Lights Please II

17: I'm So Sorry

Tess

One week later

I was in the living room with a cup of hot chocolate sat by the piano. I was playing very simple chords. It was raining hard outside—something about the fall, the fact that Halloween was coming up which meant Thanksgiving then Christmas—I was my most productive. My moleskin book was almost full of lyrics that I'd kept writing. I was humming to myself trying to figure out this melody, I'd been at it for almost two hours.

Alexia was at preschool and Dondria was gonna pick her up. They'd be home any minute.

"He tells me I'm beautiful everyday.... The better part of him, hear him say... Now that you're watching far away... All I can say.... I'm so sorry," I sang as I kept playing.

I heard the front door open, it was probably Dondria and Lex, I kept playing they'd know where to find me.

"Lex baby, is that you?" I called out.

I heard footsteps and looked up and saw Jermaine walk in.

It'd been a week since I saw him. I tried calling and texting him but he wouldn't answer me. I'd found out from Ib the next day that he flew out to Florida but that's all I knew. I didn't know what he was doing there who he went with or why he just took off on me like that.

I looked up at him and blinked before going back to playing.

"Hey Tess,"

"Hey? That's all you got to say after getting up and leaving for a week without a word?"

"I shoulda told you... sorry... I'm just dealing with a lot... and I didn't need you attacking me the way you did over what happened in the studio..."

I stopped playing and looked up at him. "You wouldn't even let me apologize though bae you just fucked off and disappeared on me,"

He sighed, and dropped his bag and sat down on the couch facing the piano.

"Where'd you go?" I softly asked him.

"Rented a condo for a week... flew out Cozz, Omen, Bas and Ari and some producers we was just recording all week."

I frowned, "Who is Ari?"

"The girl I signed... I told you about her—"

He didn't tell me about her but I wasn't tryna get into all that right now. "Mkay" I shrugged.

"What that mean?" he cocked his head to the side.

"It means o fuckingkay..." I mumbled. "I don't know if you wanna be with me or not—but you can't just disappear and not call for a week... that's not okay.... And if you don't wanna be with me you atleast owe it to me as the mother of your child to let me know your whereabouts. What the fuck you expect me to tell your daughter when you do shit like this?"

"Fucking relax Tess, shit!" he raised his voice a bit. "Y'all are fine aren't you, nothing happened..."

"You were gone for three months on tour and you come back and start pulling shit like this—if you wanna punish me for what happened with Bryson that's fine, punish me! But don't drag Lex into this... You're not a part time dad Jermaine."

"Don't even dare call me a bad father cause I'm workin to put food on the table and have you and Lex livin comfortable—"

"What good is any of that if you not there for her? If at the end of the day she can't even call you to say goodnight cause you won't answer my calls? When I was pregnant with her you promised me you weren't gonna act like our dads did, Jermaine—" I sighed before getting up. "Lex is about to get home from school and you better have a good explanation to her as to why you haven't spoken to her in a week."

---

Jermaine

I thought about what Tess said and sat in that chair for a minute before going to the kitchen to grab something to eat. She was right—well, the part about Lex. But I weren't about to let her know that though. I was too prideful, plus she was a huge part of the reason I felt like I needed to take off. There was just too much shit goin on. The week off in Florida was what I needed though, I was able to put all my focus and energy into my craft and make some great music.

I put a pop tart in the toaster before checking my phone.

From: Ib 2:37pm
come thru a lil later

I shook my head before typing a response

Why? Whats goin on?

From: Ib 2:49pm
aint seen u a minute gotta talk bout some shit

I clicked away from the text and went through my emails. Ib and I lived close so we always were over at each others' and Tess and Nikki were friends too so that was cool. I'd probably drop by later and see what was up.

My face lit up as I heard Alexia come through the door with Dondria.

"Is that my baby girl?" I asked her and she came running towards me with her backpack that almost as big as she was. I picked her up and put her on the counter kissing her face.

"Hi daddy," She smiled at me and waved—she wasn't jumping up and down like she usually is, maybe she was just tired from school.

"How was school sweetie?" I kissed her cheek again and squeezed her sides.

"It was good," she held up a lil drawing she made, "I made a drawing today..."

"Aye you did? Lemme see," she handed it to me and there was three people in the picture. "Who's all this?"

"Me... and mommy... and dondria..." she pointed at it. "I had to make a drawin of what I did in the weekend," she told me.

"Aw that's cute," I mumbled " you want me to put it on the fridge?" I asked and she shrugged.

"Daddy I have to go now... I have to find Biggie and see if he ate today already or no—" she said with a thumb in her mouth. I pulled her thumb out her mouth and kissed her forehead before setting her down.

"Aight baby...when you done you wanna come with me to uncle Ib and auntie Nikki's for a bit?"

"Maybe daddy I'll see—" she said as she ran off. I smiled, shaking my head laughing at her before making eye contact with Dondria who picked up Lex's backpack that she'd left on the floor.

"Alexia come here and pick your bag up you can't just leave it lying on the floor." Don sternly told her and I kind of just watched.

"OOOOoops sorry I forgot cos I wanted to go and check on Biggie—" Lex giggled as she came back in and grabbed her backpack.

Dondria sighed and made her way to the fridge. "Hey Cole,"

"Hey girl," I sat down at the kitchen counter. "you doin' a good job with her..."

"Thanks... I think she just took some time to get used to me but we're good now—she listens and helps around the house and stuff,"

"That's good," I smiled, "How's school and shit?"

"It's good... I'm stressed cause I got a lot going on but it's going good."

"Oh aight, well if you need to study today I can take Lex off your hands go to the park get some ice cream or something—Tess is resting upstairs so we'll be out your way,"

"Thanks Cole," she smiled, "I could catch up on some readings before my lecture tomorrow."

"Aye don't mention it,"

I was glad we had Dondria around to be honest, and I guess Tess liked her too. The only shit we really had to work on right now was our own relationship cause that seemed like it was fallin apart.