Amnesty | Book 4

e i g h t

BRUCE
"She tried to kill herself?" Cheri looked at me as if she were shocked. "That's some serious shit." She said just before swallowing what was left of her glass of Vodka.

    "Yea." Was all I could say as I swallowed my own glass.

    The kitchen has become my home for the time being. I spent most of hours in it. Tereny had grown accustomed to being upstairs. So I made sure I took what I thought was harmful out of each room up there. I even took the lock off of our bedroom door. It felt like I had her ass on punishment.

    "So, what you think the doctor is gonna tell you today?" She asked me, pouring another glass of Vodka and cranberry juice. I shook my head, starting to wonder if drinking this morning was such a good idea.    

    "That last doctor was wrong. He ain't know shit he was talking about. Talking about she was just a few weeks. That's not possible." I tell her.

    I sip more of my Vodka, realizing that I was running out. That's when I realized that I should've bought more.

    I drank the last that I had in my cup and contemplated on pouring another.

    "Bro...I know some things, you don't like to be told. And I know how much you love Tereny. And I know you don't wish nothing bad on her. If anything bad was to happen to her, you wouldn't know what to do. But..." Cheri paused and pinched her lips together.

    She put her cup to her mouth and started sipping hard.

    "But what?" I asked her, wondering what she had to say.

    She pulled the cup away from her lips and looked down for a minute just before looking back up at me.

    "It was nothing." She said, brushing it off. But I wasn't letting it go.

    "But what, Cheri?" I asked her.

    She sighed.

    "But nothing. I just know you love her a lot. And if anything bad was to happen to her, you'd lose your mind. You wanna protect her real bad and I know you do. But this is beyond your control. She's going through something deep. You can't fix it. She has to fix it in her own. She has to wanna fix it." She said as she picked up her cup. "Just know that whatever you go through, I'm always gonna be here for you. For the both of you."

    "Yea." I said as I stood up, looking at my wrist for the time. "Look, it's time for me to take Tereny to the doctor." I say to her as I grab my cup and walked it over to the sink, sitting it inside to be washed at a later time. "Let yourself out?"

    She stands to her feet, taking the whole cup to the head and clearing her throat. She wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and smiled.

    "I need to be heading out anyway. Jeremih has a little meeting with a daycare today. Jeremy's working full time at some gym." She grabbed her keys. "Keep me posted?"

    She touched my shoulder as she walked out.

    "Yep."

    I turned around to watch her let herself out. When the front door closed, I looked at Tereny who was sitting there in the living room staring back at me. Sighing, I leaned against the wall wondering how long she had been sitting there. She looked down in shame.

    Part of me wanted to apologize, but I couldn't find it in me to do it. Instead, I just walked over towards the counter where the keys were sitting and grabbed them. Tereny took that as her cue to get up.

    We headed out of the door and got into my car. Tereny strapped herself in with the seatbelt and looked over at me. I couldn't help but feel like a fool, talking about her like I did with Cheri. She probably heard everything.

    I started the ignition and turned up the AC.

    "I'm sorry about what I did yesterday." Tereny said in a small tone.

    Quickly, I looked at her, instantly forgiving her this time. I mean, no matter how hard I try, I can never stay mad at her. She meant a lot to me. And for me to be mad with her for so long...I couldn't imagine. It would be impossible.

    "It ain't yo fault." I say to her before backing out of the driveway.

    "No. I mean, for everything I've been doing lately. It's just that...these voices."

    "You ain't gotta explain. We just need to get you well. We can go pick up those meds after your doctor's appointment."

    She nodded and looked down.

    The ride to the doctor was quiet, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. I expected it. I'm sure she expected it too. With her frequent heavy breathing, I was starting to wonder if she really wanted to be out and about. Maybe because she heard my conversation with my sister. I shouldn't have said anything to Cheri. Maybe it would release some of the tension in the air. And it was a lot of it floating around above us.

    Once at the doctor, I opened the car door for Tereny to get out. She didn't even look at me or give me a thank you. It didn't hurt my feelings. It just made me wonder if she had an attitude with me or not. Either way, it did kinda bother me.

    We walked into the building and walked over to the counter where the receptionist was patiently awaiting our approach.

    "Welcome. Which doctor are you here to see?" She asked, pulling back her big Poetic Justice plaits.

    "Dr. Palmier." I answer her.

    "Okay. Just sign in here and she'll be with you shortly." She smiled directly at me, not bothering to acknowledge Tereny's existence.

    I moved aside to allow for Tereny to sign her name and once that was done, we just went to take a seat. I leaned my head back against the wall and looked at Tereny who was looking at the receptionist with evil eyes.

    I remember back before any of this happened to us, a girl approached me when we were out having dinner. Tereny and I were talking about the kids and the future when the girl approached me. And at first, I thought she was the waitress. But when she started talking to me about something other than my order, that's when I realized shit was about to get real.

    Tereny got up out of her seat and pressed her finger against the girl's forehead and threatened her life. That girl was embarrassed. She was so embarrassed that she looked more ashamed than anything as she walked off.

    And that shit was a turn on to me. I didn't give a fuck about dinner anymore. I wanted Tereny. So I took her to the ladies' bathroom and fucked her in one of the bathroom stalls. Even after dinner, we fucked in the parking lot in the car.

    That night was so much fun. And that was the Tereny that I remembered. I remember her.

    The Tereny sitting beside me wasn't who I'm used to. She's nowhere near the Tereny that I married. And honestly, I was feeling myself distancing away from this woman.

    As bad as I wanted to hold onto her, I just couldn't find anything to hold onto. It was almost as if she wanted me to go away. And I love her. I always will. But this person, she didn't want me. There's nothing in the world that would make believe she loves me back. I just can't find myself to believe such a thing.

    We've gone so far though. Too far to fall apart. But not all good things tend to last forever.