Repairing a Broken Heart Shaped Mirror

August 17th 2015

Encouragement

Last night was horrible. I wasn't done cleaning until five in the morning. After everyone left which was around seven I still had more to clean since people thought it was a good idea to throw up all on my floor. Everyone who come to the party including my brother is a jackass. I'm not going to school today I'm too exhausted. As I finished scrubbing the last of the puke from my carpet I stood up in victory. I was completely done my house is clean like nothing has happened. As you might have notice when I clean everything is mine. As I was putting the cleaning products away I heard stumbling down stairs. I turned to see Elijah dragging himself into the kitchen. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and gulped it down. I smirked, "Morning!" I yelled seeing him winced, "Hey, hey not so loud Bennie." I shook my head going up stairs to take a shower and a well-deserved nap.

I felt myself being shook awake. I groaned, "Get off of me, what do you want?" I asked pulling the covers over my head. The covers were pulled off of me completely. "Get up Bennie," Elijah yelled, "You have five minutes to get downstairs or there will be a problem." He left the room closing the door. I thrashed around and pouted, "I don't want to get up. I'm not even going to school." I whined. He yelled through the door, "I know that we're not going to school. So get up before I do something you will regret!" I got out of bed and went to put on some sweatpants then leaving my chest bare. I stomped downstairs to see Elijah at the bottom with his arms crossed impatiently waiting. I made it to the last step glaring at him. Stupid brother waking me up. He raised a brow at me, "Don't look at me like that, and why aren't you dress we're going out." I frowned, "Going out? Out where?" He sighed heavily, "I don't have time to explain just get dressed." Then walked away. I swear he can be a mom sometimes. I went back to my room and changed into a black flannel with black jeans and my black combat boots, then left with my annoyed brother.

As we were driving to God knows where Elijah kept glancing at his watch "Why do you keep looking at your watch, you look like a psychopath." He sighed for like the sixth time, "Because since people took forever to wake up we're 20 minutes late and you know I hate being late." I frowned, "Oh I'm sorry, but who had to stay up all night to clean the house because somebody wanted to throw a goddamn frat party? So yeah, excuse me if I'm a little tired for staying up all night cleaning up your mess." I looked out the window and my heart stopped when I see we were pulling up to an ice rink. I looked over at Elijah terrified, "W-Why are we here. Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you I'm just tired ok and I'm sorry that I make us late I'll set two alarms hell even three, just don't make me go in there." My palms were starting to sweat. I'm terrified of ice rinks since I was 5 years old when I fell into a frozen lake in our backyard at our old house. It started getting very hot and I was starting to hyperventilate. I closed my eyes trying to control my breathing but that incident kept replaying in my mind over and over making me breath even more rapidly. "Bennie!" Elijah yelled. He rolled down all the windows unbuckling himself to leaned me on his shoulder and rub soothing circle on my back, "Shh, it's ok Bennie I'm here." My breathing started to calm and it got a bit cooler. He leaned me back to look at him. "Are you ok?" He asked worried. I nodded biting my lip, not looking at him. I haven't had a panic attack in a while and never in front of Elijah. He still stared at me with that worried look, "Mom told me you had panic attack and what to do but I've never seen it first hand, that was terrifying," He paused for a moment, "Ok let's do this, there's an arcade in there you can go there and if you want I can come to the arcade with you." He really didn't want to do that his face said enough. I smiled a little, "No it's ok, you go have fun." He smiled, "Ok, let's go."

We made it into the building and I kept my head down trying not to look at the ice rink. "Hey, Benjamin." I frowned looking up to see Gabe and a very attractive guy beside him. I smiled a little, "Don't call me that you sound like my parents, Gabriel." I said rolling my eyes still smiling. He walked up to me and kissed my forehead, "I'm sorry baby." I blushed as he wrapped his arm around my waist. Someone cleared their throat, "I would like to know when this happened." I looked up to see Elijah and the guy with their arms crossed, but the other guy looked way more pissed. Gabe chuckled nervously, "Well, I guess when I dropped him off after our first date." The guy frowned, "Date? When did you go on a date? Why didn't you tell me?" Gabe frowned a little, "Because one, it's none of your business and two, you're my brother not my father Levi." Levi rolled his eyes muttering under his breath. Gabe shook his head then smiled at me, "Ok then let's go ice skating." My eyes widen and I ripped myself from his grip. He looked over at me and frowned, "Bennie, what's wrong?" I looked down not saying a word. I don't want to talk about this right now. "Bennie's afraid of ice skating." Elijah spoke. I shut my eyes tightly readying myself for the laughter. And as I feared someone chuckled, "How can you be scared of ice skating that's dumb." I felt tears stinging my eyes. I know that it's not actually ice, but the thought of ice skating makes my heart almost stop. "Don't talk about my brother like that, or do you really want to test me?" He stepped up into Levi's face. I walked off heading to find the arcade.

As I was playing on an arcade racing game I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see Gabe smile sadly. "Hey, I want to say sorry about my brother." He apologized. I shrugged going back to my game, "It's fine, your brother's just an ass." He chuckled as he sat on my lap making me lose my game. Gabe was different from other guys I knew he didn't care about if someone seen us, but I did. I pushed him off me slightly to see the slight hurt in his eyes. "Are you ok Babe?" He asked. How can he be so open about it? I've been hiding myself ever since I knew that I was gay. I've seen how people would get bullied for it and how they lose the people they love. I'm even surprised that Elijah is acting like it's normal when to others it's not. "H-How do you do it?" I whispered hoping he wouldn't hear, but with my luck he did. "Do what?" He asked sitting on my lap once again lucky no one was down here. I nodded to him sitting on my lap, "This, how can you be so open about it." He chuckled, "Because, I don't care what people say about me. People have their own opinion, good and bad, you just got to stand your ground and know that there are people that still loves you," I smiled as Fallon's and Elijah's smiling faces pass my mind, "Like my grandma always told me people will throw dirt on you in life and they will throw dirt on you when you die. So live your life and let them kiss your ass."