February 4th 2016 & February 15th 2016

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I'm Sorry

I opened my eyes to see myself in a hospital bed seeing all the frantic nurses and doctors trying to save my dying body. Everything went by so fast that next thing I seen was my Mom crying her eyes out on my brother's shoulder. Elijah (being the person he is) tried not to cry in front of everyone. Fallon cried silently looking at my almost lifeless body holding one of my hands. Xzavier was crying the most his face turning beet red holding my other hand as if he didn't want to let me go. "Bennie, please come back to me. I love you. I don't want to lose you" Xzavier cried. Elijah walked up to me after seating my drained mother. He looked down at me sympathetically, "This is all my fault. Bennie I should have been there to protect you. I shouldn't have had ever left your side." The doctor came in to tell everyone that it was time to leave. They were relentless at first but they left after all kissing me on my forehead. I didn't realize that I was crying. Seeing everyone in such distrust made my heart hurt past its breaking point. I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry Mom for not being the son that you wanted and made you go through all this. I'm sorry Fallon for not always being there for you when I know that you really needed it. Elijah I'm sorry that I put all my burdens and struggles on you. And Xzavier I'm truly sorry for leaving you.

Finally

After what felt like weeks I was finally conscious but I couldn't move. I tried to move any part of my body but it felt like my body was made out lead. I stop struggling when I heard the room door open. "Hey Bennie," I heard Fallon's voice which made me smile inside, "You wouldn't guess what happen to me." As she was telling me about her day I could do nothing but smile to myself. I miss the way she can always make me laugh even now in my current condition. After what felt like three hours she finishes and finally left me in silence. I was thankful for this silence. I mean I love her and all but girl can talk your ear off. After a while I heard my room door opened up again. I heard a chair move to my bed side and someone held my hand. My heart started to beat rapidly and there's only one person who could do that. It was silent but I could feel his stare feeling myself blush. I heard him chuckle, "Even when you're not conscious I can still make you blush." I felt my lip twitch up a little getting feeling back into my body. I tighten my grip on his hand softly then my eyes fluttered open. I looked over to see Xzavier smiling with tears running down his face. "You're an ass." I said in a raspy voice smirking. Xzavier ran towards the door to call for a doctor hysterically. As a doctor came he checked all my vitals and other doctor stuff that I didn't know what it was. "Well it looks like you made quite the recovery," The doctor said, "But I'm going to have to of course keep you for couple more days until the shot wound is healed enough for you to leave." I just nodded my head as he left. Once the doctor left Xzavier engulfed me into a bone crushing hug making me hiss in pain. He jumped back with a sheepish grin saying sorry. Xzavier looked at me sympathetically already knowing that he blames himself for what happen. I grinned holding out my hand which he told without hesitation. I rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand, "Xzavier, It's not your fault ok? You did what you could to protect me and that's all I can ask for." He smiled and leaned forward and gave me a sweet peck. I smiled feeling my face burn once again. "Has anyone ever told you that you are so cute when you blush?" Xzavier asked grinning. I glared at him, "Has anyone ever told you that you're an ass?" He chuckled shrugging his shoulders giving me another peck, "Maybe once or twice." God I miss this so much.


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