chapter 18

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   I roll over and feel around for Rami but he's gone "babe?" I shout "he went to get us some food" Carly walked into the room from the kitchen with Portia behind her "oh my god guys I havent seen you in so long" I say I hold the blankets over my naked body and hug the girls. "How have.." I start but feel the bile rising from my stomach and rush to the bathroom barley making it to the toilet, I feel someone rub my back and hold my hair up as I empty the contents in my stomach. When I finish I lean against the shower door and wipe my mouth, "Clair are you okay" Portia ask standing in the door way I nod my head no and shed a tear " I think I'm pregnant". "BANG" we all look to the door and see Rami standing there with his eyes wide mouth open and the bag of food on the floor. 

  It was silent for a few minutes no one moving, Rami standing at the door, Portia in the door way to the bathroom and Carly beside me sitting on the tub. A wave ran over me and my face was right back in the toilet again, I herd shuffling and felt Rami's large hand on my back "it's okay let it out" he whispers. After I finish I wipe my mouth and lean my head on Rami's bent knee "I'm scared" I whimper and start to cry. Rami sits down and holds me letting me cry into his shoulder. 

  "Babe... how?... when?...why?" Rami tries to form a sentance "well I've been throwing up all day almost everyday for the past month and a half, I've been sore and my boobs hurt, I alway have to pee,  I have headachs, i've gained a bit of weight and I didn't get my period last month or this month. I reasearched the sympotoms I've been havign and it all saying pregnent" I explain to Rami "we're just going to go, hope you guys figure this out" Carly says as her and portia walk out of the room, I forgot they were here. "Rami what are we going to do? You have you career to think of, you don't need a baby to get in the way everything oh good now I'm crying again" I ramble "hey look at me. We will figure this out. We'll go get some at home test and find out if you actually are pregnant and if you are we'll take it on day by day."

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"BEEP BEEP" the timer goes off meaning the tests are ready, the four tests are sitting on the counter in the bathroom, while Rami and I in the bedroom sitting on the edge bed beside eachother holding hands. "You look I'm to scarred" I tell him "you look" he nudges me "I have to carry the baby least you can do is look" I yell, Rami sighs and walks to the bathroom "uugghh Clair come in here" Rami calls I stand and walk to the bathroom, Rami moves out of the way so  I can look at the test. PREGNANT PREGNANT NOT PREGNANT NOT PREGNENT  the ClearBlue test read "give me the other two I need to know fore sure" I grab the two and take them not even waiting for Rami to leave the room. I place the cap on both test and leve the room "set the timer" I tell Rami and pace the room. 

I have mixed emotions, I don't know if I want to be pregnant right now. I do want children but not now and Rami isn't ready to be a father his career is just taking off and we've only been together for six and a half short months. The timer goes off taking me from my thoughts, Rami stands up but I stop him, I need to do this myself, find out my fate. I walk in to the bathroom and stand with my eyes closed infront of the counter, I already know I'm pregnant I didn't need all thoes test to tell me, but the sliver of a chance that I'm not is why I'm taking these test. I sigh and open my eyes PREGNANT PREGNANT, I emeditly start to bawl. I walk out of the room with the two sticks in one hand and my other hand over my mouth, I nod my hed yes as I walk towards Rami, I fall into his arms and cry not sure what to do.  

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