Amnesty | Book 4

t h i r t y e i g h t

BRUCE
"She signed the divorce papers..."

    I say as I sit up in bed with my phone placed to my ear. I rubbed the crust out my eyes and looked around the room that no longer had Tereny's things in it. It was just a room with me in it and I no longer shared it with anyone.

    To say that Tereny had signed those papers, it made me a bit more upset than it should've. And with it being three weeks after she signed them, it had me feeling like I was only angry at her because she left me. Who was I fooling?

    Seeing her at Tray's house fucked my mind up serious. I went home that day, thinking of ways to hurt her, when in reality, I should've been thinking of ways to make a situation such as this one better.

    Being spiteful wasn't me. My problem was just trying to keep Britney safe. I wanted her with me where I felt she belonged. But now, what was important was being sure to be cordial for the sake of the children bc I'm going to have them after this battle was over.

    With Tereny not working and living under the roof of a man who isn't working, it was a guaranteed denial. That's what my lawyer, Pete McGraham, told me. So I had nothing to worry about. I just needed to go to court, try my hardest not to lose control, and listen to what the judge says. I just need to go in there with my head held high and my hands low.

    "I'm still in shock this is happening right now." Chris said from the other end of the phone.

    I hadn't been talking to him much. I haven't been talking to anyone as much as I used to. I was just to myself. My heart was sort of empty and it felt I didn't have anything in me left.

    I woke up every morning not looking forward to anything but taking care of Britten. Things was more routine now and it irked my soul.

    I woke up every morning, got Britten up, dressed and fed. I got dressed for work, leave the house, drop Britten off to daycare, and go to work.

    Normally, I'd look forward to Saturday's. But hell, what for? Weekends became a routine too.

    This was the life I wanted. I just never thought about chances of divorce. I just knew that me and Tereny were always going to be together. That's what I had made up in my mind the day I took my vows. I wanted to leave the bad shit behind, but instead of being a man and admitting what I've done, it's caused so much turmoil. No one was to blame but myself. Karma is real. I don't know what made me think I could outsmart it anyway.

    "You still coming up to see Yasmin? You know she misses you." Chris asked me once my mind had trailed off.

    I'd been avoiding going up to Georgia simply because I didn't want to be faced with all the shit that happened back there. I also didn't want to be faced with Gabby's death head on either. I just wanted to leave the shit behind me and just pray that Chris and Keira would just move back here. But I knew that wasn't happening.

    I sighed into the phone and looked out of my bedroom window, thinking to just get the hell up and get my Saturday started.

    "It's been a minute. I should make plans to come there. I need to get away for a couple days." I say just before getting out of the bed to get my day started.

    "It should get your mind off what's going on for a little while. Just take some time off. You know my home is always open."

    Although I didn't mind getting away, truth is, I wasn't sure if I wanted to get away in Georgia. Too much happened there. And I didn't quite feel right going away while Britney was still here.

    So yea, I was still hanging onto her and wanting her back into my care. I just wouldn't feel right leaving her here. But I did miss Yasmin a lot. One thing I didn't want to do was bring Yasmin here into this mess. So I just needed to get myself together before I could do what I wanted.

    I talked with Chris for a little while longer while I got Britten up and cleaned. I got him dressed and walked him downstairs to sit him in his high chair.

    Getting breakfast started was a little challenge due to Britten being cranky. I ended up ending the call with Chris so that I could do what I had to do in order to speed up the process.

    And that's when it hit me. A certain urge to cough. I leaned over and started coughing hard as ever. It felt like I was about to cough up a lung. Once it started, it wouldn't stop.

    I walked over to the stove to shut it off once the coughing had slowly subsided. The shit had my chest to hurt.

    I figured that I could just drink a cold glass of water or something to feel better so I fixed a glass. After fixing my water, I fixed Britten's plate and set it in front of him so that he could eat.

    Grabbing my glass of water, I sat down at the kitchen table. Taking small sips, instantly, my throat had started to burn. Shaking my head, I take deep breaths.

    Something wasn't right and I knew it wasn't. I'd never felt this before and it had me a little nervous as to what was happening.

    Shaking my head, grab my phone from out of my pocket and unlocked it. I started taking deep breaths, trying to control the incoming of another cough that was coming at me.

    I leaned over and started coughing the most harshest cough I had ever had before in my life. I could feel my throat tightening up. And that's when blood started to come up.

    Splattering out onto the floor and straight from my mouth. I stood up from the chair in complete shock.

    What the fuck was happening to me?

    Trying to regain my self-control, I look at my phone and dial Cheri's number. Putting the phone on speaker, I take deep breaths. All I wanted was some type of control. I was scared out of my mind.

    "Hey, what's up? I'm at work..." Cheri answered in a rush.

    "I need you." I say into the phone, feeling the urge to cough again. "Something ain't right. I need you right now."

    "Bruce?"

    I started coughing again.

    "I'm coughing up blood." I managed to say in between coughs.

    "I'm on my way right now!" Cheri said into the phone in a panic.

    Before I could say anything else, she hung up the phone. I look towards my son who was looking at me with concern in his eyes. And what he didn't know was, although I was afraid for me, I was more so afraid for him.