

I didn't look up. I couldn't bear looking at their faces, my heart would break if I did. I loved them too much to lie to them, but sometimes, it was for the best.

"Please, tell us Hermione's lying." George said, both of hand now placed on my shoulder "We know you too well, Nov, we know you're not like that. Look into our eyes and tell us."

"You can fool anyone but us." Fred added "We're the only one fooling people around here."

I closed my eyes and gave a shaky sigh. I couldn't give in now, it was for the best. At least that was what I constantly told myself. They had to hate me. I had no other choice. I looked up, masking my pain with a cold glare as their pained face came into sight. They looked at me, hoping I would tell them something they wanted.

"Then I guess you don't know me half as much as you think you do." I said.

Those words were like daggers piercing their hearts. Fred gave a disbelief noise, their gazes dropped to the ground and stared at it while their brains replayed the words I had spoken. George's hands dropped to his sides, the hurt expression evidently displayed on both of their faces. I couldn't stand there anymore. I couldn't bear this.

With my wobbling knees, I managed to walked out of the library and back to the Slytherin common room. I wore a blank expression on my face to mask the pain from all the people around me, but to many others, that was the scariest thing about me when I was angry at something or someone. I collapsed on my four-poster bed, Juliette immediately rushed to my side.

"I just said the worst thing ever to the people I love the most." I murmured, staring blankly at the wall in front of me.

"Fred and George?" She asked.

I just nodded.

"You have to, Nov." She hugged me "You didn't have a choice."

"Now that I thought about it, maybe this is a pathetically dim-witted idea." I said "And the more I want to give up, the more I can't back out."

"You're doing it for everyone's good." She said "That's noble."

"Sometimes you need to be selfish to protect your own heart." I sighed and shifted uncomfortably "You have no idea how stressful it is being between everything. The Order, the army, the Slytherins... Now I wish I wasn't here in the first place."

"Life's hard." She said.

Someone knocked on the door and they seemed to only gain our attention, not our consent to come in, since they burst in after two harsh knocks. It was Greengrass, her eyes darting in hatred at me and Juliette. Behind her peeked in the ugly pug face of Pansy Parkinson whose eyes were glaring as well. The sight of them outside my door suddenly returned me to my normal state: sarcastic and mean towards people I hate, setting my painful conversation with the twins aside.

"Since when did you start knocking before coming in?" I smirked "Did someone finally teach you the proper way of a human?"

"Draco wants you in the common room." She sneered, ignoring my snide comments "Potter and his fans will be wandering out soon, he wants them caught."

"You still didn't answer me, Parkinson." I snorted.

"I only knocked because Draco asked me to." She growled "Now go."

"Fine." I said "Tell them I'm coming."

"And let's set things straight." Greengrass said "Just because you are now in the Squad, that doesn't mean we are allies."

"Oh I know that even better than you."