Could I be Enough? *Thomas Jefferson Fanfic*

Ch 44.) Giovanna at the Grave

I spent the first week just exploring all that Mt.Vernon had to offer. I understand why Dad loved it here. It was beautiful, serene...quiet.

"So what are you going to do today darling Gia," Martha asked as she knitted in her rocking chair.

"I think I'm going to visit John today Martha...I think i have put it off long enough." I sighed, adjusting my riding boots.

"That's wonderful dear. Perhaps this will finally bring you closure," she said.

I felt my heart thud heavily against my chest and merely shook my head.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back, but it will definitely be before sunset. If not send a search party," I joked.

"Of course...Good luck sweetheart."

I made my way out to the stables and began to gear up Geisha, a beautiful mayor with hair similar to my own, and saddled her.

I clicked my tongue and urged her forward. The ride to the graveyard was short and sweet.

I tied Geisha to a tree before wandering around the yard searching for Johns grave. A large stone caught my eye and i felt compelled to look at it. My heart stuttered when I saw the name. Martha Jefferson. She died so...young. I shook my head. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about Thomas right now.

I continued my search for John, found him near a hill and i untied my cloak, spreading it on the ground before settling down.

My eyes traced the words on the stone multiple times, "John Laurens, dedicated soldier, husband, son, revolutionary. His early loss breaks all of our hearts."

More than they could possibly known.

"Hello John," I whispered. "I've missed you so much. I just wish I could hear your voice helping me figure out what to do one more time." I sighed. "Alexander misses you too. I worry about him sometimes. Hercules and I are closer than ever. We get lunch every Tuesday! I write to Lafayette and his wonderful wife at least once a week..." I trailed off.

I watched the wind ruffle the trees... Paulownia? Of course it would be those trees. So much for just being.

"Then there's Thomas...I met him in Paris. He was...wonderful....Then he wasn't...He turned out to be Thomas Jefferson and...He was insufferable...and then he kissed me and I-I-I," I broke off into more sobs.

"sorry ...I just don't know how I feel anymore. I love him...I hate him.....I love you." I sighed and kissed his headstone.

"I suppose...I promised Martha Washington I would be home before dark. Goodnight John, I'll visit soon." I refastened my cloak and walked back to Geisha, looking at the rapidly darkening sky nervously.

I mounted her and we began a slow trot back to mount Vernon. Geisha stopped suddenly, huffing and backing up nervously.

"What is it girl!" I tried soothing.

I looked down and saw a rattlesnake in our path. Geisha brayed loudly and reared up too quickly for me to get a grasp on her reins causing me to fall. I saw a gravestone coming towards me quickly and felt the pain of my head hitting it before the world around me went black.