Shooting Star

Chapter Forty-Five

1991

When Sirius didn't come home that night, I was only mildly worried. I figured he'd gone to Remus' and just forgotten about our date. I didn't mind much. I went to work the next morning as usual.
When I came in, Ms. Strout gave me a pitying look. "What? What is it?" I demanded, terrified.
She held out a newspaper. I unintentionally snatched it from her.
Twelve Muggles and One Wizard Killed was what the front page read at the top. My heart was racing. What had Sirius done?
My eyes scanned the page for his name. It wasn't what I expected. It was worse:
Sirius Black taken into custody and brought to Azkaban.
I had to read the whole paper. Apparently Peter was killed, and Sirius had killed him and the muggles. All they found of Peter was a finger. Gross.
"This is bull." I told Ms. Strout. "Sirius wouldn't have." I sat down, trying to control my breathing. Peter was dead?
I read the paper again.
"I swear to God, Ms. Strout. Sirius would never." I repeated. Azkaban?
"I know." She sat beside me, putting her arm around me.
I knew what Azkaban was, but it didn't click just then.
"Peter..." I whispered, staring at the ground. Sure I hated the guy, and this is exactly what he deserved, but it just wasn't something I could handle. "Remus." I said suddenly. "Oh my God. Remus. How am I supposed to tell Harry? Oh, God. Oh my God." I couldn't breathe. This was an absolute nightmare. "I need to talk to Remus. Actually I should talk to Harry first--"
"I'm sure Dumbledore's taking care of Harry. Take care of yourself first, go talk to Remus, and then you can go talk to Harry." Ms. Strout said gently.
I didn't want sweet little Peter to be dead. Granted sweet little Peter died when he sided with Voldemort, but still.
"All right." I said, making an effort to compose myself. "I'll go see Remus after work."
"What?" She said, like I'd totally taken her by surprise.
"What?"
"Go now."
"No, I've got to work. It isn't fair--"
"Honey, it's okay. Go to your friend."
"But--"
"Go on. I can handle things here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, of course. Take your time, love."
"Thank you, Ms. Strout."
"Remus!" I yelled as I let myself into his house. "Remus!"
"I'm right here. You needn't scream." He said from the kitchen table.
"Sorry." I said, sitting beside him. "Have you--"
"Read the papers? Yes."
"Do you--"
"Believe it? No, not at all."
"But--"
"Yeah. I know."
"It is possible for me to get into Azkaban?" I asked.
"You aren't going there." Remus said immediately, almost before I finished talking.
"Yes I am."
Back to when we were dating: Me reckless, him rational.
"No, you aren't. It's--"
"I know. I don't care. I'm going."
"Don't you mean we're going?"
"No. You aren't coming."
"Well, you're not going alone."
"No offense, but I'm happier than either of you." I said. "You can't go be around all those Dementors."
"No you aren't. You just try to convince yourself you are. You don't need to be around them either."
"I'm perfectly fine, Remus. But fine. Let's go."
"Have you told Harry?"
"No. I figured I'd get all the facts first."
He grabbed my hand as I started to stand. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah." I lied. "Are you?"
He nodded curtly. "What's your plan?"
"Go to Kingsley. Isn't that always the best plan?"
He laughed a bit. "Yeah, it generally is."
Into the ministry we went. I, of course, had no earthly idea where I was going, so I just followed Remus.
We walked into an office to see Kingsley sitting at a desk. "I need you to take me to Azkaban." I said without preamble.
"Take us to Azkaban." Remus corrected.
"Please." I added.
"Look, Eliza." He folded his hands. "I understand why you--and you, Remus--would want to go, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Azkaban, it's--"
"We know." I said. "Take us."
It took a lot of convincing, but he finally agreed. "All right. Fine. I guess. Can you both produce an ample Patronus?"
"Yes." We both said.
"Have you done so with Dementors around?"
"Yes."
"This is going to be harder." He warned.
"Okay. We get it. Let's go."
"It's going to be terrible." He continued.
"I know. Tell Remus he can't come." I said.
"Tell Eliza she can't come." Remus countered.
"Neither--"
"Let's just go." I said.
"You might want to go ahead and cast your Patronus." Kingsley told us as we neared an island. We could already hear people screaming. I reached for Remus' hand. I don't know what Sirius actually did to get himself here, but whatever it was, I'd kill him for it.
"Kingsley, you--"
"Yes, I know he wouldn't have done that." He cleared his throat. "They're saying it was his fault James and Lily were killed."
"For Merlin's sake, don't tell him that." Remus said.
We followed Kingsley into the huge building, the Patronuses going out in circles around us, driving the Dementors back. My Patronus flickered, but stayed, and I ignored Remus' pointed look. When Kingsley said 'terrible' he wasn't only talking about the Dementors. It was so much worse than just Dementors...
Sirius was in a cell at the end of the hallway. "What the hell did you do?" I demanded.
"Eliza!" He stood up. He looked like he'd been in here for months. "Moony! Hey, Kingsley."
Kingsley nodded and stepped away, giving us room.
"Looking good, Eliza." He said, trying to act normally.
"Shut up, Black." I said.
Sirius came up to the bars. "Why are you here? You shouldn't be." He turned to Remus. "Why would you let her--"
"I tried to stop her." Remus said. "Tell us what happened."
"I saw Peter on my way to work, and I was just going to avoid him, but he came up to me. I don't know. There was just an explosion... Peter. Is he...?"
"He's dead." Remus said.
Sirius dropped his forehead onto the bars. "Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin. Harry."
"Don't worry about Harry. I'll take care of it." I said.
"Are you all right, Padfoot?" Remus said quietly.
"No, not really. I'll be fine. Neither of you need to come back here."
"Sirius--" I began.
"Please. It's useless for you to be subject to this too."
I stepped up and kissed him through the bars. "We'll figure this out." I whispered.
"I love you." He said, grabbing my hand through the bars as I started to step back.
"I love you too." I squeezed his hand and went over to Kingsley. "Don't go insane, all right?" I told him as I walked away.
"Thanks." He smiled, watching my Patronus as it paced back and forth in front of his cell, the ghost of a smile on his lips.
"You should stick with your Patronus." Kingsley told me.
"Sirius needs it more, don't you think?" I said as we watched Remus and Sirius talk. I already felt the weight of the Dementors surrounding us without my Patronus, but I didn't care. I'd live.
People in the cells were calling out to us, but Kingsley had made us promise to ignore them. It was painful.
Sirius and Remus clasped hands through the bars for a moment before Remus joined us again, and we left.
"Do you think I can procrastinate telling Harry until tomorrow?" I asked.
"Sure." Remus said.
"Will you stay with me tonight?"
"Of course."