Shooting Star

Chapter Twenty-Six

I couldn't fall asleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Natalie shooting herself, so I stared up at the ceiling.
I guess I finally fell asleep, because I woke up to someone screaming and someone grabbing me. It took me a minute to realize that I was the one doing the screaming, and Sirius was reaching for me. I turned my face into his shirt, crying. "Sh, sh. It's okay, love. It's okay." He whispered, stroking my hair. "It's okay."
After I'd calmed down and he'd finally fallen asleep again, I wriggled out of his arms and got out of bed. I went into the kitchen and made some coffee. This was going to be a long night.
I sat at the table, drinking my coffee and reading a book. Well, "reading" a book. It was open and I stared at it.
I heard someone walking and looked up to see Sirius. "What happened to your shirt?" I asked, glancing at him.
"It's been off." He gave me a worried look. Usually I was more observant. "Why don't you turn on a light, if you're gonna read?" He raked his fingers groggily through his hair. It was adorable.
"I'm not actually reading." I closed the book and turned in the chair to face him. "Go back to bed."
"No, I'm good. You stay up with me all the time." He poured himself coffee and sat at the table. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."
"Care to share your thoughts?" He pulled one knee up to his chest and wrapped his arms around it, looking at me.
"I'm the reason my sister's burning in Hell right now." I said casually. "So that's great."
"Why do you say that?"
"She told me."
"She was probably just upset. I'm sure she didn't mean it."
"Yes she did." I looked up at him.
He just gave a little smile and said nothing. There was nothing for him to say.
It was weird. Sirius Black having nothing to say.
"Hey, Sirius?" I said.
"Yeah?"
"I love you. So much."
"I love you too." He smiled, looking down.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Nothing. It's just weird."
"What?"
"Someone loving me." He looked back up.
"What about James and Remus?" I smiled.
"Well, yeah. But we aren't exactly the mushy gushy type." He smiled.
"You are so mushy gushy!" I laughed.
"Yeah, but only to you." He grinned.
We sat in silence for a while. "So, what do you want to do?" He asked.
"There's not much to do in the middle of the night." I said.
"I meant for the wedding." He smiled a little bit.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing. Just scared as hell." He said casually.
"What are you scared of?"
"Ah, where to start." He said dramatically. "Mostly I'm scared of losing you. There'll be plenty of time to change your mind between now and the wedding. Also, apparently you're suicidal and didn't feel the need to tell me, so I'm scared of coming home and finding you dead. I'm scared of Voldemort, and that he could kill you, James, Remus and Lily."
"It's gonna be okay." I smiled a bit. "James, Lily and Remus are very skilled. They'll be all right. There's always a chance we'll die, though. I won't change my mind, no matter what. I love you. And I'm not going to kill myself. I don't want any of you having to clean my blood up off the floor. I believe God has a plan. It'll all be all right."
He came and knelt beside my chair, wrapping his arms around my waist and putting his head on my arm. "You're a saint, Eliza." He said.
I pulled my arms through his and wrapped my arms around him, putting my head on his. "Far from it. Thanks, though."
"No, you are. You just watched your sister die, and you're the one comforting everybody."
"Yeah, well." I sat up, stroking his hair.
"I love you so much." He whispered. "I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this."
"It's okay, love. I'm sorry you've had to go through everything too." I said.
"Do you want to go on a walk?" He asked, sitting up.
"I don't think that's a good idea." I said. "It isn't safe."
"Fine. Let's have sex, then."
"I'm gonna go home."
He laughed. "Just kidding, Taylor." He retook his seat.
There was a crash in the bedroom, and we both took out our wands. Sirius pushed me behind him as we crept back there, and I shot him a glare. If he dies, I'll kill him.
"Prongs?" Sirius said.
"Sorry." James said. I peeked over Sirius' shoulder to see James picking up some broken pieces of glass. He gave up and simply waved his wand. "There we go. All better. Uh, Padfoot? I need to talk to you."
"Yeah?" Sirius said.
James hugged him. Sirius hugged him back, giving me a weird look.
"I'm gonna go home. I'll see you guys around." I said, and apparated back home.
I sat on the couch. "Expecto Patronum." I said.
A silvery dog flickered and died.
I closed my eyes, remembering all those late nights in the common room with Lily and the boys, Sirius flirting with me and Lily, James flirting with me because he was too scared to flirt with Lily. Remus, Lily and me studying in the library, and James and Sirius distracting us. Lily, Sev and me sitting out by the Great Lake, him watching her over his book. That dinner Sirius and I had had with my parents. Remus showing up at my door with two bouquets of flowers every month. All of us crowded around Sirius on a hospital bed after a full moon and Sirius absolutely adoring the attention and refusing to let Remus out of the group. James and Lily kissing. Professor Dumbledore giving a speech at the beginning of each year. "Expecto Patronum." I said again, a small smile on my lips.
The silver dog nudged my ankles, and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I smiled and watched the dog stalk around me protectively.
When we had been learning to make Patronuses, I couldn't do it unless I was around Lily, Sev or one of the boys. Pandora told me it was because they made me happy. She was always happy, especially with Xenophilius. She was a brave one for that. My Patronus used to be a cat. Sirius would always joke about it and make his dog Patronus run at mine. Mine eventually morphed into a dog. At first I had thought it was a protection thing against Sirius, but then I did some research and found that it was because I loved him.
The dog jumped up on the couch and laid on my lap.