Holding On To You// JOSHLER

Chapter 13: Panic Attack

Josh Pov:

ME AND TYLER MADE OUT!!! HOLY SHIT WHAT IF HE HATES ME NOW!!! Oh well we were both drunk. What if he tells all his friends that he had to and I made him. Oh know what if-

"Hey Josh do you wanna stay the night? You don't have to if you don't wan-" "I would love to Ty but my dad doesn't like when I'm home late and stuff."

"YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR DAD" "Tyler it's fine he s-stopped it's alright. I'm okay I promise" he gave me a look but then sighed and said okay.

While I was walking home it was pretty dark outside. So I walked in the middle of the road and kept walking.

When I reached my house I climbed on a tree and into my window. I put on some pajamas and went downstairs to get a snack.

I got some Doritos and some dry cereal. I was about to walk back upstairs when my dad walked through the door.

"What are you eating" "uh some chips and cereal" I tried to sound plain saying it like it was nothing. "Well you don't get to eat Mr. Let me tell my friends everything about my life" he snarled.

He grabbed the food out of my hands and punched me a few times before getting tired of me and going back upstairs. When he doesn't let me eat, it's a couple of days or weeks so I sometimes have to sneak down at night but I always get caught so I stopped.

I went into my room and checked my phone because that's what you have to do every time you leave it.

Tyler: hey Josh make it home okay?

Josh: hey ty yeah I did thanks!

Tyler:anytime. Are you doing anything tomorrow after school?

Josh: uhhh nope I'm free. Why?

Tyler: well me and a couple other friends are going to be at my house and I wanted to see if you wanted to come.

Josh: I would love to. Thanks man

Tyler: cool can't wait!

I smiled as I pulled the covers up to my face and stared at the ceiling until I finally went to sleep.

When I woke up my stomach was growling like crazy. But I put that aside and took a shower. I put on some black skinny jeans and a cat shirt with some black vans.

I walked out of the house and walked to school. I walked into my homeroom and sat down. I saw that Tyler wasn't here I hope he's okay. Maybe he's just sick. I'll go get him Taco Bell after school. I hope that not weird.

When I was in 5th period I decided to go to the bathroom and text Tyler to see where he is and why he isn't at school.

Josh: hey Tyler it's Josh.

Tyler: I know it's you Josh I have you put in my phone

Josh: oh yeah sorry

Tyler: it's fine lol what's up

Josh: I was just wondering why you didn't come to school today.

Tyler: oh I had a bad panic attack last night so I stayed home because I haven't had one in a long time.

Josh: oh okay. Are you feeling better? Do you want me to get you Taco Bell after school?

Tyler: that would be sick man thanks!

Josh: no problem

I put my phone away and got out of the stall and washed my hands. You could never go wrong with washing your hands after touching a stall because the other people haven't washed their hands yet. (I'm not a germ freak whaaaa I don't know what you're talking about!) I walked out and went back to my 5th period class and sat down. I looked out the window because I didn't care what the teacher said I was worried about Tyler.

Why am I so worried about him. I never worried about someone this much in my life. Not even Mike who helped me a long time ago. I miss him, I always wonder if he's okay from what happened with him and my dad. I never want to speak about that day but it's always on my mind and won't go away.

I zoned back into reality when the bell rang. I got up and went straight to the next class I had.

I went back into the bathroom to text Tyler because I was a woos and I didn't want my phone to get taken away by the teacher.

"Hey fag" I heard a voice snarl. Oh no!!! I can't be please tell me that I am stuck in the bathroom with them.

"Oh don't wanna talk huh faggot" he laughed. I hate that word. I think it shouldn't be a word at all. It's the worst word in history.

"L-leave me alone p-"I whispered a little "please". "What was that? Did you just beg for us to leave you alone?" Ronnie snapped.

I couldn't speak I was to in shock. I forgot to take my anxiety pills too so I knew that this would be bad. "Get started Ronnie then Oli you finish him off" Kellin walked away while Ronnie and Oli smiled walking closer and closer to me.