Could I be Enough? *Thomas Jefferson Fanfic*

Ch 16.) After the Ball

    I toyed with the stem of my wine glass.

"Well, let me start off by saying it's a pleasure to meet the Woman John writes about constantly. You really are beautiful." She complimented.

"I'm nothing compared to you," I muttered, disdainfully.

Martha sighed and toyed with her engagement ring.

"Look, I know all about you and all about what transpired with John," She said.

I looked up sharply and glared.

"Well Ms.Ramsay, you have no need to fear about me taking your beloved fiance. I'm not that kind of woman, regardless of the tales you have heard." I hissed.

She flinched and looked at the ground.

"I just wanted to apologize." She whispered.

"What?"

"I know you love John. I can see in his eyes whenever he glances at you that he loves you too...But you know as well as I do, he would do anything for his father. And...I believe I am finding myself falling for him," She said.

"Ms.Ramsay. I do love John. He was the first man to have a special place in my heart besides Alexander. But I can see how happy he is when you are with him. This may be arranged but I can see he will be happier with you than he ever could be with me," I said.

It was like a beam of knowledge had hit me. I realised...

"He was never mine to lose...He is happy with you and I will stand to the side and be his best friend and That's all I was ever meant to be," I said. "I wish you both all the happiness," I whispered, becoming choked up.

I quickly excused myself and went to sit beside the fountain outside. Ignoring the chill of the coming winter. I laughed to myself and Pulled the pins out of my hair, letting the waves fall over my shoulders. I looked at my reflection in the frozen water and tried to clean the tear streaked eyeliner from my cheeks that was mixing with the blush and mascara.

"The party's over, it's time to call it a day...No matter how you pretend, You knew it would end this way. It's time to wind up the masquerade. Just make your mind up...The piper must be paid" I let out a bitter laugh and started to walk around the gardens. "The party's over, the candles flicker and dim You've danced and dreamed through the night. It seemed to be right just being with him. Now you must wake up, all dreams must end, Take off your makeup, the party's over, It's all over, my friend"

I glanced the the Cammilla still blooming despite the cold and snow. I ran my fingers over the frozen petals. I began thinking, why did I fall for John? I knew the answer. He was the first man who showed me great affection besides Alexander. His shy smile and bright eyes. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.

"You danced and dreamed through the night, It seemed to be right just being with him. Now you must wake up, all dreams must end, Take off your makeup, the party's over" I cut myself off with a sob, that tore from my chest.

I collapsed in the snow, my dress pooling around me. He's in love with Martha Ramsay, that much I knew. He looked at her in a way he never looked at me..

'Love at first sight,' I thought bitterly.

Why couldn't I be enough? Or was I just always meant to be second best.

A/N; Ok, so I used a song from 'The Bells are ringing' I absolutley adore this musical. Judy Holiday and Dean Martin slayed it in the movie The clip ----->
Also scrolling through related videos on Youtube I also found a LESLIE ODOM JR VERSION!