Shooting Star

Chapter Fifty-Three

"Dumb ass!" I hissed, jumping up. "Get inside!"
"And Buckbeak?" Sirius asked.
"What?!"
"Buckbeak!" Sirius patted the hippogriff.
"If you think I'm letting--"
"Please?"
"Fine." I sighed. "Just get in the bloody house, damn it."
"I must say," Sirius said as I drew the curtains, "I was expecting a bit of a warmer welcome."
He looked just like he had when he left, just more tired and broken... Older.
"We have to get Dumbledore over here, and then--" I began, completely ignoring him. Honestly! Could he have come in any more of a dramatic, attention-drawing way?
"Eliza." He said, and his voice cracked. I looked at him, sighing. "Can't we get Dumbledore in the morning?"
"I guess so." I cast a quick look around to make sure all the curtains were closed before throwing myself into his arms. "Are you okay?" I demanded.
"I'm... All right." He hugged me tightly.
"I missed you. I love you. Are you all right?" I demanded again, pulling away to look at him.
His eyes were a bit more haunted, a bit more crazy, a bit more broken, and a bit less carefree, a bit less calm. His hair was far too long, and he needed to shave. His cheeks were hallow, and there were bags under his eyes. He'd lost a bit of weight. Over all, though, he still looked just as he had before.
He met my gaze with his hollow eyes as he slowly shook his head. "I..." He trailed off, and didn't start talking again.
I finally got to do something I've been wanting to do for three years: I kissed him.
He reciprocated much more than I'd expected. He kissed me more desperately than he had that night back in school when he showed up at my parents' house.
I finally broke away, because I always have to. He was smiling, the corners of his eyes crinkling. I smiled back, a bit worriedly. "Sirius..." I said.
"Yeah?" It came out hoarse, and he cleared his throat.
"Do you want to talk..?"
He shook his head. "Nope. Not at all."
He made as if to kiss me again, but I stopped him. "Sirius..."
"Yeah?"
"How are you sane, Sirius?" I finally said.
"I don't know. I guess it's because I knew I was innocent. It wasn't a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn't take it."
I hugged him, not saying anything. Poor thing...
"I'm all right." He told me again.
"I'm sorry, Sirius." I whispered.
He didn't respond, just hugged me tighter.
"Hey, Eliza? Remember when your parents died, and you were upset because you thought everyone was acting like you were fragile?"
"Yeah."
"So hug me tighter."
I hugged him tighter. Much tighter.
"Can you go tighter?" He asked.
"No, not really." I was hugging as tight as I could.
"This'll do." He laughed a bit, and his arms tightened around me.
"I'm so sorry." I said. I couldn't breathe very well, but that was okay. I didn't mind.
He pulled his head back and kissed me, not loosening his arms in the slightest.
"Are you hungry?" I asked.
"Famished." He smiled and let me go.
"What do you want?"
He considered for a bit. "A sandwich." He said.
"That's it?"
"Yeah. I'll make it."
"I can."
"I can."
"All right." I agreed.
He made the sandwich, and started looking in the cupboard.
"What are you looking for?"
"Alcohol."
"There isn't any here."
"... Why?"
"I didn't have use for it. You weren't here."
He laughed. "I see." He took his sandwich and looked around before sitting at the table. "Aren't you going to join me?" He asked after a while.
I sat down and watched him.
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" I asked when he finished.
He made me bow to the hippogriff, but then the hippogriff bowed to me. "He likes you!" Sirius said. "You can pet him now. Do you have any food for him?" He opened the freezer and took out a steak, throwing it to him. Buckbeak caught it.
"Hey, Sirius?" I asked. "What do you suggest we do with him?"
"Keep him, of course. What else could we do with him? He'll be killed if we don't."
"Where do you suggest we keep him?" I pressed.
"Here, of course." He said like it was rather obvious.
"All right." I said. I guess we have a pet hippogriff. "I'm going to write Dumbledore so we can keep him outside." I said.
"But--"
"Sirius, we can't keep him in here. I'm sorry."
"All right."
