Amnesty | Book 4

t h i r t y n i n e

TERENY
"Job hunting sucks."

    I say more so to myself than to Antoinette. She sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of grapes, pushing them my way. I grab a few and started to chump down on them as I scrolled the pages on the laptop in front of me.

    It's evident that in order to possibly win this custody battle, I had to show proof of income. Something I didn't have. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, feeling frustrated.

    It was taking everything in me not to raise up, grab my things, and go on home. Unfortunately, I needed to do this. It was time for me to at least try getting back out there in the field. I wasn't going to let my crazy episodes chump me into staying at home and relying on Tray to take care of me.

    "Why don't you apply to Rosettes with me? I can always see if my boss would be willing to add in another crew member." Antoinette said to me before she started chewing.

    "Would you, please?" I say, sounding desperate.

    "Yes! I'll ask first thing tomorrow morning." She said to me just before grabbing a handful of grapes and stuffing them into her mouth, one by one.    

    "This is becoming a pain in the neck, honestly. I just want to get this over with already." I admit as I started to shutdown the laptop. It was beginning to make my eyes hurt.

    "It's gonna be that way, I assume. I mean, you signed the divorce papers. It's only the beginning."

    "I get that part. But I only signed them because it's what I felt needed to be done. There's no repairing us at all. What's done is done. And I think it's all for the better."

    "You think?" Antoinette said to me, readjusting her seating. "You think it's all for the better?"

    I quickly rolled my eyes and sighed. I knew where Antoinette was going.

    "Honestly, Bruce doesn't want this marriage just as much as I don't."

    "But have you two even talked about anything, though?"

    "What is there to talk about? Our only concern is for the kids and their safety. We both want them."

    "Okay." Was all that Antoinette said.

    "I mean, Bruce hates me. I'm sure he does. There's nothing there anymore. He already doesn't care about me. He made that pretty clear. And he even showed up to Tray's house, fighting. Him catching me there only added fuel to the fire."

    "I don't think he hates you. Is he upset? Yes. But as far as hating you, it's a strong word. He's just being a man who's going through a divorce."

    "And I'm being a woman who's going through a divorce and it all boils down to the safety of my children and where they belong."

    "I still think the two of you should actually sit down and have a talk about it before acting out on something you just may regret in the long run."

    "I'm not going to regret anything I've done thus far. I'm only doing what he wants me to do."   

    Antoinette shrugged it off and continued eating her grapes. I sat there in pure silence, thinking over things.    

    I knew that I was doing the right thing. It just had to be done. Bruce and I no longer felt the same for one another and that was true. The love was gone.

    I was staring off into space just reflecting on all that has happened to me. Normally, I would just blame Bruce for it all, but what would that solve?