I sent my Patronus to Dumbledore, and he was here within a minute.
"One thing." Dumbledore said when we were finished. "Remus Lupin cannot be your Secret Keeper."
"Why not?" Sirius asked.
"It's too obvious."
"Remus wouldn't--"
"No, he wouldn't. But if anybody were to really want to know, they could really--"
"You're right." I agreed. "Unfortunately, Sirius trusts nobody but Remus."
"Exactly." Sirius said.
"Would you, Professor?" I asked.
"I'd be honored. However, I feel you should think about it more."
"I agree with Eliza, Professor." Sirius said.
"Are you sure?" Dumbledore asked.
"Positive." We both said.
"And, Mrs. Black?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yes, Professor?"
"It's perfectly safe for Severus to know where you are."
I smiled. "All right."
"So, catch me up." Sirius said after Dumbledore left.
"On?"
"Everything."
"Harry's a Seeker and their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher first year was, like, attached to Voldemort. Ginny Weasley opened the Chamber of Secrets and Harry killed the basilisk in the walls. Oh, Harry's Parsletongue too, by the way. They had Dementors all over Hogwarts this year to protect against you. Hermione, Harry and Ron witnessed a full moon and Severus tried to protect them. Severus--"
"He protected James' kid?"
"He's Lily's too. That's why. He also still thinks he owes James from--he thinks that he owes James." I ended. No need to bring that up. "But I screeched at Severus in front of his students and shit until Remus made me stop but it's all good now."
"Why'd you screech at him?"
"He told everybody about Remus."
"He--"
"He apologized." I said before he could say anything.
"Buckbeak's all by himself." Sirius said.
"I think he'll be all right, Sirius." I smiled.
"So, how's Severus?" He prompted.
"Good, I guess. Still the Potions teacher."
"Still your friend?"
"Yes. Still my friend."
"That's it?"
"Yes, Sirius." I looked at him, but he didn't look at me.
"And how's Remus? I didn't get to talk to him much."
"He's good, I guess. It's been so sad, though. Him being alone on the full moons..."
He nodded.
"Harry said he was here a lot." He continued.
"Yeah. He practically lived here. So it was weird being here by myself this last year." I said.
"Oh."
"Harry, Ron and Hermione are always here over the summer. They alternate between here and at the Weasley's."
"That's nice."
"Yeah." I agreed.
"I love you." He said suddenly.
"I love you too." I said. "Are you ready to go to bed?"
"Depends. Do you mean sleep or sleep sleep?"
"Which one's which?" I laughed.
"Take your pick." He smiled a bit.
"I meant just sleep. Are you not too tired to have sex?"
"Can one ever be too tired to have sex?"
"I think so." I smiled.
"Then I'm not ready. I can't sleep very well anymore." He dropped his gaze again.
"You haven't slept with me, though." I smiled a little.
"Ah, true. Shall we?" He stood up, holding out his arm.
We laid in bed, on separate sides as always. I refused to go to sleep until he did.
He came over onto my side of the bed and draped his arm over me. I turned my head a bit to look at him. "Are you all right?" I said quietly.
"Yeah. Go to sleep."
I turned onto my side, and as I did, his other arm slid under me. I slipped my hand into his, and he kissed the back of my head.
"Hey, Eliza?" He asked, sounding smug. "Wanna just have sex instead?"
"Go to sleep."
"Eliza?" He said, sounding broken. "I can't breathe." 
I turned around in his arms and touched his cheek. "It's all right, love." 
"I know." He said quietly. "I feel better, being out of there." He agreed. "But it's still..."
"Traumatizing?"
"Yeah, exactly." He kissed my forehead.
"I can't imagine." I agreed.
"Don't try. It's..."
"I'm sorry, Sirius."
"I love you." He said.
"I love you too."
"Do you want to watch a film?"
"Sure."
We watched a film, and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I was afraid to move, not wanting to wake him. He obviously needed sleep more than I did. I did stop playing with his hair, though, but then he started stirring, so I started it up again.
I sat on the couch playing with his hair all night long. This can't go on forever.